Anyone dislike the weekend?

[SouthPole]

I was a sahm (just got autocorrected to sham!!) for about 7 years with the kids.

Went back to work in April and love it.

I thought it would give me an appreciation of the weekend because before it doesn't really matter (it being the weekend and all).

But now it's worse.

The endless fighting, mess, requests for fucking snacks. Endless thinking about what to do. Sat in when raining.

The guilt of too much Xbox and iPad.

The guilt of not wanting to get out for a walk in our lovely countryside...

Did I mention the fighting? Mess? Endless hunger?!

I cannot wait to get back to the working/school routine on a Monday morning.

I also seem be so sick of them- kids, husband.

Touched out. Noised out. I'm currently the spare room trying to find peace and decompress.

They're out in the hall fighting and calling each other bum cheeks.

I want to resign from this job of being a mum. It's not for me.

They are 4,6,7.

Husband works away during the week and is home weekends.

Why is it so hard if your husband is around at the weekends?

Just get out for a bit on weekend mornings. I think it will do all of you a world of good.
Are there any activities the kids could go to?

Give them lots of protein in their meals and tell them to help themselves to the fruit bowl if they're hungry.

Oh they do their sports at the weekends so there is stuff to do.

But we get that done by lunch Saturday and Sunday so then I'm like "now what?!".

Husband is as useless as me for finding shit to do/dealing with the kids.

Yep here too! It drives me insane. Currently on maternity leave with DC 2. The weekends are the same shit but with an extra. To be fair we work together at the weekend but I have to be the organiser which is annoying. Eg if you are going to the tip, I have the kids but then I need to be in town for x o'clock so can you be back by y time blah blah blah.....
We have some structure in the week and I generally find it easier.

Yes! Me too.. Weekends drive me insane. The weather is crap so no one wants to go out but then I always feel guilty doing nothing.
And i feel your pain with the arguing, fighting, shouting, name calling and that's just me and hubby But seriously no one seems to get along on a Sunday. I have 2 DSs (9 & 5)
Roll on Monday morning I say.

Do you have a local Sunday school? If you are of that mind, that could give you an hr or 2 break on a Sunday and may be nice for them? Ours is lovely.

Do they have activities on Saturday and Sunday morning?
Could they be tired?

I think too much Xbox and iPad affects moods as well. Tv, not so much. Put a film on for them in the afternoons.
Do they like drawing or crafts?
Separate them if they keep fighting.
Copying Just Dance from YouTube is good fun for a rainy day, if you don't have similar for Xbox.

OP- can you and your DH take your DC out to your local NT property? There is loads of space for them to run around and all sorts of nature trails outside and interest packs for inside.

Or how about your local museum? or the cinema or the park?

Your local council website should have local activities listed too.

I'm a single mum and work full time. I love my career and have a live in nanny so very very blessed all things considered. Weekends are all about me and my kid.

However!!! I still hanker for my own time as work is crazy and I travel. So I found the balance of her and I doing stuff Saturday mornings together, she does a swimming lesson. She then goes to stage coach 2.30 -5.30 Saturday afternoons when I go for a long swim and a mooch around town.

Movie nights Saturday with popcorn.

Sunday I am then feeling less stressed and ok to get out into the countryside or go do something different. I think taking some time out for myself makes a massive difference.

So even if you can't bundle them all into classes, can you and your husband take alternate Saturday afternoons? Just to get some time to yourselves? On your own or together?? I find the mummy "siren" drives me nuts sometimes so I just need time when it's not about work or her, it's just about me.

If routine works for you in the week, implement it at the weekend too. For example - every week you and your DH take it in turns to take them somewhere 'fun' Saturday afternoon (soft play / park / swimming etc) - the other parent gets time to do what they want. Saturday tea time - something like pizza / burgers with a film (different child chooses each week). Sunday afternoon - something nice together as a family.

That way you and the kids know what's going on and there's not that 'what now' feeling where whinginess / bickering creeps in.

Thanks all for your support.

I think something like stagecoach would be great. Must look into this.

I'm genuinely jaded, it's the exact word.

Off to google stagecoach in the area!

We have a new au pair starting soon and he's a sports coach so I'm hoping he will take some of the pressure off .

Thanks again x

I hate the weekends but for the opposite reason you do - I miss my DH and DS because I have to work I just don't feel I see enough of them and the guilt is crippling but there's a mortgage to be paid.
Get some structure at the weekend and try to agree an hour of 'personal' time each with your DH if you're struggling for headspace.
Personally, i'm worried these early years are going so quick Ds will be off doing his own thing before I know it and i'll miss him following me around like a bad smell and saying my name 80 times

Routine is the key I think.

I've recently instigated a 5 day menu and that is going well so I obviously do love a routine!!

I agree, my kids are similar ages and I do think some kind of routine helps. Doesn't have to be super strict/structured - but a set time that the xbox has to be turned off, playing a game together after lunch, getting reading/homework out the way early, a walk before dinner...
Whatever it is just little scheduled moments of family time you know and they know are going to happen makes it a bit less stressful and stops you feeling like the weekend was stressful iykwim.

You just described me and my life but I'm not back at work til September and was thinking it would make things easier!!

Last Sunday I decided I'd had enough and we've made a decision to get NT membership in a month or so when the weather picks up and it's a bit lighter. I think it'll do us all good and won't cost a bomb and gets us out and about. It's not really my thing but I can see the positives of it. At least it'll feel like we've done something with our weekends and doing and seeing new things. It's also a plan for the weekend; gives us a framework.

I spend a lot of time thinking up things to do and discounting them and then feeling guilty. I think cos they're still little and it's hard to please both of them. I know they'll be some sort of battle or tantrum and I just can't be ARSED with that!

Just booked the two big ones into stagecoach, so that's three hours on a sat taken up...

The endless fighting, mess, requests for fucking snacks.

I think we must have the same children

I love the weekends as its the 2 days we can spent 24/2 with the boys, and we jam pack our days with them, they have activities they do on a weekend, but once that's done with we so lots, be it a bike ride, fish and chips at the beach, pub lunches, shopping, parks, football on a grass field, meeting friends and family for Sunday lunch, or a kick about on the field.

Take today, its FIL birthday tomorrow and they have made him a birthday banner with photo, drawn pictures, and painted pictures hand and foot prints, messages of memories etc...they've also baked him a cake and iced it themselves, (it looks vile )

One night a week, we have movies nights, or just allow them to play on their computers for a few hours, as during the week their schedules are hectic.

Lol JamieFraser! It looks vile, that made me laugh.

I think you're much better at 'miming' than me. I've lost all enthusiasm for it. It's thankless and dull.

If it were a job, I'd be registered with Reed Legal right now.

*mumming.

Not miming, tho I'm shit at that too.

southpole I AM YOU!

Every word you've typed I have said.
I thought it was mostly caused by having 4 children but I would love to go back to work if DH didn't travel and make it impossible

I don't think the weather helps at this time of year they are all cooped up indoors. At least in the summer they can play outside with friends. My husband works weekend mornings and my 2 are older 9 and 12. They would happilly stay in their pajamas all weekend as they are shattered from school and early rises and eat snacks and do nothing. However they would be on the ipads the whole time lol so there is no chance of that happening. DD does horseriding on a Sat morning then a tumble gym class with a pal. After that she is usually happy with a movie and early dinner. DS has just started high school and now wants to meet pals in town and yesterday they went to the cinema. Me and DD pottered round fretting a bit about him and didn't really settle until we knew he was on the bus home. Different problems when the kids get older x

When I was growing up, my dad took me out every Sunday (usually to the movies) so my mum could get some peace and quiet and we would get quality time. Would your DH be willing to do that? Especially if he works away during the week, some one on one time with the kids would be good.

You are not alone, I discovered Mumsnet about ten years ago, Googling the exact same problem, it's fine now DH and I just go out and leave them at home! Still a bit annoying sometimes, DS1 is 18 but disrupted the TV viewing this evening by forcing one of his younger brothers to smell his stinky slippers!

I'm starting to! Stuck in for 3 weekends running. DH just plants himself on the sofa in front of the TV for the weekend. Blinds drawn lights all off heating on max. The DCs are good & play nicely but are very noisy & energetic & like you say, the constant " mummy, mummy, mummy". My Fitbit easily clocks up 10k plus steps just running round after everyone. Wouldn't occur to DH to ever plan anything. So from this weekend onwards I'm taking some time out for me.