To be nervous?

[inabranston]

Having a house meeting tonight re issues that have arisen in recent months with flatmates. I'm concerned re what will be brought up. Main bone of contention seems to be discussions about people e.g. One flatmates boyfriend was virtually living here, two of us bit annoyed by it so spoke together about it then spoke to her. She was apparently very hurt we had spoken to each other and has now withdrawn a bit - bit still wants tolive in house and still has boyfriend over a lot!

I think you're going to have to give in a bit. It's her house, she has a right to live there and a right to have her boyfriend stay. Perhaps ask for a contribution towards utility bills (agree an amount based on how much he is there). I think you're being slightly unreasonable if you suggest anything other than that. I'm not surprised your housemate was hurt tbh

When we moved in she said 3 nights a week - it has been 6 really for 4 months now! It's the deception that I don't like.

Libby no she doesn't have a right to have her boyfriend stay! Not if it's too often. It's the OP's house too and she didn't sign up to share with some random man!

Ask her to contribute more to bills off set his stays.

Even if he only stays in the evenings or whatever, he will use water to brush his teeth, shower/bath, drink, charge his electronices etc etc.. It all adds up.

And 6 nights! No way OP. Just be firm...tell your flatmate that you don't mind 2 nights per week but any more is basically him living there and that's not on.

She doesn't have the 'right' to have her boyfriend to stay beyond agreed limits. Talk to the other flatmate in advance and decide what you want to happen - boyfriend back to staying over only three nights, contributing to bills etc?

This is a continual bone of contention on flat and houseshares. A lot of people would not choose to share with a couple, and deliberately select a house where there isn't a resident couple, only to find that one slips in via the back door.

Have you posted about this several times and not listened to any of the advice given before?

No it's not reasonable to have someone's boyfriend there 6 nights a week with no contribution.

harderandharder I was just about to post the exact same comment

Yes I've listened to the advice and have spoken to her please read my post properly that's not what I'm posting about!

I'll await the next post

Is it just the three of you? I'd start looking for a 2 bed flat and leave the other flatmate to decide if she wants to move in with the boyfriend properly, or not.