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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another inheritance one.

39 replies

Catlady1976 · 31/01/2017 23:16

MN jury what do you think?
4 siblings 2 with kids. 2 without.
One of the siblings with no kids passed away and has left his estate to his niece and nephew.
Everyone involved is OK with this but I can't help feeling it's a little unfair.
I know I would feel uncomfortable if any of my siblings left their estate to their nieces and nephews as I would feel bad for my siblings with no DC.
So what do you think MN please?

OP posts:
NarkyMcDinkyChops · 31/01/2017 23:17

I think he can leave his stuff/money to whoever he wanted and its none of your business.

QueenMortificado · 31/01/2017 23:18

Everyone involved is ok with this

  1. Why are you involving yourself then?
  2. How could they not be? His money, his choice of who to leave it to
Original poster
Catlady1976 · 31/01/2017 23:19

I agree it's none of my business and everyone is happy so it's all good. I guess I am over thinking.

OP posts:
Imbroglio · 31/01/2017 23:19

What do you think would be fair?

They could have left it to a friend or a charity.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 31/01/2017 23:20

Why would you feel bad for the sibling with no dc? All siblings have been treated equally, money has gone to niece/nephew. It's what I would do if I had no dc

JaxingJump · 31/01/2017 23:21

Sounds fine. I don't think it's fair for parents to not treat their kids equally but if there are no direct children I think it's fine to leave inheritance to whoever they wish.

Imbroglio · 31/01/2017 23:22

The only thing would be if the other sibling with no kids subsequently had kids. In which case it might feel unfair to them.

ActuallyThatsSUPREMECommander · 31/01/2017 23:22

Depends on ages and relative financial statuses. If the other childless sibling is in comfortable circumstances but this inheritance might be the younger generation's only chance of home ownership then it makes perfect sense. When I'm dishing out shares of my imaginary Euromillions win then my twenty-something cousins definitely get a flat deposit in preference to my comfortably circumstanced fifty-something sister.

Justmuddlingalong · 31/01/2017 23:24

Some MNetters seem to have an unhealthy obsession with other people's finances. It was his money, his decision, his choice. Everyone is obviously not OK with this.

HecateAntaia · 31/01/2017 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeddaGarbled · 31/01/2017 23:31

I've made provision in my will for nieces and nephews but not for siblings. It seems like the right thing to do, to give the young ones a bit of a helping hand when they are starting out. My siblings are all OK and don't need it.

I think that you are thinking it is unfair to the siblings with no children. But the siblings with children aren't getting anything either - their children are, but they aren't. They have as much right to resent that as the siblings without children. But they don't, because only mean minded people begrudge the children of the family getting a bit of a boost.

AmeliaJack · 01/02/2017 00:17

Look at it this way, if the sibling who died had had their own children they would have inherited so the other sibling without kids still wouldn't have inherited.

DesolateWaist · 01/02/2017 00:19

This is exactly what I plan to do.
I don't think the siblings involved would care really.

JamieXeed74 · 01/02/2017 00:19

Its Fair

LilQueenie · 01/02/2017 00:32

are you one of the siblings? It seems fair to me. None of the siblings got anything just the niece and nephew so I don't see the problem.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 01/02/2017 06:59

No I am not one of the siblings. The whole thing is nothing to do with me. I just was interested in what people's opinion was on this kind if arrangement.
Friend is early 40's and is OK financially.
I suppose it got me thinking because when my dads brother died the money was split between the brothers if still alive or their DC if not.
So thank you for opinions.

OP posts:
user1485931854 · 01/02/2017 07:00

Up to them who they leave the money to

greenfolder · 01/02/2017 07:04

Depends on the family though. I have a childless elder brother. Me and my sister are 40s and doing fine. If he left us any money we would both put it away for our kids. If he left it to the kids fine. If he left it to friends or charity fine. Its his to do what he wants with. Its a discussion we will nevet have.

KathArtic · 01/02/2017 07:05

What if one of the siblings with children had a third child?

I think it was the right thing. Perhaps he thought his siblings would waste the money on holidays and cars, and he wanted to help the next generation.

KateDaniels2 · 01/02/2017 07:36

The only thing would be if the other sibling with no kids subsequently had kids. In which case it might feel unfair to them.

Why? They didn't exist when the person died. Or should the person have keft money for all eventualities?

Some incase one of the siblings has one more or two more or three more. Or the one getting nothing has five kids in the future. They left money to people who exist.

Besidrs which its no one else busineds and they are all happy.

Blinkyblink · 01/02/2017 07:37

Good lord OP! What a waste of your energy

Everyone is happy with it.

Forget about it

CripsSandwiches · 01/02/2017 07:37

YABU. Children are not extensions of their parents. The niece and nephew are probably not going to spend their inheritance on their parents so none of the older generation are benefiting so it's totally fair.

I can totally see why people skip a generation with inheritance. Lots of young people struggle to buy a house where as everyone in my family in my parents' generation, even those who had very low incomes, have been able to buy a house and have already largely paid it off. I think when you're young money can change your life more than when you're older (bit of a generalisation I know) as it can enable you to start a family, do a degree/masters, move to a different area for employment etc. which you're less likely to do when older.

KateDaniels2 · 01/02/2017 07:37

I suppose it got me thinking because when my dads brother died the money was split between the brothers if still alive or their DC if not.

But that has nothing to do witg their situation. Your uncle wanted to do what he wanted and this person has done what they wanted.

What is bothering you about this?

TheNaze73 · 01/02/2017 07:39

Fairness doesn't come into it. It's the wishes of the deceased that are important

chicaguapa · 01/02/2017 07:44

If I, DH & DC all die together I have left everything to my nieces and nephews. One of my siblings has no DC and one of my siblings has more DC than the others. I see all my nieces and nephews equally and they will all get an equal portion of my estate. I don't see it as one sibling getting more than the others as it's not the siblings who are benefitting.