Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this PE teacher unreasonable about periods

706 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/01/2017 21:32

DD(15) is doing GCSE PE. Part of this involves 'personal survival' which takes place in local swimming pool.

The school obv need to book this, can't just turn up, but DD queried what would happen if some of the girls had their period at the time. PE teacher (female) replied that they'd obviously have to use a tampon, they can't miss it, can't arrange another day. A few girls told her they didn't use/get on with tampons and she got annoyed saying they'd have to get on with it on the day as no other option.

OP posts:
QueenOfTheSardines · 28/01/2017 18:11

bloodyteenagers so there are ways but it's down to individual schools to "think outside the box" and probably make special arrangements with the exam board.

This is back to front - the exam board should be thinking "GCSE PE should be accessible and we have a problem with takeup for PE for girls. Girls have periods - this can make things difficult for the swimming component. Hmm. Maybe we should extend our filmed submissions allowance to take into account the fact that some girls will not be able to take their exam on the set day because of their period" TADA!

If there was a will to move towards a society where women are girls were normal people rather than trying to shoehorn us into institutions and everything set up for men, things would be immensely better. This stuff is part of the reason women are seen as "weak" isn't it - because we can't always perform in systems that are not designed to fit us.

meditrina · 28/01/2017 18:13

OCR appear to require the filming of the swimming assessment, not filmed evidence instead of assessment.

The spec lays down dates for submission of assessment info, but I haven't found if there is a window within which the assessment must take place. Anyone know?

Kerala2712 · 28/01/2017 18:16

Teacher being unreasonable- some of you being unreasonable. Suspect teacher would be more reasonable is parents spoke to her and offered some of the ideas here- maybe she just thought girls trying to pull a fast one? Of course 15 year olds (who are too young to legally be having sex and therefore need to be assumed to be anatomically incapable of using tampons i would have thought, although it isn't a 100% rule) shouldn't be forced to use them. They should be taking responsibility for their education and only presenting it as a problem if it really is one though. Time for mums to step in i think...

bloodyteenagers · 28/01/2017 18:22

I'm not saying it's right. Far from it. The
Boards should realise females bleed and
make allowances. It shouldn't be down to schools to have to think outside boxes.
But to make changes schools need support and what we have seen is parents would rather take the attitude of suck it up, force a tampon. Rather than questioning it and saying hang on a minute how about doing x instead.

QueenOfTheSardines · 28/01/2017 18:26

I didn't think you were saying it's right :) I agree that the boards and schools need to start thinking a bit more inclusively given that 50% of population are girls and govts etc are keen to get them doing more sport. They could be seen as innovators, make it a real selling point for their board. The schools having to manage this is a nightmare - they're stuck in the middle. Telling girls they have to stick things up their vaginas when they don't want to for ANY reason is not the answer.

Reality16 · 28/01/2017 18:26

of course 15 year olds (who are too young to legally be having sex and therefore need to be assumed to be anatomically incapable of using tampons i would have thought, although it isn't a 100% rule I seriously despair at some people. While I don't think anyone should be told they HAVE to do anything it is quite bizarre to think anyone who has not had intercourse is anatomically incapable of using a tampon Confused

CancellyMcChequeface · 28/01/2017 18:46

Some of the attitudes on this thread are appalling. No woman or girl should be pressured to insert anything into her vagina, regardless of whether or not other people do it all the time, think it's no big deal, etc.

It makes me glad I went to a religious school where it was assumed girls wouldn't use tampons (yes, there are lots of issues with that from a feminist perspective, but in this particular circumstance it worked in our favour.) I missed a year 9 swimming assessment because of my period. I and the other girls who missed it for any reason had to do a catch-up session after school two weeks later. If, as has been said upthread, GCSE PE assessments can be filmed, there's no reason other schools can't arrange something similar. Yes, it might be inconvenient for the PE staff, but the alternatives are all much worse.

I've never used tampons. I've never tried - I probably could if I wanted to, but I'm comfortable with the pads I use and don't see any reason to change. I'd have a few choice words for anyone who told me that I had to. For teenage girls, many of whom may be less comfortable with their bodies and/or have never had sex, insisting on it is even more objectionable. No doubt many of them use tampons all the time, but that's not an excuse to pressure those who can't or don't want to.

Livia Flowers I've read most of the thread and just wanted to say I'm really sorry for what happened to you.

Nena1 · 28/01/2017 18:51

AndShe'sGone

you are lucky. I bleed in the bath and pass clots. I can't even get out of the shower without quickly dressing as I leak.

I could never go swimming with nothing in.

HorridHenryrule · 28/01/2017 18:53

She doesn't have to use a tampon there is another device that she can stick up their. It's not toxic I think it's made of plastic I will try to get the name for you. I can not see how she would get out of it.

HorridHenryrule · 28/01/2017 19:00

I found a few menstrual cup, a sponge and waterproof pants for use when bleeding is light.

newdaddie · 28/01/2017 19:15

YANBU the P.E. teacher is an a$$hole.

I'm not a teacher or a girl (teenage or otherwise) so maybe I'm lacking the necessary perspective to understand.

But I do manage projects and arrange sessions in the 'real world' and I always have to make sure there are at least 3 sessions. The first one, a free of charge second session usually 2 weeks later for people with reasonable excuses (such as Mr/Ms Importantface who is on a conference or holiday) and a third premium charged session if you really cba with the 'free' sessions. Special arrangements are usually made for people on long term leave sick/maternity/adoption etc.

So I'm not sure what 'life lesson' the PE teacher is offering other than there are bullies in positions of authority who will make unreasonable demands in order to satisfy their own sadistic power trips.

Wait...

Actually the P.E. teacher is not being unreasonable and is preparing the girls for careers in the public sector. Wink

Deejoda · 28/01/2017 19:33

The PE teacher is being unreasonable. No one has a right to tell a girl to shove a tampon into her vagina...this is 21st century Britain, not Russia (who just declassified domestic violence as a criminal offence). Crazy world!

Kerala2712 · 28/01/2017 19:34

Reality16 - I didnt say that- I said essentially that for legal and official purposes it should be assumed. I am a doctor and well aware that 75% of girls hymens are perforate by the age of 15 especially more active ones- I was pointing out the principle should be based on the 25% whose are imperforate and therefore ARE anatomically incapable. Many other 15 year olds can't use tampons even if their hymen is not intact, completely reasonably and normally hence I said it wasn't a 100% rule. Perhaps I should have explained better. Although I suspect we agree on the basic premise that the teacher is in the wrong.

bloodyteenagers · 28/01/2017 19:40

It's not about the tampon HorridHenry, it's about being told to insert something when you don't want to. Regardless of what it is we should have autonomy over our bodies, and this should include the very small part of PE.

I also don't know what life lesson this is supposed to serve. But maybe I work somewhere that realises we are humans and at times, we cannot do things for various reasons. Whether it's not getting in the pool because of menstruation or a crick in the neck, most employers are usually reasonable and understand shit happens. We aren't machines.

Reality16 · 28/01/2017 19:41

Reality16 - I didnt say that. Hahaha

You DID say that. I copied and pasted it Confused also it is still there in the post where you said it Hmm

Offred · 28/01/2017 19:46

Well reality I think you know that what she actually meant was people should never expect a 15 year old child to use tampons, that's a matter for the individual child to decide, and that some actually physically can't.

Maybe she worded it slightly less clearly than she could have but your reading of it as though she said 15 year olds physically can't use tampons is more than a little unreasonable, as is the glibness.

NEScribe · 28/01/2017 19:51

Oh God - this brings back such awful memories. While at school I was scheduled for my bronze lifesaving award. Day arrived - period started. I had never used a tampon. My big sister gave me one as I left the house and once at school I went to the toilets to try it. I obviously didn't put it in correctly because I was in absolute agony.
Had to ask to be sent home ill - claimed I felt sick - because I was so shy I couldn't even say the word "period" to a teacher.
Had hoped things might have improved in the past 30 years!

Italiangreyhound · 28/01/2017 19:54

Trifleorbust Bow out if you wish to but really curious to know why a girl should never be asked for a note to excuse her from PE. My daughter quite likes PE!

Offred I am so sorry to hear that.

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 28/01/2017 19:54

I was psychologically incapable of using tampons until well past school age so I'd have had to drop out. YANBU.

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 19:55

Italiangreyhound: I don't get you, sorry.

Italiangreyhound · 28/01/2017 19:59

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer "keep getting dismissed"

Take it higher and explain you are being dismissed.

kidshealth.org/en/teens/pcos.html

"If PCOS is not treated properly, it can put a girl at risk for lots of problems. Girls with PCOS are more likely to have infertility, excessive hair growth, acne, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, abnormal bleeding from the uterus, and cancer."

I am really sorry to post that and sincerely hope your dd does not have it. I have two friends with it and both are well and had two children each but it was difficult.

The list of potential issues is long and serious so please take this higher so you and most of all your dd are not dismissed in this fashion!

(PS you may know all this.... and... it never hurts to PUSH politely when angry - the squeeky wheel gets the oil!)

Pringle2628 · 28/01/2017 20:04

I can't believe people can actually go swimming when on there period. I use the tampons for the heaviest periods and I still leak all the time in less than half an hour I use tampons and pads everyday of my period. I have been to the gynocologist on numerous occasions and always told it's normal. I couldn't bare the embarrassment of going swimming so I as a mother would never dream of letting a child be put through it.

Italiangreyhound · 28/01/2017 20:08

Trifle why do girls have to produce a note to say they will miss PE? These are 15 year old young adults no. Can they not take a book to the class and say I cannot do PE today and I will be reading my book?

If they are lying who cares, they are swindling themselves out of the joy of swimming! If it happens a lot then I would want to talk to the parents. If it happens occasionally, say once every couple of months I would assume PERIOD! I would not need a note from Mrs Patterson to say my daughter is a girl, she has periods, she bleeds, it hurts a lot, she cannot swim or jump around a gym!

Italiangreyhound · 28/01/2017 20:09

young women, not adults but almost!

Italiangreyhound · 28/01/2017 20:10

Sorry Trifle I realise my earlier sentence did no make sense, I meant ... why a girl should always be asked for a note to excuse her from PE