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AIBU?

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Follow on from paying for sitter thread

18 replies

Mistykit · 24/01/2017 09:46

I didn't want to try to hijack that thread but it did make me wonder. What if you're a single parent or a non-parent with pets and work requires you to work abroad for a week every other month. However you can't afford to pay for babysitters or pet sitters (no family nearby or friends willing to help out). What would you do then?

Faod.. this is not my situation, I'm just curious as it may arise at some point.

OP posts:
Treaclex · 24/01/2017 09:49

Then you change your job to suit your needs. Depending on the age of child / children there's flexible working hours but ideally you wouldn't take a job where you are going to struggle with child / pet care.

lalaloopyhead · 24/01/2017 09:54

Yes, you would have to work in a job that would suit your circumstances. I am not a single parent but childcare arrangements and DH's working hours wouldn't allow me to be able to work away for a week every other month. It would obviously be easier to try and accommodate such hours with a partner that without, but not always a foregone conclusion.

harderandharder2breathe · 24/01/2017 09:54

You wouldn't take the job or would negotiate to avoid that part of it

icanteven · 24/01/2017 09:54

Not that job, I'd imagine.

NerrSnerr · 24/01/2017 09:56

You'd need another job. My husband works away quite a lot but can only do it because I'm around. I also chose a 9-5 job over shiftwork as that wouldn't work with his job.

mouldycheesefan · 24/01/2017 09:58

Then it's not the job for you. Or you rehome the pets. realistically you would never take such a job. So it's a non issue.

Ginkypig · 24/01/2017 10:50

As everyone have said, it wouldn't be the right job for you.

it's unlikely you would be in those circumstances as you wouldn't take a job knowing that. Or if you had that job beforehand you would consider that before having children taking on pets.

The simple case is if you can't do the job it's not the job for you although in practice and with the way the job market is I assume some people may feel forced into such circumstances. Esp if your say widowed or a relationship breaks down.

CripsSandwiches · 24/01/2017 10:53

I think there is an argument that employers could choose to do more (or be compelled to by the government) to promote flexible working conditions. On the other hand for some jobs it's just unavoidable that you'll have antisocial working hours or trips abroad and you have to factor that in when choosing a career.

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 24/01/2017 14:20

I guess if it is something new your asked to do, ie wasn't part of the job initially, you might be able to negotiate an fixed amount for each night spent away.
And people without DC or pets would get the same amount as well.

TeenAndTween · 24/01/2017 14:25

Yup, not the job for you.

I used to work for a department that, depending on your project, might require trips to Europe. We always made it very clear at interview that overnight trips and occasional week long ones were expected. If someone then took up a job offer then broadly speaking they were expected to be able to travel.

Strongmummy · 24/01/2017 16:15

Some private equity firms allow female employees to take their children on business trips with them and provide childcare. Obviously not the norm and many businesses wouldn't be able to afford this, but it's pretty cool!!

SparkleShinyGlitter · 24/01/2017 16:18

If part of your job is going away and you can't afford childcare then it isn't the job for you!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 24/01/2017 16:20

You chose a job to go with your circumstances. You can't expect your employers to foot the bill.

Mistykit · 24/01/2017 22:41

Alright people :) it's not my situation. It may arise, may not arise; no crystal ball I'm afraid. I was curious as to a bit of a chicken / egg scenario. If you have the job for several years first and then your personal circumstances change e.g. have a dc. I guess based on the responses it implies that you would be expected to change career. So it would be assumed that an employer would rather lose you as an employee rather than be flexible for a short period of time every other month.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 24/01/2017 23:34

Some things just aren't flexible though. My role cannot be done from home. There's not much of s work from home culture in the company but they are very flexible in other ways such as part time, compressed hours (full time in 4 days is actually standard in my role)

But yes sometimes you have to make choices. Just like you choose to have children or pets.

Heebejeebees · 24/01/2017 23:38

I'm a single mum with a dog. I have a pet/house sitter and a lovely mum. I couldn't do it without them. I can't travel as much as is required either, so it's a bit stressful juggling expectations.

You couldn't do it without a support network. It's very hard even with that in place.

WyfOfBathe · 25/01/2017 00:31

So it would be assumed that an employer would rather lose you as an employee rather than be flexible for a short period of time every other month.
I suppose it depends on how important the travel is to the company. I know someone who works in sales for a multinational firm. If he wasn't able to travel around Europe to meet and "shmooze" with clients, he wouldn't really be fulfilling his role and so I don't see why his employer would keep him on.

If someone was just travelling to regular meetings that could be carried out over skype, and they were a good employee, then I guess the employer would be more flexible.

therealpippi · 25/01/2017 00:34

Unaid Housitters easy to find, unpaid babysitters for a week not so. Only some grandparents.

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