AIBU to hate my personality

[SerialNameChanging]

NC'd as I'm quite frankly a bit embarrassed

I don't know how to change my personality, I have one trait that is constantly bringing me down and making me feel like a dick. it's my constant jealousy and envy.

I don't know how to be genuinely happy for people that aren't my family. I have quite a lot of friends and when one of them has some kind of big fantastic news i.e pregnancy, engagement, lost weight, won money my first reaction is to congratulate them and play the part of a happy friend but on the inside I'm sick with envy. I'm not well off and I'd love to win money, my relationship is great but I would love to get engaged, I'm in the middle of losing weight but it's going SO slowly everyone around me is doing the same diet and dropping lbs... I just feel like a constant misery guts.

I realise this makes me a pretty horrible person but I just don't know how to change it. Im not jealous of anything else but the things I feel I'm lacking.. my relationship is fantastic and I really do have a great life... I just don't know how to get rid of this shitty trait.

It comes from being unhappy with your own life. Work on those things and you will find being jealous of others will ebb away.

I know someone who is frequently jealous. She's quite overt with it tbh as she is pretty sneering and makes unwarrented comments. It's quite waring to be on the recieving end or to hear her say something bitchy about someone else. Concentrate on yourself and what you do have and stop concerning and comparing yourself with what others have. There is always someone richer, prettier, slimmer, cleverer than you so it's pointless to compare.

I'm definitely not overt with it. I always try very hard to be supportive and happy for my friends as I'm aware of how I'd look if I wasn't and I hate the idea of people looking at me like a spiteful jealous cow.

I've certainly got a lot to work on, comparing my life to other peoples has always been something I struggle without

Hmmmm I would say the same but maybe not those emotions. I hate it, it's so hard to change yourself. Always I think it's worse when you know your flaws if that makes sense in a way.

Its born of basic insecurity this dreadful envy that you have. I've come across it many , many times over the years and mostly from people who get some sort of thrill from making sneery or critical remarks about others.
At least you don't do that.
There's a lot of dissatisfaction in very many people these days and this makes them boring, tedious to be around in the main. Most of it is due to a lack of backbone, resilience, character, sense of humour and basic gratitude for what they do have instead of what they don't. And this combination does lead to a persistent negativity in certain people that can drain the life out of you.
Personally, I avoid the 'type', like the plague. They bring nothing to my life and I'm not prepared to be a passive spectator in theirs.
Unless you change your view of the world, you may find (once the mask of envy slips as it will one day...) others avoiding you too.
Read up on mindfulness. Practise being grateful for what you do have and every day, count your considerable blessings.

Can anyone recommend anything to help practice this mindfulness?

I honestly feel so rotten that I'm like this I want to change it more than anything. It's constantly making me feel like shit that I'm like this I hate it