AIBU to expect him to join me at a wedding?

[user1485383565]

My longterm boyfriend and I have been invited to a wedding of one of my cousins. When I asked if he was going, he gave various reasons why he couldn't go, such as not knowing anyone (not true) and not having anything to wear.

This has happened with most invitations for anything with my family or friends. When he has gone, everyone has chatted and been lovely to him/he enjoyed himself, so no issues there.

It makes me feel like he doesn't care about what's important to me. I go to all of his family events.

Am I being unreasonable to think he should join me or am I better off going on my own?

I think you have bigger issues than the wedding don't you? How old are you? If you're not quite young I'd think four years a long time to be together and not be engaged if marriage and children is something you both want. I think you need to have a proper talk with him about where he sees your relationship going.

Don't think about it as four wasted years, think of it as no more wasted years. I know a couple that have been together since their teens and 'engaged' for about 20 years, he's always 'put off' marriage and kids, they're in their 40s now, I think she accepted a while ago that it wasn't ever happening, but thought it too late to start over and stayed with him anyway.

As for attending weddings, he could just be antisocial? A friend of mine has a boyfriend (they both agree no marriage or children) of 10 years who I've never met because he just doesn't like socialising, she's fine with that. I wouldn't be, I drag my antisocial DH to family events and things, it's part of being a couple for me, but I don't do it too often and if there are a lot in a short space of time I'll go to some alone so he isn't overwhelmed. It's about what you want/can accept from of a partner.

Good luck OP, don't waste any more time waiting for this guy if he's not going to give you what you want.

I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go to most weddings, and to a wedding where I only knew my DP and pretty much nobody else? Yeah, not happening.