To expect to be told?

[CryingInFrontOfStrangers]

6 year old was in trouble yesterday lunchtime for being somewhere he shouldn't have been (but not anywhere dangerous, it just wasnt his year group's turn). On the day he went on a 'yellow' which results in lost golden time on Friday. Today he tells me that he has also had to write an apology letter to the dinner ladies and is missing lunchtime play until the end of the week. Does this seem excessive to anyone else? If whatever he did was that bad that he needs punishing 5 times over for it then surely I should have been told?

Are you sure this is his actual punishment. Could he not be dramatising it a bit

If it's as your son reports then to me the punishment is way OTT and I'd raise it with school but I'd check exactly what happened first.

I'm with you on this OP. The punishment is excessive for a 6 yr old who simply went on a gym trail when it wasn't his years turn.

And if there's more to it than that I'd expect to be told so that I can take some of the parental responsibility of also explaining the school rules.

I'm not saying you should go in all guns blazing but if it were me I would be asking his class teacher for more info.

I think you should talk to the teacher just to find out out exactly what happened. It doesn't have to be necessarily something you would be notified about,but knowing what he did will help you decide wether the consequences are fair or not. It could be that he did it more than once,been warned before and it didn't work. Or that he's doing it particularly at lunchtime , taking advantage it's the dinner ladies rather than TA's /teachers,so that's why his lunchtime play is removed.
Or it could be that it was first offence,nothing more to it,in which case school are being OTT.

It is outrageous for any child to miss playtime - it results in worse behaviour, worse concentration and is seriously bad for mental health and cognitive development.

It does also sound excessive and the consequence is also far too far in the future to be effective for a five year old.

I agree about talking to the teacher though because it might be he's just been not allowed in a particular area of the playground because he can't be trusted not to go out of bounds which would be different from missing playtime and being punished for days after the event.

Isadora I would fight my child's corner if they were being falsely accused but a punishment applied for something they actually did?

I'd say "it's sounds a bit harsh, but you take your lumps and behave properly next time".

You aren't doing you children any favours leaping in to get them off the hook every time they have an unpleasant punishment.

Children not being where they should be is a safety risk. At 6 yo he's old enough to know to follow the rules.

Oh blimey I am a teacher and I have always called it the trim trail! I would say that keeping him in a place where he can be seen is needed. I also would use the term consequences rather than punishment.

my kids know I will always fight their corner yep and decide what you deem acceptable.

Please don't turn into that mum who is in denial about their child's behaviour. He did the wrong thing and the only ongoing is just to ensure he remains in a supervised environment as he has shown he can't be trusted. Probably have the supervisors a fright. I do agree that the school should have told you though.

I would open a convo with his teacher with an apology for his disobedience, then say that his story is a little garbled and could she tell me about it, finally ask if there is anything she would particularly like me to do to support the punishment? Somewhere in that convo we would have got everything clear and sorted, and teacher and I would be on same page.

Good for his teacher for enforcing the fact that he should be respecting the middays and doing what he is told. there are often very few middays on duty, they have to make sure everyone gets a lunch at the right time, supervise the dining hall, supervise the playground, deal with falls, bumps, arguments, sad children, lonely children, lost coats and the rest. The last thing they should have to deal with is disobedient children who deliberately flout rules.

6yo don't always think. They don't always do something knowing they shouldn't but more so it because they don't think they shouldn't it swim?

He was doing something he shouldn't. For me that requires a warning and explanation. If it's done again then I'd say a consequence. So if told to go away as not their day and they come back. That punishment should be related to crime. Missing gym in there day or something.

For a punishment of missing golden time, moving down to yellow and missing play all week I would have suspected this is something he does daily despite knowing it's wrong me has been doing for a period of time. And yes, in those circumstances as a parent I'd expect to be told. It least because I'd be having stern words with my ds myself!

If you remove outdoor play time for most 6 yo I know, it's an even greater punishment for the teachers who have to deal with the excess energy than for the kids themselves. It's not a great idea from the school.

If you're getting the full story from DS then I think it sounds ridiculously over the top. What is in the behaviour policy?

I'd check that this punishment has been given by the teacher and not dished out by the dinner lady, in my experience they can be over the top.

When I worked in a school that had Golden Time the dinner ladies would often come in after lunch and say "he's done xyz and lost all his golden time for this week". Then I would remind them that school policy is loosing one minute at a time and reinstate the GT.

You can still support the school, you don't even have to tell DS you are speaking to them.