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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DCs school have asked people to come in for meetings twice a month every month

47 replies

brokenheartdog · 29/01/2017 21:05

In order to maximise the chance of good results and parent knowledge to support year 10/11s the dcs school have set fortnightly parents evening.

Would you go?
At first I thought it was being run fortnightly so that everyone had chance to get in at some point but no you are expected to go every fortnight to meetings/workshops etc.

While I really appreciate that they want the children to do their best aibu to think this is a bit unrealistic?

I myself am very unwell at the moment and under hospital treatment and many many appointments, others work or care for younger children or disabled children and such and and are going to feel like crap that they are letting their kids down.

OP posts:

BabyDubsEverywhere · 29/01/2017 22:22

I can totally relate!
My dc primary is trying to have a parent/or another adult come in once a week for a half hour workshop with the dc. I have three dc in the school so that three separate half hours and neither me or DH are available in school hours. We don't have anyone else who could go either. Half the class sit there upset every session and the letters about it are getting more and more demanding.

user1484226561 · 29/01/2017 22:24

if teaching was good, then twice monthly meetings wouldn't be needed. how do you work that out? the teaching is most likely finished by now, and so everything depends on the revision DC are doing, at school, and more importantly, at home.

noblegiraffe · 29/01/2017 22:28

Jan is pretty early to be finishing teaching.

Crumbs1 · 29/01/2017 22:28

They can't win can they? If they push achievement (and key to this is high level parental input) they are unreasonable but if they let kids fail they are a bad state school. I'm sure they won't take a register but I would imagine most parents would want to do their very best to support their child at such an important time.

User1234567891011 · 29/01/2017 22:31

I don't think its fair to say the teaching isn't good either. I'm at uni and we're told for every 30 hours of learning in contact sessions (I.e with the lecturers) we should be doing 270 hours of learning at home.

Its the same with school. Going is all good but if you don't put in the effort at home then you'll never get the grades you want. Its not all about what the teachers can do in school - its the effort put into further learning and reading at home.

mathanxiety · 29/01/2017 22:31

My DCs' school has everything a parent could wish and hope for as far as information on student progress goes online.

I have no idea how much it the software or programme cost, but every parent can log in and check all grades, whether there is outstanding homework, how much is in the lunch account, any other comments.

On top of that, all teachers and all deans, etc are contactable by phone or school email any time, and all respond within 24 hours to all communication.

If technology was used in a rational way meetings wouldn't be necessary, and teachers and parents alike could save a lot of time.

Original poster

brokenheartdog · 29/01/2017 22:31

Its an academy
I'm pretty sure teaching won't be finished in January!
Crumbs I get that, of course I want to support my kids.

OP posts:

Original poster

brokenheartdog · 29/01/2017 22:34

Teaching is good, grades are good.
I'm aware in general year 11 in particular came to secondary at a low starting point. I'm guessing that's why.

Its a great school in general.

OP posts:

Verbena37 · 29/01/2017 22:35

Errr year 10 teaching hasn't finished....they've not even done a year of their GCSE course yet!
An hours contact every two weeks is bonkers!
Yes, if it's intervention for children who are really struggling, that's different, but if it's for every parent, it's not necessary and they can't make parents feel guilty for not going.

gillybeanz · 29/01/2017 22:48

I think it's a great idea but understand that some parents couldn't attend, including myself as I work at night.
I disagree that parent's don't need to learn how to support their children, having taught A level students many needed help and parents pushing them to do the work.
In an ideal world it should come from the children, they should be motivated and able to sort it out for themselves, but how many parents don't understand the new marking system and what is expected from their dc.
If the dc are hung up learning all about the system, this is time they could be actually studying their subject.

mycavitiesareempty · 29/01/2017 22:48

This is absolutley batshit levels of craziness.

My parents were only loosely aware of what subjects I was taking at GCSE.

Where is the research evidence that this sort and frequency of parental involvement is going to improve results? Across the board? Spend any spare (haha) teachers' time supporting those from disadvantaged backgrounds who really need it and whose parents probably won't be in a position to attend fortnightly parent workshops!

And besides ....these poor kids! So mollycoddled. When are they going to learn work ethic, persistence, research skills, time-management, etc if their parents are holding their hand throughout!

Enkopkaffetak · 29/01/2017 22:50

I have 4 teenagers over 3 different schools. Trying to imagine if all 3 schools insisted on this for each childs classes.. I would do nothing but going to workshops. On top of that I work shift patterns (so for example tomorrow I will be at work from 12 to 9) Would never work for me. I take my children's education seriously However I also take feeding them and keeping a house over their heads serious.

DD3 goes to a outstanding school and whilst they will do workshops at times if parents can't make it then you get a presentation sent home so you can go through it yourself. Works really well as means you know you still can keep up to date and help even if you can't make the meeting.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 29/01/2017 22:52

I don't disagree with sharing with parents the new marking schemes, expectations, curriculum but why twice a month? We had one meeting recently when this was all covered. Math we also have an excellent online portal which has everything in it, all test results, all reports, all behavioural marks, all food eaten (!) so there shouldn't be any huge surprises at all in terms of attainment.

It's the quantity of expectation that is the issue. I always attend the meetings for both my children's schools once or twice a term, and it's the same parents there (of the high achievers mainly) every time.

underneaththeash · 29/01/2017 23:02

Wouldn't it just be easier and quicker to have a homework diary and write what the child needs to concentrate on over the weekend?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 29/01/2017 23:17

There was a discussion on the radio about this the other week. The Head they interviewed HAD to be on something - no one over 20 is naturally that full of the joys of life. Seriously 'enthusiastic' & 'committed'. The sort you'd cross the road if you saw her coming... Parent, teacher, child forming circles of care & support...having close & meaningful relationships. Travelling the ecpxciting pathway of education together...

I'd be changing schools, there's only so much madness you can deal with.

As for fortnightly meetings at the school. Not a hope. Parents teacher meetings, syllabus meetings, camp meetings, blah blah. We are there often enough thanks. So are the poor bloody teachers. It's not like they're sitting around with nothing better to do in the evenings!

You, collectively, need to tell the Head it's not happening. The teachers will love you forever.

Year 10/11 - they need to be finding their own motivation & way through their schooling, not being spoon fed by teachers & parents. FGS.

Kariana · 29/01/2017 23:17

In a teacher and I definitely wouldn't go. What a mad idea!

Treetophouses · 29/01/2017 23:18

Oh my word, the whole idea of parental involvement at that age is crazy!

At that age, teenagers need to learn to plan and get on with their work fairly independently. No wonder they turn up at university expecting a huge amount of input and emotional support, whereas we just expect them to behave like the adults they are. Your school is doing their pupils no favour.

I'm all for providing healthy food, exemption from chores during exam season, letting my son tell me about the stuff he's learnt, but ME attend fortnightly sessions at school? Nope.

OopsDearyMe · 29/01/2017 23:27

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noblegiraffe · 29/01/2017 23:44

Eh, most people on here seem to agree with Trifle that this is a stupid idea, why does she deserve to be singled out?

unlucky83 · 30/01/2017 00:06

I would try and find out more before I went...for instance how long it is going to last and what exactly it entails...and if I thought it was a waste of time I wouldn't go. If it sounded possibly useful I would go and see what the first one was like...being prepared not to go again...
I support my DCs, I have never missed a parent's evening been to all the events...but workshops - hmm!
At primary I went to one about supporting their learning...it was an absolute waste of time. It was full of pushy loud parents saying how advanced their DCs were, they didn't need really need support with eg Maths - but at the same time asking what the next topic covered would be and what work books they would be using...(and I was once visiting one of those parents (picking up from a playdate) and noticed they had a 'next in series' workbook on the table - must have had their DC working ahead...) And I then found out the evening had been organised by some of the pushy parents....never went to another.
And I have been to something organised by a department at secondary - who were really disorganised. eg. things like they organised evening outings for DCs (most of who would need lifts) with 2 days notice - long story but they once left DD (then 14) on an isolated carpark at 10.30 at night - they had got the timings wrong and were 30 mins early. DD had phoned me as soon as she knew and I was on my way...I saw the coach leaving - but my car could have broken down or anything...

Also DD has ADHD and had a learning plan - things like to email me if she is behind with anything/hasn't completed something -they completely ignored it. I was told at a parent's evening that DD was going to have to repeat the year (which would have blocked a choice for her) because she hadn't done some coursework and was going to fail...(I was furious - managed to get DD to do the coursework asap - made the exam board deadline and she passed...) Sorry huge rant - I couldn't wait for DD (or rather me) to stop having to deal with them...
Anyway they organised an after school thing to help with exams - 2 days notice, 4pm start. Managed to sort something out for DD2 after school etc. They were working with small groups of DCs - one after the other - no communication, lots of waiting around doing nothing and not knowing what was going on. Each group took about 15 mins - as it got later and later DCs that had finished (and their parents) left ...DD was in the last group of 5 DCs with only me and one other parent left (2 of the DC's parent had given up and left) - it finished after 7pm. Basically I'd hung around wasting time for the best part of 3hrs, neither of us had eaten, I couldn't tell the parent who had DD2 how long I'd be etc (they fed her, DP collected her at 6.30) ) ...yes it was useful for DD and me but we could have been told to come later...or told DD's group was last and to come back in an hour or two...

Trifleorbust · 30/01/2017 06:35

OopsDearyMe:

How personal! But this isn't advice, nor is it about teaching.

pourmeanotherglass · 30/01/2017 07:36

Once a fortnight is way too much. I'd go to the first to see how useful they are, and then take it from there. I would have thought that, if they are giving workshops about revision etc, they would be better aiming them at the kids than at the parents. With maybe a copy of the slides on the school website for parents to have a looK if they want to.
I've never missed a pedants evending, but I've never really found them all that useful either.

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