To ask when yours slept through the night?

[blue2014]

And did you sleep train?

First DS is 7 weeks so not expecting better sleep just yet but I've become obsessed with the sleep board which terrines me. Is bad sleep the norm or can you give me hope?

Yeah, right. Cuddling your newborn. What nonsense

Didn't sleep train but had the same routine, at 6pm it was CBeebies in the bath ground, time on mat. Change nappy, turn the lights down, get ready for a feed about 6:30/6:45, then rocked to sleep in the bouncy chair facing us. Then stayed in the bouncy chair till we went to bed. Then as toddlers, it would be bed at 7pm, routine before hand as normal, again no issues.
Both slept through from about 6 weeks with one feed in the night. They slept with us for 6/9 months, in our room. I think if you're BF they can smell you so that's reassuring. I've seen some good ideas like weighted gloves that have the parents scent on, as in you have it in bed with you for a week, then place it on DC's tummy. That looks quite good.
If you've got a bad sleeper then maybe adopt a similar routine where they're downstairs with you until 6 months. To be honest the bouncy chairs being rocked by foot never failed. You need a lot of patience, that's a given.
Sleep training depends on what you want as a parent. Also what you believe. Some totally disagree with it, others swear by it. Your child, your choice. Baby wearing is a lot trendier now, so you could wear baby close to you for bonding time which theoretically should calm them.
We can read all the books, from all the experts in the world. But our babies and children are individuals, so there isn't a guaranteed formula. You can try lavender, they have products with lavender in aimed at bedtime. You can try baby massage, just look on YouTube for the basics and go from there.
If you've got a reflux/colicky baby, they'll benefit being more upright, so the sling would be beneficial there. Also raise the mattress in their bed, as reflux isn't just after a feed, you can get it anytime. Depending on how you sleep, books under top end of cot, or rolled up towel under top of mattress. The same applies if baby has a cold or cough. Keep them tilted.
I think having something close that smells of you is a definite winner. Look at daytime naps, so after lunch they'd go down for a sleep in pram. Never waking later than 3pm as this will surely impact a sleeping pattern. I'm feeling all broody again, you'll get me shot
Hope this helps.

So what did you do cath when they woke at night if you didn't cuddle them??

I picked them up, fed them, and put them back down to sleep, which they did. All in the dark. My absolute priority was getting a full night's sleep as soon as possible, and when my oldest was a baby, three months was the time when babies were 'supposed' to sleep through. I was not unusual in my baby groups etc.

I found that it helped to reframe sleep not aiming for this ideal of putting them down and not hearing a peep until morning but thinking of things in terms of the current situation and how to improve that.

I think what helped is that I went to bed at a normal time on a Friday night, went into labour around 2am and then was not able to sleep, at all, until DS was born at 7am on Sunday. So when he was born, having an hour or two to sleep was absolutely amazing! Then every longer stretch was like a gift. And that helped, not having expectations or aims really.

I found there were also several points which came much earlier than sleeping through which were turning points or helpful. The first is when you don't have to do so much at night to resettle them. So when I stopped changing nappies at night. For us as well I used a bedside cot so once we had sleep-breastfeeding sorted and then again when he could roll over to me himself those were also great boosts in the quality of sleep I was getting. (There were periods interspersed when he needed walking around and jiggling in the night to resettle, but all were temporary, so don't feel like you've broken everything if this happens to you!)

The second point was when there was typically only one "split" in each chunk of sleep. When I say chunk here I mean to separate sleep into two parts. The first is the evening when you put them upstairs to sleep alone but before you go to bed yourself, so their wakings are interrupting your evening. And the second is the part where you're trying to sleep too, so their wakings are interrupting your sleep. Getting down to one split in each of these chunks was nice.

Thirdly when you eliminate the splits entirely and just have one wake up around the time you go to bed, or do a dream feed when you go to bed. That was great for me and almost as good as sleeping through. I should note that when DS was in this stage, he did still wake up at some point early in the morning and would usually come into bed for a cuddle. But I don't count that as not sleeping through, because some toddlers do this well into being three or four years old.

Unfortunately I don't have any records of when DS hit any of these particular stages! I know he was over two when he was regularly sleeping 12 hours. But I know that his sleep was disrupted by his parents breaking up and us moving out when he was one, so I don't think you can take this as representative. I just wanted to provide some hope and interim goals which can help everything seem less of a slog :)

sleeping in their own rooms from day 1

This hugely increases the SIDS risk so is really terrible and quite irresponsible advice.

I hated sharing a room with ds but he stayed there til he was 6 months per the guidelines.

"sleeping in their own rooms from day 1" This hugely increases the SIDS risk so is really terrible and quite irresponsible advice.

Absolutely.

DD started sleeping through at 3 years old and is still a bad sleeper

DS is 2. He slept through for about 9/10 months from age 8 months or so. Then broke after that and wakes every night.

Sleeping in their nursery does appear to increase risk of SIDS but not 'hugely' 114 babies compared to 85 roughly 5:4 - but still better to have them with you for first first six months.

DS1 slept 7-7 from 13 weeks. He'd been sleeping from 7-7 with a feed when we went to bed from about 7 weeks.

DS2 slept through from feed at our bed time to 7 at 7 months, so a bit longer!

I am also a big believer in routine - feed baby as much as possible all day, nighttime feeds quiet & in dark (but not without cuddles!). I always fed them as soon as they woke,no sleep training as such.

I was v lucky.

7 weeks and 12 weeks. No training - pure luck.

My DS is 13 weeks and very gradually moving towards 2 night wakings rather than 3-4. He seems to be a bit different to some of the other night wakers though in that he actually self settles very well - he wakes because he's hungry and goes straight back to sleep after his milk, he's often asleep before I've finished burping him!

Meant to add - I find the sleep boards terrifying too! But I think there are some big differences between mumsnet and the people I know in real life - everyone I know in real life had their babies sleeping through by 9 months, except for one couple who ended up hiring a sleep consultant for their toddler. I don't know anyone who would cheerfully put up with a 5 year old coming into their bed every night. (Similarly, no-one on mumsnet uses paid babysitters - just family - but somehow sites like sitters are in business...)

Just to be clear, I am not a monster, I did cuddle when feeding. My reference to 'snuggly cuddles' was aimed at parents (usually on the sleep board!) who are supposedly desperate to get some sleep but say are usually mollified by someone who says they enjoy the snuggly cuddles etc during the night!

I don't have children, but I myself didn't sleep through consistently until I started reception when I was not far off 5 years old . But I have Asperger's Syndrome and have always had trouble sleeping even now and as far back as I can remember so maybe they are linked.

8 months and 4 months. 8 months ds1 was when I gave up breast feeding and swapped to formula. 4 months was ds2 who was bottle fed from about 6 weeks as I was in hospital. He had colic and that went at about 4 months and he suddenly slept through.

I'd also encourage children sharing rooms. Mine shared from ds2 being 6 months. ds1 was 2.5. They were both in cots. Once I heard in the late evening ds2 stirring and ds1 telling him in baby talk that it was night time. I don't know how much this happened, but they did seem to settle each other. In the morning they would chatter to each other for a bit before waking us, once they were in beds they would often play quite a while.

My eldest pretty much slept through the night from bringing her home from the hospital. She has always loved her sleep - even at nearly 10 she still likes 12hrs a night.

My youngest didn't sleep through the night consistently till she was nearly 4. She had medical issues when she was born that didn't get fully sorted till she was 6 months old and I do believe that at the age when babies are learning to sleep and self sooth she was too poorly so never learned how to as she was in too much discomfort. She'd wake between every 30mins - 2hrs from birth till nearly 2 then we got it to twice a night then once and eventually she just started sleeping through.

Etanny was your eldest bf or ff?

Ds - 11 months
Dd - 14 months
No sleep training

DS was 13 months.
DD was 10 monts.

Up until then we had proper night wakings, always at least two or three times. Now they mostly love their sleep.

Also, no sleep training.

4 years old! It's amazing how long you can go without sleep when you're in the habit but a year later I can't do even one wake up a night without feeling like death. I'm so so glad it's all over! Never again!!

Mine did 12 hours from about 8/9 months. I was very lucky.

He's now 21 months and is still a good sleeper but does go through phases of screaming out in the night which scares to crap out of me! But he's easy enough to settle back down again.

14 months here.

DS - 10 months and at nearly 3 he still has the odd night where he wakes.

Twins - 5 and 6 months - didn't do anything different. They sleep soundly and sleep through all sorts of noise, not sure if that's because they are used to noise being in a room together.