AIBU to expect a bit of fuss from my family on my birthday?

[EllaL]

I probably am. Don’t want to come across as a spoilt brat! It was my birthday on Friday just gone and I feel like my family were so ‘meh’ about it.

I’m 42 and have a dh and ds so not completely on my own or anything, but I feel like I make such a fuss of everyone else’s birthday. I have a nice big house so plenty of room to throw parties and get together, so all other family members seem to come to mine to meet for family celebrations – xmas and Easter included. I don’t mind, I like entertaining, but this year I just felt a little sad that no one seemed to bother.

For info my parents are divorced, my dad doesn’t really bother with my birthday, my step mum will be the driver on sending a card and flowers. My mum lives locally, 5 minutes away, but still works in quite a high pressured job and has an active social life so is always very busy. I have 4 siblings, all live locally too. No one asked to come over and visit me / drop presents off. All of them were like ‘see you soon for pressies’ etc. my sisters wrote happy birthday on my facebook wall, one brother text me, the other brother messaged me yesterday – two days late!

They are all like ‘see you in half term’ as it’s my nephew’s birthday on valentines so I tend to do a little family get together for him at mine.

Don’t meant to sound so spoilt, just needed to vent I guess.

i know the feeling well!! was my birthday fri too, hubby had totally forgot, hed thought it was 2 weeks before so rushed out that morning for cards and shoved them at dd1 who told him he was too early. said cards then got put in a "safe" place and forgotten about. he threw them at me on fri aft when he realised i was pissed off and only then as mil reminded him.
he then didnt speak to me for the rest of the day and we have prob said maybe 5 essential sentences to each other since!
im not overly fussed about my birthday but i do like some acknowledgement, especially since he had made a big song and dance about his in the summer and the kids were upset that he hadnt took them to get me a gift.

happy belated birthday from me anyway

YANBU or spoilt.

I wonder what would happen if you didn't do Xmas or Easter? Nothing probably! I think people need to make the effort so the card or present is given on the actual birthday. It kind of loses it's meaning if it doesn't, but that's just my feelings.

Not sure what the answer is but happy belated birthday

Happy belated birthday

I think some people just aren't fussed about birthdays, I'm not and I absolutely hate any fuss being made of me, I find it very grating. DH on the other hand loves birthdays so I make the effort to throw him a big party, cake etc. DS is only three but we do make a big thing of his birthdays.

I think YANBU as if its important to you it would be nice for your DH to at least make some effort out of consideration for you.

Happy belated birthday, sorry to hear the actual day was rubbish. Spoil yourself with wine, flowers and chocolate and don't share.

I am not someone who is fussed about birthdays. I earn a reasonable wage and can buy what I need myself. My dad never even sends me a birthday card let alone a present, my db will send a card. We might go out for a family meal but I'm not fussed about presents. I can totally understand why you would feel upset if you make a big fuss about others birthdays but no-one reciprocates so YANBU.

Definitely NBU. How old is your nephew? I'd be really tempted, in your shoes, not to bother throwing him a family get together at your for his birthday. If his parents want to do one for him they can do it at their house.

Happy belated birthday from me. x

YANBU at all. I know what you mean. I had my lovely little boy on my 21st birthday and ever since it's been his birthday, not mine. Of course I want all the focus to be on him and for everyone to buy him cards and presents but I kind of wish my family would make a teeny bit of a fuss of me too! I'm going to be 30 this year and my lovely boy will be 9 (where did that go?!) and I've asked family and friends if I could have cards the day after, just because I'd like a bit of a fuss too! Xx

aww I don't think you are being unreasonable especially when you enjoy making a fuss of others. For next year you should plan it how you would like it e.g lunch out or a spa day and then just tell the rest of them what's happening. I've had similar things happen with my siblings so I just plan something nice with my own family and then they can join in if they want. My mum isn't well now and she was always good with birthdays and I really miss the fuss she made of me on the day and I also love doing it for everyone else xxx

YANBU. I don't really mind if extended family don't do anything or forget entirely but if dh and the kids ignore the whole thing, it makes me sad. I mean, I am not high maintenance or anything - all I want is a card and possibly a bar of my favourite chocolate. But birthdays are always a bit shit so this year I am booking myself a day at a spa with a massage and a pedi and lunch and pool included. No one makes a fuss of me so I will make a fuss of myself. Already feeling much happier about the whole thing!!

HA! Great minds, mumontherun!!