PFTB about who minds DC?

[sleeplesshell]

Please people tell me AIBU here, I think I am, I think I need therapy!

I get an awful feeling when it's suggested people look after my children. For example I don't mind my sisters and MIL minding my kids when I've to go out for a few hours. I know they're in safe hands and trust them implicitly. My MIL will start the ' I'll get your DD to sleep in a cot while your gone' millarky but mostly I'm not out long enough for this 'teaching' to happen.

It's when it's suggested that 15YO nephews or SIL with no experience minding kids. I get a feeling of dread and just think they're not capable and my children would suffer. My nephews mother come across as open minded but when she's minded any other kids will generally have an attitude of ' god they never stopped crying/eating/using a soother/going to the loo attitude. An overall shitting on the child and how they are being brought up being not to her standard. Her son relays all back so this is by proxy.

My SIL has minded my DS for a short time and all she does is want him to give her hugs and kisses and say over and over how much he loves her and she's the favourite aunt she also let him run out on to a busy road and nearly be hit by a car albeit when he was younger and didn't have sense. He's a little bit of sense now.

My aunt offers but has an addiction problem so can't be trusted, my other aunt offers but spends the whole time in his presence talking about how great other DN is of the same age and knows his colours/letters/numbers and we aren't teaching our DS enough.

Just every babysitter seems to come with strings and I like to avoid these strings for an easier life.

Am I being PFTB about who minds my kids?

Sounds like you're being pretty discerning. YANBU

No I think YANBU, I imagine I'd feel the same

I think my problem is I have an issue with almost all potential babysitters that are in the family I prefer a third party babysitter that didn't come with these strings but then I'm denying my DC the chance to bond with the family.

I was ready to come on and say yAbu, but reading you're OP YANBU. They don't sound like good options tbh!

We used a babysitter service as none of our family lived local but when we visited family they often babysat so DH and I could have the night out and family could spoil the DT's.

I have four kids. The only people that have ever looked after them, by choice, are my parents, my husband's parents and pre-school. I've used preschool staff for babysitting on the odd occasion (in my own home. Easier all round that way). Is this an option for you.

YANBU. At all.