To have kept my maiden name?

[MsDF]

Not the biggest issue in the world I know. So when I got married I kept my surname, I had always intended to, my husband was completely fine with it and if anything encouraged it. However our 6 year old son has told us he's been getting comments at school about it since it came to light, has been told it means either we're not really married or I'm not his real mum by other kids and even a teacher told him it was "strange" (which I think is out of order). It is upsetting him, though, and he asked me why I don't have the same surname as him, and when I explained he asked if it was too late for me to change it.

I always wanted to keep my surname as it's part of who I am and I always found it a bit of a sexist tradition, but if it's upsetting my son is it horrible of me to keep it just for my own pride? I already get called "Mrs hisname" at some functions and on some letters anyway!

ems137 I had similar when I became pregnant, comments like "you'll have to change it now surely" from one or two people. It really shouldn't be so surprising women might keep our surnames in this day and age...

I have different surname to my husband as he didn't want to change his name (eg merged or double-barrelled or something we picked together). I'm not going to be the only one in the marriage changing my name so it was either both of us or neither of us.

I don't see why you should change it now if you've already made your choice. Feminist principles are important to teach to the next generation.

That said, if your son wants to change his name to yours or use a double-barrelled version, maybe that could work for him.

I was being a bit flippant, of course the hassle wasn't the only reason for keeping my name it was also for professional reasons. But I'm pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and I don't mind if people refer to me as "Mrs DH" (objectively, his name sounds nicer than mine and is easier to spell, which is why we agreed that the DCs would have his name.)

Think you should have a word with the teacher, though. She needs to have a think about how her off the cuff comments are affecting the children she teaches. And if she really thinks your situation is strange she needs a gentle nudge into the real world.

I'm surprised at 6 yrs the kids even care.

I am in Australia and I would say maybe 60pct of the mothers have different surnames to the kids at our school. No idea whether they are married , but some I know are and chose to keep their original name (as I did).

The kids really don't care- unless we are trying to look someone up and can't remember the mother's last name - but that is rare.