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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask free childcare not to let DD nap on sofa

41 replies

amy85 · 27/01/2017 12:29

Aibu to ask someone (will call her B) who is providing me free childcare (usually one day a week completely their choice) to not cuddle DD to sleep/let DD nap on the sofa when she had a travel cot where she used to put her to nap?

B usually only has DD 1 day a week but this week she had her 1 day and 2 mornings so that's 4 naps where she has been cuddled/put on the sofa...DD is now refusing to nap in the cot.

Part of me thinks I shouldn't ask as she is giving me free childcare but I am now 30 mintues and counting into trying to get DD to nap in her cot 😔

OP posts:
splendide · 27/01/2017 13:11

It depends on your relationship with them.

I would ask my mum not to if it was messing with DS' bedtime. I wouldn't ask my MiL - not because she's horrible, I just wouldn't feel I know her well enough.

PuppyMouse · 27/01/2017 13:11

My DD has only just given up naps at 3 and I've always been a bit precious about routine and putting her in cot to nap.

If I was you I would grovelingly say I was really struggling to get her to settle in her cot and could they possibly help by making sure she only naps in cot if poss. But realise not everyone is this anal and it's important not to offend B.

Jeanstootight · 27/01/2017 13:13

They are doing you a favour. If you don't make it easy for them you might find yourself in the position of having to put your hand in your pocket. At 15 months I'd be trying to get my DC to be as flexible re naps as possible tbh.

splendide · 27/01/2017 13:13

This is another issue really but people saying you can control this stuff if you're paying for it is not my experience!

I am very very happy with DS' nursery (he does 2 days a week) but they completely ignored my lovingly (and neurotically) detailed schedule for him and did what they wanted.

SomethingBorrowed · 27/01/2017 13:21

I understand it is annoying, but personally I would let it go, and just tell DD that with mummy she naps in her cot even though with B she naps somewhere else.
Mine always napped in the buggy with our nanny but always in the cot with me. I truly believe children understand there are different rules with different persons.

GizmoFrisby · 27/01/2017 13:27

My dd is 20 months and won't fall asleep in her cot in the day. She naps on sofa and I place her in her cot. At night she falls asleep in her cot no problem. Is it really that much of an issue? If so put her in nursery.

Ponderingprivately · 27/01/2017 13:40

It can be frustrating if it's affecting your naps the rest of the week, but as it's free childcare I think you have to suck it up or pay for childcare instead. FWIW by the time both of my dc got to 15-18 months I let them nap anywhere, partly because neither of them ever needed masses of day sleep, and partly because it makes things more flexible for getting out and about. It's not necessarily a bad thing if they can sleep in different places.

Cindy34 · 27/01/2017 13:44

How about starting with a compromise... travel cot next to the sofa. Then DD can be in the travel cot and be easily seen, easily tended to if not self settling.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 27/01/2017 13:49

You are able to ask but equally they would then be within their rights to then remove the FREE childcare.

tiggytape · 27/01/2017 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan · 27/01/2017 13:56

You can ask. But this isn't a paid employee. It's someone doing you an enormous favour. If you start insisting on conditions you may find you end up having to find paid childcare.

NerrSnerr · 27/01/2017 14:02

I agree with PP, with free childcare it's tough because they're doing you a favour so if it's easier for them I would do my best to go with it.

SomethingBorrowed · 27/01/2017 14:02

If you ask, make sure to say it is because it causes difficulties for you, but that you are not criticizing what they are doing/questioning their judgment.

Original poster
amy85 · 27/01/2017 14:12

Thank you for all your opinions...Might casually bring up DD being a nightmare at naptime for me and see what she says

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 27/01/2017 14:24

I think children nap differently for different people and different locations. DD is 13 months and is in nursery 3 days a week. At nursery she has 2 short naps, sometimes 3. At home she has one nap after lunch for up to 3 hours.
It's surprising that one day can throw the routine off so much but I'm sure B is doing her best.

Jinxxx · 27/01/2017 14:35

If your DD is taking time or objecting to going down in the cot, but is happy to nap on the sofa, your carer is obviously going to be inclined to go with what works for her, and quite possibly what then frees her up to get done whatever else she needs to get on with. If my DSis said DN needs to sleep upstairs, however long it takes or however many attempts it takes you to get him down, she'd be looking for paid childcare. There is simply a limit to what level of inconvenience you can impose on someone doing you a favour. If it was good enough for my own children, well they turned out all right.

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