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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really glad my DH is away for two nights?

53 replies

DieOrEar · 26/01/2017 14:34

I feel terrible saying this but my DH was away last night and he's away tonight and I'm really happy to be rid of him for a bit.

He's been ill with a cold for the last week or so and he's ridiculously dramatic about the whole thing. He'll start a sentence and then end it coughing and spluttering in a really OTT way. The other day he said he had fluid on his lungs. He hasn't, he's got a dry cough and when he coughs he produces some spit in his mouth. That's not fluid on the lungs.

Anyway, he's away so the house is quiet. There isn't his piles of crap everywhere. Last night I had a ready meal curry and tonight I'm ordering myself a kebab. If he was here he'd cook something delicious but healthy and I want to slob out with shit food.

I know I ABU because he's away with work and that's shit. Plus, he's a little bit ill. But I'm loving the peace!

OP posts:

chickalickaloo · 26/01/2017 16:47

YADNBU!!! As much as we love our DHs, it's lovely to get some down time on your own! Enjoy

SnackSnackEatAndCrave · 26/01/2017 16:53

I could have written this post! DP came home last night "full of cold" a bit sniffley and was very put out about my lack of sympathy!
He's away with work tonight and I'm over the moon! I'm going to watch trash TV and eat all the Christmas chocolate that he's been "rationing".

Pisghetti · 26/01/2017 16:54

I work away occasionally. It's absolute bliss. I sit on the hotel bed eating takeaway in my pyjamas and watching shite telly. I pee without an audience. Nobody tries to pinch a chip. No one tries to change channel or suggests having the telly off over dinner. I wouldn't like it every night of course! But I treasure the odd nights it does happen.

Janey50 · 26/01/2017 16:56

I LOVE a bit of a break from my DP. No snoring,or fidgeting,I can eat what I want for dinner,watch what I want on the TV,and don't seem to spend an inordinate amount of time just tidying up after him. It's not that he's terribly untidy,it's that I am obsessively tidy. And I dread him getting a cold,or worse still,a cough. Whinge whinge whinge is all I hear for days. And his coughing makes me murderous with rage. It seems as if he fills his cheeks up with air iyswim before he coughs,just for maximum impact.

Original poster

DieOrEar · 26/01/2017 16:58

Oh dear MrsJayy you have my sympathies. Your DH doesn't

OP posts:

Original poster

DieOrEar · 26/01/2017 17:01

Janey50 Oh my DH does that air thing as well. It drives me crackers because it's like a great big gasp and whenever we want to get the dog excited for a walk or play or biscuits we do a big gasp. So, the dog hears DH do his big dramatic gasp and starts wagging her tail and jumping about like something's going to happen and all DH does is a massive over dramatic cough. Then, of course, I have to settle the dog down because DH is far too ill.

Oh god, I wish he was away for longer!

OP posts:

Upanddownroundandround · 26/01/2017 17:03

Mine OH has just gone out for two hours. I am loving it! He has driven me crazy in the half hour we have both been home together. I'm hoping he is longer than two hours.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 26/01/2017 17:04

It's lovely having the double bed to yourself for a change too with no duvet hogging/snoring.

My dad does the dramatic sneezing, like a big shout. He did it once as we were waiting for a ride to start at Thorpe Park and the attendant came over to see if he was alright.

Original poster

DieOrEar · 26/01/2017 17:11

As well as the ill thing, my DH will drone on for ages after a work day about completely boring shit that happens to people I don't know. But he won't tell a story from start to finish in, say, two minutes, he'll go;
"So, you know Steve at work...[starts reading the back of a food packet]...Do you think this sauce is okay to go in the oven? [I answer yes].. Okay, well anyway Steve's mum lives in Cardiff...[wanders out of the room for a few minutes]....I'm going to put some cabbage in the pan as well with this [I answer ok]....So, yeah, Steve's mum lives in Cardiff and she got a new pet rabbit...[wanders off to get changed]..."

You get the picture. In my head I'm murderously screaming 'Just fucking spit it out you useless sack of fucking shit'.

When he's away and we chat on the phone we usually don't have long so he's much better at getting to the fucking point

OP posts:

UnimaginativeUser · 26/01/2017 17:21

OMG, totally not unreasonable! My DP has had a cough since before Christmas. It's not as bad as it was, but he still descends into an enormous coughing fit that makes it sound like he's about to throw up everywhere!

And the sneezes! SO bloody loud! I'm immune to them now, but they still scare visitors... he also "can't control them", yet mysteriously in the middle of the ever-so-important new Star Wars film can manage to sneeze at a regular volume level!

I LOVE having the house to myself, though I admit I am not overly keen on going to bed when the house is empty, but it's a small price to pay for the remote control, access to whatever food I want to eat, then being able to starfish in bed! YANBU!

oldlaundbooth · 26/01/2017 18:06

DH was moaning about a bad back.

I said my back was hurting too. He asked how come?

Because I'm recovering from pregnancy, I've just had a caeseaean and been lifting a newborn, maybe?

thatdearoctopus · 26/01/2017 18:26

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this but a good few years back, I tore something in my knee, skiing. Could barely limp.

Flew back to the UK and went to collect the car. Dh said I'd have to drive home, as he was far too ill with the first day of his cold.

Original poster

DieOrEar · 26/01/2017 18:28

oldlaund What an arse!!

thatdear Well, I'm sure his cold was much much worse than, you know, your actual injury

OP posts:

Albatross26 · 26/01/2017 19:28

oldlaund what is that 'how come' thing about?! Dp does this

Me: I feel a bit rough, think I might have a cold coming on
Him: how come?

Ermm...because I was exposed to a cold virus?!

KanyesVest · 28/01/2017 00:15

He's back. He's snoring. One of us may not make it until he goes away again on Tuesday.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 28/01/2017 00:41

My DH works away sometimes. I make the obligatory sad face but secretly it's great!

I can watch rubbish TV and I can eat mackerel! He hates mackerel (Inc the smell). Like a pp I will admit disliking going to bed alone when the house is empty. However DH will occasionally make reference to me fidgeting in bed and waking him up. When he is away I sleep like a baby....Bliss!!

He is a lovely lovely man...but I do love a bit of alone time.

harleysmammy · 28/01/2017 01:08

You are 100% not being unreasonable! My partner is in the navy and i i hated him not being around especially because our son missed him so me and my boy stayed with my dad until he came home. 2 days after he'd come home from 6 months in the water, i'd want him to bugger off back to the sea again! I love him but he snores like anything, he takes all the duvet, he leaves toothpaste in the sink, he spends hours in the bath and by the time he's finished i dont even want one anymore..i could write a book! You are totally not on your own, cant live with them cant live without them haha

CheshireChat · 28/01/2017 01:46

Can I send mine away?! Anywhere?
He's good at tidying if there's any takers .

He's been sick.for about 10 days and I'm completely fed up with him as he complains about his nose, but won't use nose drops. Has a cough, but doesn't take the cough medicine and take 1/3 of the dose of paracetamol he should be taking.

He also made the mistake to moan some tidying wasn't done when both me and our 2 year old were really sick so he get no sympathy now.

heppi · 28/01/2017 02:24

DH travels a lot for work and has done since the dc were babies. I think he has residual guilt from when it was bloody hard work for me by myself with toddlers/newborns and seems to think it's still tough for me when he goes away. It isn't. The dc are really easy now and I catch up on sleep while I've got the bed to myself . I think he'd also like the children to miss him a bit more than they do, so I try to let him down gently by telling him we're 'used to it', like it's a hardship that we all cope with, but really we do just fine.

Longdistance · 28/01/2017 02:36

My Dh too goes away a lot. This week and last he's been away.

It's bliss as he's a pita at times when home. Constantly asking questions about everything and analysing details of everything.

My dd's don't care for him much, but only because he doesn't tell them he's going away.

They're 5 and 7, and I find it quite sad really.

sobeyondthehills · 28/01/2017 03:03

I would of said you were UR but DP had 3 months off work (6 weeks serious) the last month was recovery and by the end of the 2 weeks I was praying that he was going back to work.

AmeliaJack · 28/01/2017 03:17

My DH travels quite a bit for work. I adore him and am always am very pleased to have him back home after a trip.

However the children and I slip quite naturally into a completely different routine when he's away. My lovely MIL assumes that we're all miserable when he's away but actually we're completely fine (which it would seem rude to admit to )

It feels lovely to be able to have a really long bath with my book without feeling like I'm ignoring him or to take up the whole sofa with a book and a cup of tea.

The laundry cuts by about a third as well. How can one man wear so many clothes?

BuggersMuddle · 28/01/2017 03:46

I think wanting your partner around and yet enjoying alone time is perfectly normal tbh. No DC here, but 2 full on jobs which can lead to grumpiness around meals, alarm clocks etc. (I have a medical condition which is negatively impacted by late / heavy eating and also need more sleep. We plan separate meals where that makes sense, but I do a good turn in righteous anger when we've planned a joint meal and DP is hellishly late or he's promised to cook something elaborate - which I don't usually want - and not turned up for the task).

Seriously though, we have a good relationship, but we're both torn in many directions and so when he's away the ability to go 'fuck it, I'm having pasta and pesto / sticking a chicken breast in Nandos marinade' is bliss. Equally when I was the traveller I missed him loads, but for me the ability to eat my meal at 7.30pm on the dot was lovely.

I do love him dearly, but half my team are in one timezone and half his team are in pretty much the opposite, so it's a pita. Seriously thinking of giving up family meals.

He still leaves crap everywhere. It's his first calling in life, but that's a whole other thread.

DeliveredByKiki · 20/02/2017 04:20

mine just got back from 5 days away, he's full of cold too (his always seem to last so long and so much worse anyone else) and I'm just staring at his shoes in the middle of the floor and the suitcase dumped next to the front door which, unless I move it which annoyingly I will because my mum arrives in 2 days, would stay there until kingdom come.

Despite being so ill myself the cold turned into a sinus and ear infection, I've had a lovely week, helps that DC have been on form the whole time and I have lovely friends who've helped pick up the parenting slack....it's just so nice to have some space

Next time thought I'd love him to take the kids too....imagine the peace and quiet!

FatCatFaces · 20/02/2017 04:23

Me and the husband spend approx half the week apart. It's blissful

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