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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is this PE teacher unreasonable about periods

706 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/01/2017 21:32

DD(15) is doing GCSE PE. Part of this involves 'personal survival' which takes place in local swimming pool.

The school obv need to book this, can't just turn up, but DD queried what would happen if some of the girls had their period at the time. PE teacher (female) replied that they'd obviously have to use a tampon, they can't miss it, can't arrange another day. A few girls told her they didn't use/get on with tampons and she got annoyed saying they'd have to get on with it on the day as no other option.

OP posts:

Katy07 · 27/01/2017 10:43

Girl has period, girl has survival swim, solution is girl uses tampons or takes pill or misses out. Its not about the amount of people it's about the individual and how they are going to deal with their life problems.
No, it's about an individual using their brain and realising that they can make a potentially difficult situation easier for other people as well as them. Look at a different example - you have a school where the entrances all involve a step. You have a few students in wheelchairs. You could say to them "well you can either learn to get your wheelchair over the step (and we don't care how difficult it is, just suck it up) or you can stay outside in the cold and be excluded' - that would be your approach to dealing with their life problems. Mine would be installing ramps so that more people could participate. I think I prefer my approach...

FairyAnn · 27/01/2017 10:45

There is a condition called vaginismus which means a woman would not be able to wear tampons even if she tried.

There are also women who are not able to use contraceptive pills for medical reasons.

Should these women simply 'suck it up?' I get that the teacher is trying to instill a 'there's always a solution' ethic, but in cases like this, there are going to be women/girls who simply cannot find an alternative option.

Should they then have their grades suffer for something that is completely out of their control?

MissMrsMsXX · 27/01/2017 10:47

Girls who are serious swimmers are probably not sufferers of terrible periods.

ealingwestmum · 27/01/2017 10:49

Girls who are serious swimmers come in all shapes and sizes. And some, do suffer from terrible periods.

MustBeLoopy390 · 27/01/2017 10:53

Laughing away at posters who think bleeding stops in water or pools, periods shouldn't be an issue etc. Want to borrow my uterus one month? I'm sure you'd change your minds. The teacher may bu, but the best thing to do is talk your daughter through the options, and help her make a choice. Tampons/cups/pill don't do much for me tbh so in your daughter's place I'd be missing the swim.

Reality16 · 27/01/2017 10:56

katy07 having your period and being able to control how you deal with that in certain situations is in no why comparable to being fucking disabled.

In this case the girl has choices. A disabled person does not.

slummamumma · 27/01/2017 11:02

missmrsms I am assuming that is a joke?!!

MissMrsMsXX · 27/01/2017 11:09

No it's not a joke. I would imagine, and know two, women who suffer from debilitating periods (like those that make you puke with pain and take time off work/school) wouldn't be serious, as in competitive, swimmers.

Why would it be a joke to suggest if you had a condition that meant you were in excruciating agony you wouldn't choose swimming as a serious sport?

For clarity, I think that if girls say they don't want to do a particular test in the water if they have a period then that is a choice they should be allowed to make.

Katy07 · 27/01/2017 11:20

katy07 having your period and being able to control how you deal with that in certain situations is in no why comparable to being fucking disabled.
When did I say it was? I was trying to explain the theory of coming up with alternatives rather than being expected to just suck it up, and using a different example. Don't try and take offence for the sake of it. Or are you going to now insist that you swim every day regardless of not only having the world's heaviest period AND being in a wheelchair because you just suck it up?
It's very simple. You don't have to 'just suck it up' in life, you can actually use your brain and look for better solutions. Sometimes they'll be better solutions for just you, sometimes they'll benefit others. But telling young girls to 'just suck it up' is basically telling them to put up with any shit life throws at them because they're not allowed to think for themselves!

misblink · 27/01/2017 11:20

For clarity, I think that if girls say they don't want to do a particular test in the water if they have a period then that is a choice they should be allowed to make.

why choose it at GCSE then??

My dd is 17 and a serious swimmer. She has awful periods, they started late, they last a long time and she really suffers with them. She wears a superplus tampon, swims for 45 mins gets out and changes it and gets back in. She is not a victim and won't let it stop her.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 11:22

The disabled analogy is offensive AND inaccurate

Giving people access to a building by putting a ramp up is comparable to allowing girls to circumvent the issue by wearing tampons. But people on here are saying that they should suck it up and be forced to use something inside themselves - and those who can't presumably will be humiliated by having to tell the teacher the reason why.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 11:26

misblink Good for her - however you can't comment on other people's difficulties.

If she had vaginismus (thanks to a PP - I had forgotten the name) then would she still be happy to 'not let it affect her'? When your muscles close, to force anything in is indescribably painful. But perhaps we silly women should just suck it up

dollydaydream114 · 27/01/2017 11:36

I've used tampons since I was about 13, and have always got on fine with them. I agree that periods are a part of life and that, if you possibly can, you should carry on as normal when you're having one.

However: NO woman of ANY age should have to stick ANYTHING up their vagina if they don't want to. Not a tampon, not anything. A PE teacher has absolutely no business telling girls they have to wear tampons and the girls shouldn't have to give any reason for not wanting to wear them.

BlankTVscreen · 27/01/2017 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 11:42

dolly Exactly!

And can someone explain why using pads equates to 'not getting on with your life'? If you can't use tampons as an adult then you don't swim during your period - is that really so horrific that it beats young women having to shove something up their fanjo?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 27/01/2017 11:47

Of course some women and girls can not get on with using tampons

But how can you schedule pe lessons around the periods of girls taking the lessons you can't

I guess the pe teacher can make that threat and some girls who just don't like wearing them and some who use it as an excuse will do the lesson and those that really can't will unfortunately miss out

NotCitrus · 27/01/2017 11:53

Why can't they sort out swimming with the local swimming club or leisure centre, have the entire borough know that there are sessions for survival practice every 6 weeks or so, and if you miss the session planned by your school for whatever reason, then you have to get yourself to a council-run session?

FWIW I had debilitating falling-unconscious-with-pain periods that flooded everywhere as a teen, certainly did bleed in water, didn't swim when I had them, yet was a reasonably competitive swimmer from the amount of practice I did the rest of the time. Though I did also skive lots of PE swimming lessons because they were crap.

thenotsoquiet · 27/01/2017 11:55

Can we please stop all the nonsense about water pressure "blocking" blood flow? Maybe some posters don't notice blood "flowing" in the bath (which could be for various reasons) but it certainly has nothing to do with "water pressure" and many women do flow freely and heavily in water. The lack of basic science understanding is embarrassing.

Yeah they are fiddly at first but it just takes a bit of time.
Don't be so narrow minded. It might be a "bit fiddly" for you but it is extremely painful or physically impossible for some women.

Well, it's either learn to use some kind of internal sanitary product, take drugs or let periods interfere with what you want to do.
I don't "let" my periods (bad enough to put me in hospital and require surgery) interfere in my life, thanks, they do so without my permission. How about we take option c: speak up for menstrual issues, try to de-stigmatise periods, and stop allowing society to be so un-accommodating to women's health?

I fail to see how not using internal sanpro is "letting your period control your life." I have always used pads and using pads has never affected me or changed my life in any way. With the exception of the tiny number of women worldwide who are actually professional competitive swimmers, what kind of sanpro you use doesn't make a big difference. Someone upthread mentioned flight attendants -- why on earth would a flight attendant not be able to do her job if she's wearing a towel? How would anyone ever know?

Can see the sisterhood isn't alive and well on this thread!
I know, it's terrifying the contempt some women have for other women. Women lie about medical issues just to avoid smearing their precious makeup? Women should "suck it up" and go on powerful prescription medication to make life easier for a single school appointment? WT actual F?

Reality16 · 27/01/2017 12:00

When did I say it was? that was the point where you used it as an example

MissMrsMsXX · 27/01/2017 12:00

MrsBlink.

" She wears a superplus tampon, swims for 45 mins gets out and changes it and gets back in. She is not a victim and won't let it stop her."

I'm guessing she doesn't have pain that leaves her puking and practically paralysed, doubled over in pain. One doesn't have to be a victim to experience pain.... goodness me.

JunosRevenge · 27/01/2017 12:02

Do some posters here really think that a teacher should fail a GCSE student because she is unwilling to insert an object into her vagina?

Really???

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/01/2017 12:04

But how can you schedule pe lessons around the periods of girls taking the lessons you can't

Periods usually last 5-7 days and come once a month.

Two sessions 2 weeks apart as already pointed out would cover 99.9 percent of the girls. Those who have very erratic lengthy or hideous periods that even this method wouldn't work well hopefully something else can be arranged.

Quite simple really and a pe teacher should have more of a grasp of basic biology.

Stormwhale · 27/01/2017 12:04

I remember having a panic attack trying to use a tampon when I was 14. I was desperate to swim on holiday, but I still couldn't do it. The feeling of inserting something was just horrific. I would therefore be 100% behind any teenage girl who did not get on with them.

hackmum · 27/01/2017 12:04

"I know, it's terrifying the contempt some women have for other women."

Yes. One of the most shocking things about Mumsnet for me has been the discovery of how much some women hate other women. You see it as well in columnists like Sarah Vine or Jan Moir in the Mail - absolutely dripping with contempt for other women and their choices in a way that they would never consider acceptable towards men.

MissMrsMsXX · 27/01/2017 12:08

Hackmum.

I agree, both here and in real life.

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