To not wish him happy birthday on Facebook

[Partyanimmal]

Jeez I am ashamed of myself that I even took the time to write this on mumsnet. But want opinions.

I met a guy at work. We got on great. Worked together for a year. Spent a lot of time
Together. It was all purely platonic. No feelings on either side. I started dating another colleague once I'd left but we have since split (remained genuine friends).

I went for a night out and at the end we just said it was nice working together and he said I was to let him
Know if I needed any help with interviews or anything when I start a new job (I probably too this too literally). 😂

So we added each other on Facebook and just did the usual liking each other's posts.

I started a new (horrendous) job and messaged him asking if he was enjoying his new job. He replied saying hi. Yeah it's alright I suppose. Do you like yours. To which i replied saying I wasn't that happy and was the team he's currently in similar to the work we did previously and what specific area it was in.

He never replied.

I thought it quite rude really as I had asked a direct question. I just took it to mean for whatever reason he was making a deliberate point that he didn't want to stay in contact so since then I've just forgotten about it.

It's his birthday today and a former colleague said I should write on his Facebook saying happy birthday as it's the birthday of two
Other people we worked with and I've written on their walls so it looks like I'm deliberately snubbing him.

I feel this is just ridiculous and over thinking. If he didn't reply to a message with a direct question, that's a clear sign he doesn't want to stay in contact. Quite an obvious one.

So I'm not going to make contact myself.

I get messages from people I don't really want to stay in contact with but always reply until the conversation comes to a natural end. Usually in an hour. It's just polite.

I've not fallen out with him at all. He's not a bad guy. Just doesn't want to stay in contact and since I messaged he hasn't liked anything on my Facebook. Maybe he thought it was me hitting on him! He's mistaken but he clearly didn't want to reply. So I'm not sure why I should initiate any.

I just messaged in what I meant to be a purely
Platonic way. I hope nothing was misconstrued.

Sorry for rambling. AIBU to not say happy birthday (And that this is ridiculous thing to even be worrying about)

Omg at this thread. I hate the whole wishing someone a happy birthday on Facebook. The best is when people wish their partners and kids happy birthday on Facebook. Does this mean they haven't said it to them in person? It's so weird.

Your mate needs to get a life and not worry about who is writing to whom on Facebook. It's up to you if you contact someone or not.

no, pretty sure I don't have feelings for him.

I only have a few friends on Facebook so notice who is on my chat. I only set up my Facebook so family could see pics of my son. I used to have about 600 friends but deleted my account and got a new one. I only have 60 friends on there and I didn't add him, he added me. I wouldn't have added him myself.

I think it's because I've offended him a few times by accident. He thought i had deleted him on Facebook once and came up annoyed and said it to me (I'd deactivate any account), he Regularly got annoyed when he felt I'd insulted him or snubbed him so he's very sensitive.

I never mean to.

But yeah, I don't think I should now initiate contact. Seems pathetic to do so.

How old are you? Your obsession with what to do on social media and your certainty that you - and you alone - know other people's intentions (when in reality you can't) reminds me of my pre-teen.

This kind of post always makes me glad I quit Facebook.

it takes 30 Seconds to reply and I genuinely think he deliberately didn't reply.

But not everyone is comfortable with messages/texts. I certainly don't respond to all texts within an hour, unless they're urgent.

It takes me ages to reply to messages sometimes. Each text weighs on my mind. I wonder if it's some kind of anxiety.

I think you're right. Forget about it all. I'm so tempted to deactivate my Facebook. Hate the politics of it all!

😡

perhaps whatever he is using shows he is Active, when he isnt really.

you say he is sensitive?
so you think he thought you were wanting to work with him again or something?

I delete people and my teenage DD's were astounded that I do.

Yeah he's a bit sensitive. Probably misconstrued my message in some way. Who knows.

I always delete people. If I haven't even liked their posts in a year they go 😂

I sent the message two months ago!!! He's not that busy.

I think I need to deactivate my account to be honest. It's such a waste of time.

I do take exception to deleting people on their birthday.
Deactivate your account op.
you can always go back

I don't delete him as it's a bit mean. I've unfollowed him though. Did that ages ago.

God you both sound a bit over invested in what other people are doing/not doing in regard to facebook. Does it really matter? If you believe that he doesn't want any contact then just delete him. If you still want to be friends then wish him a happy birthday (or don't, he probably won't even notice) and get on with your life.

You're choosing to make Facebook political. Wish him happy birthday, move on & don't get too over invested in the future

Just wish him happy birthday. Be the bigger person.

I'd wish happy birthday just out of politeness