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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why everyone thinks you want a relationship?

39 replies

Macaroni22 · 23/01/2017 21:57

Aibu to get pissed off everyone assumes I want a relationship?
With comments like 'you'll find the one oneday' 'it will happen when you least expect it' 'you deserve someone special'

How about I'm genuinely 100% happy being single and do not feel the need to find 'Mr right'?!?!?!
I like being a slob when I get home and not being judged by anyone, having the TV remote, being able to do and live however I want without having to consider a partner, not having petty arguments over housekeeping etc, having the whole bed to myself, not having to smell someone else's shit in my bathroom Grin

And how if men know you're single you're swamped with messages and chat ups and if you don't reply get labelled rude, I'm not rude I just don't want to talk to you and I shouldn't have to have a reason!

Why can people not accept this?! Everyone seems to be on some sort of quest to find love. I just don't get it.

Or am I just a complete weirdo?!Grin

OP posts:
user1475253854 · 23/01/2017 23:27

I am with you OP.
A friend once asked "Don't you ever get lonely?" and I was like, erm, no, never.
Don't get me wrong, I've had depression and other things but it is never related to the lack of man in my life.

RhodaBorrocks · 23/01/2017 23:32

I turned 35 recently and all my friends (from mid 20s to mid 50s) have started talking about getting me 'settled down and having babies'.

Except I did that in my 20s. I had the baby I thought I would never have (Endometriosis and possible PCOS plus 50% chance of M/C due to EDS). DS is 10 this year and becoming an amazing young man. I don't know if I want to go through sleepless nights and nappies again. I'm enjoying being cool auntie Rhoda to my nephews.

I'm away from an abusive relationship and having a life. If I meet someone amazing then fine, but I'm happy as I am right now.

RhodaBorrocks · 23/01/2017 23:33

I turned 35 recently and all my friends (from mid 20s to mid 50s) have started talking about getting me 'settled down and having babies'.

Except I did that in my 20s. I had the baby I thought I would never have (Endometriosis and possible PCOS plus 50% chance of M/C due to EDS). DS is 10 this year and becoming an amazing young man. I don't know if I want to go through sleepless nights and nappies again. I'm enjoying being cool auntie Rhoda to my nephews.

I'm away from an abusive relationship and having a life. If I meet someone amazing then fine, but I'm happy as I am right now.

zukiecat · 24/01/2017 15:03

I'm divorced and I love being single now, my DC are grown up and happily living their own lives.

I do not want any sort of relationship with a man ever again, I love doing my own thing!

TheNaze73 · 24/01/2017 15:24

They're definitely the issue & not you. Narrow minded arses!

I've been in both camps & had several brilliant years being single through choice. Even had my dream partner come along, I'd not have been in the right headspace to accommodate them

Teaholic · 24/01/2017 19:00

I do find I'm a bit isolated socially as a result of being single.. A bit or a lot. I have single friends (well, two) but like me, they have children and it's not easy to build up a social life when you're single in your forties.

It is part of the reason I would like now to meet somebody. I couldn't have handled it before.

Teaholic · 24/01/2017 19:01

zukiecat, that's what I hope, that once my kids no longer need a babysitter, it will get easier to have a life. atm I have no freedom and no relationship. just work and kids and netflix!

SalemsCat · 24/01/2017 19:02

I've been single for nearly 10 years and love it Smile

Seeingadistance · 24/01/2017 19:18

It took me being married and divorced twice to realise that I'd fallen for society's story that it's important to be part of a couple. I love, love, love living on my own, and intend never to live with a man again.

LuluLovesFruitcakes · 24/01/2017 19:27

I love being single too.
Most of my friends are in relationships or happily married and they always tell me "you'll change your mind when you meet the right man".

I don't want a man. And it's nothing to do with my fucking awful previous relationship, I just do not have a gap in my life for a man.

I'm excited for the future, me and my DS. And there's no room for a man in my plans.

Teaholic · 25/01/2017 12:51

seeingdistance so true. Part of the reason i want to be in a relationship now (and now i do) is because socialising is easier/automatic, connections and friendships are doubled. Im single my brother is single. We have no big circle of automatic friends and family. Part of the reason i need a partner now is because im excluded from a lot of couply stuff.

Teaholic · 25/01/2017 12:53

And i dont mean i see a man as a ticket into to club couple, i mean i am doubly isolated, not invited out with my friends at night and not having the companionship either.. it is the latter i want.

Lorelei76 · 25/01/2017 13:20

I must admit I don't understand the social isolation thing
I always kept my social life separate from partners.

Tea, why aren't your friends inviting you out? Is it busy/tired stuff etc?

Clnz4fun · 25/01/2017 13:59

Quark it's better to be happily single than entertaining many rl that just won't work and are pointless other than someone to warm your bed.

I am single and not ready to commit to a ltr or even casual at the moment. I had someone who adored me and we were well suited so in my head I tell myself I had something great and maybe I will again but I am in no hurry for it, Just enjoying doing things that don't require someone else's input or consideration, It's great.

I do love to be loved though.

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