To ask her for coffee again?

[dontpullyourbrotherswilly]

I feel a bit pathetic to ask mumsnet for help here but I really don't know what to do with this.
Just as background - Not very long moved to a new area, became sahm, don't really have any friends here and not very socially confident.

So to the question, i go to the local playgroup, where i became quite friendly with another mum, at one point we exchanged phone numbers (for a different reason)
I asked her for a coffee , she accepted and suggested couple of dates - when the day came my DS was sick and ended up in hospital so I wasn't able to make it, texted her and she understood and suggested we made new plans at next playgoup. Due to other circumstances I wasn't able to go on that day. Then it was Christmas.
Now we have met again in playgroup but I haven't mentioned the coffee and neither has she.
I feel like maybe she was just being nice initially accepting my invite and in fact she seems to be quite busy and have plenty of friends (from what I can see in playgoup) and perhaps isn't really looking for more.
Would it be awkward to ask again or just leave it and move on?

Sorry for such a trivial problem- i just keep going back and forth on what I should do and I really don't know.

Ask her again.

I say this as a socially inept 40 plus person who overnight became a Mummy and have found it hard to break into the school clique that exists.

As someone up thread said what you assume is probably not the case. Next time you're at the group say something along the lines of I'm sorry that circumstances meant I had to cancel coffee , I was really looking forward to it , how about 3rd time lucky and name a date/s you are free and say I hope you can make it ?

I'm sure she will if she is a nice friendly person. GOOD LUCK And go for it.

She is just getting the hint you do t really want to have a coffe b cause every time you have cancelled or not show up to rearrange. Genuine reasons obviously but she isn't to know that. Just ask again, this is just a misunderstanding, that's all.

As you cancelled twice it is def up to you to make the next move. I wd text. Seems more sincere. Say you were so sorry re previous two times and explain why if you are happy to. Then suggest a time and place to meet and say you really would like to !

lacontessa I did the same, there was a mum I really got on with and her ds would be great with mine as they were same age, but not so close that I felt I could just say lets get a drink, So I waited in the car 1 day until I saw her going in, then raced with ds and stood behind in the queue just so I could find out her surname.

The next week I made up some story asking if she was on facebook as I'm sure her name had popped up in a group I was in (It was a city group - Like facebook Bolton or Newcastle buy and sell type groups) - from that we got chatting and I ended up adding her.

I dont see much of her as she moved away but for around a year it was nice to have someone to meet up with as there was nobody else. Could you do something similar if you dont fancy just asking her again? and don't worry about the over thinking - I do that for every little thing, Its hard making friends, but know that this 1 little step will make it easier for next time.

The thing is this isn't London, people here are super friendly and nice.

Bloody cheek!

If someone cancelled coffee with me and never mentioned rearranging, I'd think they didn't want to be friends with me.

So, ask her!

Does the toddler group not have a Facebook page that she would be a member of so you can find her last name?

Of course ask her again!

You cancelled twice which is why she hasn't mentioned it - it doesn't mean she doesn't want to do it.

Just make sure you don't cancel again! and have really nice cake

38cody I agree with OP..Londons bloody unfriendly..and I speak as a fully fledged cockney!

You cancelled twice, she may think you aren't that serious about getting together and is worried about foisting herself on you. In other words, precisely what you are feeling. Ask her again.