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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Diet Coke at a party?

517 replies

early30smum · 28/01/2017 18:50

DD (7) has just got back from a party. The only drinks put out for the kids were Diet Coke! She did get some water in the end, but the drink provided for each child was a mini can of Diet Coke!

AIBU to think this is a bit weird/uneccesary for a birthday party of 7-8 yr olds?

OP posts:
mumofblueeyes · 29/01/2017 18:20

I really wouldn't worry - the mini cans are TINY and the amount of any baddies entering the body will be totally minimal. You only get a few sips. I never quite know where it goes wrong between the gasp horror of a mini Diet Coke at a party and Secondary School. In the very pleasant school I work in loads of kids walk in with an energy drink and then head for the coffee machine - yes, even available to Year 7. A mini can of Diet Coke for a treat pales into insignificance.........

PrinceHansOfTheTescoAisles · 29/01/2017 18:20

I'm not That Parent at all ...my kids have loads of sugar but my 7yo still hasn't had fizzy drinks or caffeine so I would find it an odd choice. I gave up diet coke as it was giving me weird stomach aches and it was a rough withdrawal so i think it's pretty addictive. Not saying that one mini can would have any effect at all but it wouldn't be a drink I'd be super keen starting my kids on. I also don't find it very hydrating

neweymcnewname · 29/01/2017 18:20

Diet Coke is vile and I'd use it to clean the toilet if someone brought it to a party I was hosting.

So you'd feel you were a better person than someone who generously brought a drink to you party (that they presumably enjoyed) , because you wouldn't serve it at all. Do you not see how rude that would be?

And can you and all the other posters who have said 'it tastes awful' not grasp that for any food or drink, there are people who like them, and people who don't - it's not 'vile', you don't personally enjoy it. If no one likes such things they would not be on sale, obviously.

Floggingmolly · 29/01/2017 18:26

You'd have a word with the parents, Sparkly?? If I was said parent and you'd just critiqued my party table and found it wanting; you'd be getting a few choice words in return.
Have a word, indeed Hmm

slummamumma · 29/01/2017 18:31

umm, i'd rather they kept my DS for months a while after giving him caffeine!

TheMysteriousJackelope · 29/01/2017 18:31

It is odd. Every party I have been to the hosts have provided water as at least one alternative to soda, even adult parties. Plenty of parents don't let their children drink fizzy drinks.

No I wouldn't complain to the parents about it, but I'd be sending a bottle of water with my child to future parties in case this is becoming the norm in your area.

I let DD drink coffee from an early age but not soda. Meanwhile my friends let their children drink soda but not coffee. I can only imagine if they had shown up at a party to be confronted by tiny cups of coffee for their children as the only option for drinks.

CurlyMango · 29/01/2017 18:34

That's weird. Ok of a choice but just Diet Coke is odd. Mine wouldn't touch it.

Saz41 · 29/01/2017 18:38

There would have been loads of additives/preservatives and chemicals in the party food, so I wouldn't have been bothered about what they drank. It seems to be group hysteria over nowt.

Giddyaunt18 · 29/01/2017 18:38

I don't see a problem. It's a party so treats are ok imo. I presume there was a tap for water?

ChocolateWombat · 29/01/2017 18:38

When you are a guest at a party, surely you just accept that the host gets to choose what is offered.
I understand that some parents on this thread don't give their kids fizzy drinks and wouldn't offer them if they were the hosts, but isn't the point that they weren't the hosts this time.
If you aren't prepared for your children to be offered things which might be different to those you would give, then it's best not to let them go to parties.....because,mclearly you cannot control what others offer.

I think it is a bit sad that people get so aggravated by this.....it's a loss of perspective. This was one party and one mini can of drink and all of the children have tongues in their heads and could ask for water if they didn't like coke.....and I expect many did. It was a one-off event, not a school pushing fizz every day. In fact, schools DO push sugary, fatty puddings most days and no-one seems to create a big fuss about that.

I think people are being too precious, when they can't cope with a 7 year old being given an unhealthy treat as a one-off. It's time to gain some perspective, recognise that hosts can and should be able to choose what to offer without having to explain themselves and that if children eat or drink something you wouldn't offer at home, it's not a big deal. Part of children growing up is them experiencing things that are different to inside the home. 7 year olds are not 3 year olds and parents need to be willing to accept that they will and do experience some food and drink items (plus other things) they might not choose.......parents need to accept and get used to it.

Giddyaunt18 · 29/01/2017 18:41

My mum never bought fizzy drinks for us at home but they were allowed at parties. I'm the same; they don't get bought with weekly shop but they do at birthdays, Christmas etc. Wait till they start drinking alcohol, you'll wish a tiny coke was all you had to worry about!!

slummamumma · 29/01/2017 18:46

a caffeinated drink is not a "little treat" i'd be furious and peeling my DS off the ceiling. He would then have suffered today as he would be unable to sleep. Fine at a later age but in my opinion, 7 is too young

Ghanagirl · 29/01/2017 18:49

OP I think it's extremely strange to only offer diet kids to under 10's!
Its caffeine plus the label "diet"
I'm not precious with my 9 year old twins (now) but caffeine and diet drinks completely rubbish!!

Floggingmolly · 29/01/2017 18:50

It's a minuscule can, slumma. There's about two tablespoons in it. Ffs!

Juliammy · 29/01/2017 18:50

YANBU! I don't understand why you would give children fizzy drinks (especially coke) at all - only option or not.

ChocolateWombat · 29/01/2017 18:53

This threadhighlights helicopter parenting to me.

It's an obsessive interest in every little detail of a child's life and desire to control every aspect. When we have babies and toddlers, we can and do control pretty much everything (less so if they are in daycare) but as they grow up, it is important to increasingly be able to back off and not be obsessed with control.

If you cannot cope with a range of drinks or food being offered, then you are a control freak. If you feel anxious or annoyed or upset about a small can of coke, or a cheese string, or a jam sandwich on white bread, or a lolly that will stay in the child's mouth for 10 minutes attaching sugar to their teeth, or a bag of sweets......at a one-off event, then it's important to acknowledge yourself as a control freak. It's important to acknowledge that it's actually your problem and not that of the hosting parent. And more important, it's important to acknowledge the effect such control freakery has on your kids....that it can stop them having the chance to grow up, try things and make some choices for themselves over the little things.

All kids need to learn that not everyone does things the same way they are done in their own homes. They need to learn that as guests we should smile and try the food and drink we are offered, but it's also good to learn to speak up and ask for something simple like water if we need to. Children's parties and on play dates are the ideal opportunities to start seeing that people do different things and that they won't always exist within their own homes, but in a bigger world. Embrace the difference, do t abhor it!

Giddyaunt18 · 29/01/2017 18:54

chocolate Absobloodylutely that!

Juliammy · 29/01/2017 18:58

Floggingmolly, it's a lot for a child who never has it. It would make me (an adult) hyper as I don't drink it.

Foxesarefriends · 29/01/2017 19:02

So you'd feel you were a better person than someone who generously brought a drink to you party (that they presumably enjoyed) , because you wouldn't serve it at all. Do you not see how rude that would be?

Exactly, such a whiff of superiority from some posters.
I feel like joining in the competitive success stories and including schools, exam results, lack of drug taking and fabulous parental careers.

Because it would not bother me one bit, my dc are brought up to be polite, non judgmental and kind.
They would not even pass comment.

All round high fives to me.

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 29/01/2017 19:07

'a caffeinated drink is not a "little treat" i'd be furious and peeling my DS off the ceiling. He would then have suffered today as he would be unable to sleep.'

Goodness. Who knew 200 millilitres of Diet Coke could wreak such havoc...

SoupDragon · 29/01/2017 19:08

...and peeling my DS off the ceiling. He would then have suffered today as he would be unable to sleep

The only way you'd know that is if you'd tried it before.

ChocolateWombat · 29/01/2017 19:09

I suspect that the objectors all have young children and have a bit of PFB syndrome - precious firstborn.

The extreme agitation that I hear from parents on here over a drink of squash at the Reception class party, a glass of coke at the 7 year olds party, the processed food offered by a parent on a play date ......it all seems to come from parents of PFB.

I just wonder WHEN parents will start allowing hosts to......host, and accepting that not everyone does things the same way as we do......and that if they have stuff we don't like, unless it's crack cocainne, or a glass of gin, if it's very occasional, then it isn't a problem.

Kids who have never been allowed to taste a drop of coke whilst in primary school and who have been told of its evils, often develop a strange fascination with it, in the same way 18 year olds who have never been allowed a sip of alcohol become obsessed with drinking. There's a big difference between drinking gallons of coke every day and a small can once in a blue moon. Perhaps they even will find they do t like it.....and that fascination which can come from banned stuff will be lost.

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 29/01/2017 19:10

'some of her friends have the occasional lemonade, but don't know any who drink Diet Coke, full of caffeine, and that's early high school years!'

High school age kids and none of them drink tea or coffee?

hoddtastic · 29/01/2017 19:11

i have 3, eldest is an adult now, youngest is 7, so no, not really PFB at all, quite the opposite.

Juliammy · 29/01/2017 19:12

Chocolate, from only a few sentences you identified OPs parenting style, personal issues, life problems, etc. :)))))) Lucky OP you didn't charge her at the end for your consultation.

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