To feel like he should have tried harder

[fledglingFTB]

DP told me a week before my birthday that he hadn't bothered to get me anything. Not even a card. Made some weak excuses, like he thought the meal (that I have organised and booked) was our 'gift to each other'

We're not exactly loaded at the minute, and I've only spent £20 on him. But, I was honest and told him that it was the lack of thought that upset me.

Birthday rolls up, still no gift. I had mentioned a few suggestions.

I've now just got an email on my lunch and he's hastily bought me and him an hour in one of those Breakout rooms a month after my birthday.

I would actually rather pull out my own teeth one by one than do this. It cost 40 quid and is non-refundable

I have NEVER shown an interest in that kind of crap, in fact the thought of it makes me feel mildly claustrophobic. I do however know that one of his female colleagues is mad for this type of stuff, sits next to him at work and just so happened to go there for her birthday...

I'm trying to not be so f*cked off, as I know it's a stupid birthday gift. But, is it really SO hard to give a bit of consideration to your OH - AIBU?!?!

Don't go if you'd hate it.

Let him take the colleague.

An hour on your own? Isn't he doing the with you?

Sorry, whats a breakout room>?

Yanbu.

Yes it's for me and him, like a pair of sad sacks. On our todd.

A breakout room is like a budget version of the crypton factor. You get locked in a room and then you have an hour to solve the puzzle... So they let you out 😒

Dear god I was bored just typing that out.

It sounds as if you you'd made up your mind to dislike anything he got you tbh.

They're really fun (imo) and maybe he thought it would be a nice to have some time together doing something different. If you've never said you would hate it then it's not really thoughtless. But it's a shame you don't like it since it is your birthday present.

Thankyou , I have never heard of this before. xx

Happy birthday! That's pretty crappy

xStefx I think it's like an escape room game type thing that I really enjoy

YANBU OP. Especially since you had made some suggestions, it doesn't sound like he has put much thought into it and that is really annoying. I'd be upset as well, even something free that he'd put some thought into would be better than nothing.

The only thing I can say really is I felt the same as you about the Breakout thing and I went with colleagues and it turned out to be a lot of fun, I'd definitely go again and I hate the thought of being locked in somewhere.

I'd maybe go and try and put a brave face on - you might enjoy it too in the end and you won't want to look back and realise you were being rude about it but maybe ask him to cook you your favourite dinner or something for your actual birthday? Get some wine and some cake and have a nice night in together.

Happy Birthday! x

I do feel for you, although I do think he's probably tried to put the effort in and treat you on your birthday. Is he usually this useless with presents?

Happy birthday by the way!

I have to say I would love to do that but your DH should know it's not your thing.

Talk to him about it as YANBU.

He got have got you lunch on the Orient express & I think you would have moaned

Interested to hear what these assumptions are based on TheNaze73 and JustSpeakSense?