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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To turn down this job offer?

47 replies

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 20:52

The job itself is good, exactly fits my current skills, room to learn new skills, and similar pay to my current role. It's a full time position located on an industrial estate around an hours drive from home and they start early so it would mean I would leave home before DC wake up. I currently work part time in a city centre office which is a 30min door to door commute and DC's nursery is on the way. I've been unhappy in my current job for a few months and can't see it improving that much in the short term but it's still an OK job.

I wasn't really expecting to be offered the new job so was surprised when they came back with the offer. WIBU to turn the new job down just because of the location?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2017 20:54

Congratulations :o
Could you consider moving? How long has your ds got left at nursery?

StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2017 20:54

Sorry ds or dd, don't think you said

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 28/01/2017 20:55

How would it work during the school years?

Sofabitch · 28/01/2017 20:55

Why apply if you didn't want.the job?

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 21:05

Moving isn't an option as we only moved a couple of years ago and we're in good school catchment area. DCs are 2.5 and 4 so still quite a long time before both in school. We will have to use before/after school club at least 4 days a week with whatever job I have in future.

I applied because on paper it sounded great and I wanted some options as I have been feeling very down about my current job. I work in a very specialist area so there are not many jobs to choose from.

OP posts:
VeryNecessary · 28/01/2017 21:07

If you start early do you then finish early? Early enough to justify taking it?

bellabelly · 28/01/2017 21:08

Why don't you accept and try it out for a year (or some other set term). If you're finding the hours / distance too much then apply for other jobs closer to home. Sounds like it'll be good for your cv. AND you're not very happy in your current job and that's unlikely to change. If you accept this new job, you don't have to stay forever!

bellabelly · 28/01/2017 21:09

PS Congratulations!

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 21:17

Thanks for the congratulations! I would be away from home 7am till 6pm 5days a week. Part time not an option with new job. Current job is 4 days and away from home 8am till 6pm as much shorter commute but I've been wanting to leave for about 6 months.

morale in the current office is pretty low, lots of others have left and not been replaced over the past couple of years so everyone is being stretched thinner and it's been quite stressful staying on top of the workload. But I've been there 15years so feel quite loyal iyswim

OP posts:
RandomDent · 28/01/2017 21:20

If morale is low and people are not being replaced you need to go really, before the job disappears and you end up with nothing. Is there a bit of fear of the change?

Wallywobbles · 28/01/2017 21:29

I'd do it if you can. What's you support like? DP? See how you can make it work.

bellabelly · 28/01/2017 21:44

Part time not an option YET. If you're doing a fantastic job fro them and they want to keep you, they might well agree to reducing your hours or allowing you to work from home (if it's that sort of job) one day a week or similar. Once you've got your foot in the door and they like you, they might be much more flexible. If not, you can look for something else.

How would the practical side of it work? Is that what's worrying you most or is it not having as much time? Is the pay better? Could you afford some help like an au pair or a cleaner to stay on top of the domestics?

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 28/01/2017 21:45

Doesn't sound like the right job to me. Too impractical.

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 22:02

I guess there's quite a big fear of the unknown. But the practical stuff is bothering me, like being based on an industrial estate instead of city centre so can't do errands in my lunch break, having to drive every day and having less time with DCs.

DH and I would basically have to reverse our current roles in terms of who is responsible for drop offs/pick ups, doing errands etc except it would add 40mins to his commute doing the nursery run as well so he's not overly enthusiastic. But he knows I'm not happy and says he'll support me if I did take the new job.

OP posts:
GarrulousGrimoire · 28/01/2017 22:07

Have you asked the new job to consider a 4 day week? Or a 5 day week with 1-2 days working from home (if you can?).

Would make sense to say how much you want the job but you hadn't realised the impact of the distance/early start when applying. Enthuse about how pleased you are to be offered and how you hope it will be possible to make it work.

Got to be worth asking rather than turning it down! The worst they can do is say no and you are in the same position as you are now.

backtowork2015 · 28/01/2017 22:10

5 days 7-6, ouch! Do you think you'll have the opportunity to request flexible working or working from home sometimes once you have a foot in the door?

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 22:10

I already asked and they already said no although the HR person said I could apply for part time after 6 months, but of course no guarantees

OP posts:
GarrulousGrimoire · 28/01/2017 22:12

Hmmmm I wouldn't do it then.

bumsexatthebingo · 28/01/2017 22:13

Same pay and you have to leave before your child wakes? I'd keep looking if I was you.

Itsallabitcrazyhere · 28/01/2017 22:14

I would advise you really test the commute. I technically work an hour from home. The reality is that unless I'm out the door at 6am, I can sit in traffic for 2h+ most days. There's also a very strong work long hours culture which is hard for me to break in a senior position. I'm out of the house for 13 hours a day most of the time. I wouldn't have taken the role if I had known.

If you are having doubts now, think hard before accepting.

Googlebabe · 28/01/2017 22:28

Why did you apply in the first place then?

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 22:34

I applied because I've been feeling down about my current job, morale is really low, and I work in a specialist area so this is only the second job that's been advertised in my field in the past 6 months. I applied for the other job when it came up back in July and got through to the final round but then didn't get that one.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2017 22:34

If you post on here wondering whether to apply the advice is usually to go for it and you can work out the details or change your mind later on.

YetAnotherElsa · 28/01/2017 22:37

Exactly! I wanted some options so I could see if it was right to move on or not

OP posts:
ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 28/01/2017 22:38

7 till 6 on an industrial estate is my idea of hell.

But if your job makes you happy then go for it.

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