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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is without doubt one of the most irresponsible parenting fails ever?

126 replies

Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 17:52

Talking the dog for a walk, very cold and icy here today. We drove to a common nearby, it's just stunning when it's covered in white frosting.

On the drive alongside the common, there is a pond. A family of five where walking across the large frozen lake!

Three children, mum and dad.

I wanted to stop the car and tell them to get off and to stop putting their children in such massive danger.

OH, said it's none of our business drive on.

Why would you do that, everyone knows it's so bloody dangerous.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 22/01/2017 18:21

If you live in a place don't you know how deep or shallow water is? Or is that just my Scandinavian upbringing speaking?

Original poster
Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 18:21

Violet, not sure we were a distance so couldn't identify boys/girls. Were they walking in SW19?

OP posts:
user1484317265 · 22/01/2017 18:21

Is it a pond or a large frozen lake? Can't be both.

Original poster
Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 18:24

Is the water there more than knee-deep?

Ok, so say the water is just under knee high. Ice breaks in one place, child slips through and under the rest of the ice. How do you rescue this child? Break more ice, which way has the child gone? Two hysterical other children, parents panicking?

I'm not sure that unless the lake is so shallow that it's a large puddle that it's safe to walk on.

OP posts:
user1471516536 · 22/01/2017 18:25

I was at the lake you're talking about today... Saw a LOT of people walking on it.
Not quite as irresponsible as you might think since most were walking around on the edges where you can see the bottom- no danger of anything other than a wet foot. Someone had made a hole so that you can see how thick the ice was and people were measuring it. It was at least 3in thick.
If the family in question were right out in the middle it would have been irresponsible but around the edges I don't see that it is deep enough to cause issues.

DemelzaP · 22/01/2017 18:25

Corythatwas How would you know that? Do all bodies of water in Scandinavia have measuring rules in them?

Original poster
Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 18:26

User, a large and as far as I know fairly deep expanse of water! Is that ok with you?

Don't actually know the definition of pond/lake and fail to see the actual relevance for the purpose of this thread!

OP posts:
WyfOfBathe · 22/01/2017 18:26

YANBU, people going on "frozen" lakes in the UK drives me mad.

There's a lake near the school where I work, and it's on a lot of the student's ways home. Every winter we have the park rangers phoning the school to tell us that they've just caught another one of our students either on the ice or throwing another student's possessions onto it. We've done announcements in assembly, phoned the parents (when we've known which student did it), sent notices in the newsletter, even sent SMT to stand around the lake at the beginning and end of school to try and stop it - and yet the students still don't get the message.

But what horrifies me more than our teenage students doing it, is the fact that young pupils from the local primary are also caught doing it - often while under the supervision of their parents or carers!

Buttercupsandaisies · 22/01/2017 18:30

I expect it wasn't that deep if it's frozen enough to be able to walk on it. We have a huge pond near us but at its deepest it's only 3ft so no danger at all really

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara · 22/01/2017 18:31

And the Darwin award goes to...

Original poster
Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 18:32

User the OP states they were walking across the pond/lake. So from one side to the other and crossing the middle. I doubt you are talking about the correct pond/lake, the popular one you probably referring to cannot be be seen from a car. Assuming you have the right place.

Also, only getting wet feet by walking by the edge.....teaches children great respect for the dangers of frozen ponds/lakes??

I actually cannot believe that you think it's ok? Were you the family?

OP posts:
SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 22/01/2017 18:33

Depends on how long it's been freezing and how thick the ice is. We skated on a frozen loch when we were kids, but the ice was a foot thick and it had been record breakingly cold. We haven't had anything like those temperatures.

Original poster
Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 18:34

Buttercup can a child not slip under ice and not be able to get out or anyone be able to get to them if it's 3ft deep?

Really???

OP posts:
DeadMorose · 22/01/2017 18:36

YANBU
They are idiots. I would've called the police.

I once had to save two 5 year olds when they fell through the ice on the pond. The water was just reaching my chest, so too deep for them to stand. I ended up in scratches because ice couldn't carry me, so had to break my way through.
By the time I got to them, one wasn't breathing, the other one was holding on the edge of the ice.
When I lift them up, they were very heavy and I could barely hold their heads above the water. I definitely couldn't carry them both back. Luckily some man came to help and carried them out.
Anyway, then there was some breathing in to this boy's mouth and pumping his chest. And he was fine in the end. He should be around 11 now.

I'm still seeing nightmares over this. His purple face and foam coming out of his mouth...

Soubriquet · 22/01/2017 18:38

Jeez that's pretty bad.

My dogs ran on the ice one year of the local river.

I was frantically panicking they would go through and was stood at the side trying to coax them

Not once did I step on the ice as I knew it wasn't safe for me.

Luckily they did come back and didn't go through the ice.

If I saw a family with children, I don't think I could keep quiet. I would never forgive myself if any of those kids died in the water

Original poster
Charlie97 · 22/01/2017 18:39

DeadMorose, how awful for you! Yes you are right in hindsight I should've called the police. If the event happened again I would.

Where were the parents of the five year olds?

Flowers
OP posts:
EweAreHere · 22/01/2017 18:49

DeadMorose, their families were very lucky you were there and knew you could get them out (due to the depth of the water versus you). What on earth did they say when they found out what had happened to their children?!

I would have called the police had I seen children in the middle of a 'frozen' pond around here. They're not thick enough to be safe here right now.

Megatherium · 22/01/2017 18:51

I'm not sure that unless the lake is so shallow that it's a large puddle that it's safe to walk on.

I suspect it was. It just hasn't been cold enough in SW London for ice to get thick enough to bear the weight of one person, let alone a number of them, so I suspect that the reality is that this was just a thin layer over solid ground.

NoBetterName · 22/01/2017 18:52

I used to live in the Netherlands where people regularly skate in natural ice in winter. They were incredulous that we consider it to be very dangerous here (though I don't think they necessarily realized that the ice doesn't freeze as hard over here due to the island climate) and would insist they'd been brought up to learn how to test the ice.

Is it possible that rather than being stupid as most people are suggesting, they simply come from a country where walking or skating on natural ice is considered quite normal? If this is the case, they may not be aware how much thinner the ice tends to be here in comparison to other countries.

Just a thought.

corythatwas · 22/01/2017 18:54

DemelzaP Sun 22-Jan-17 18:25:59
"Corythatwas How would you know that? Do all bodies of water in Scandinavia have measuring rules in them?"

If you lived in a place, you'd know from talking to other locals, just as you would know where the current goes (vital for ice safety) and other matters of interest/potential safety. If you grew up in a place you'd have it drummed into you from a young age: don't go near that end of the lake, it's deep and has a strong current.

Just as here in the UK, I know where the main road is and where there is a cycle path and where I can find a level crossing. When I first allowed my dc to walk to the shops I showed them where it was safe to cross the road. Of course I can't arrive in a new area and instinctively know these things, but I would make it my business to find out.

But I accept that the British don't have the same intimate connection with the natural environment.

IonaNE · 22/01/2017 18:55

OP, I spent every winter during my childhood skating on a frozen river about 5 metres deep, often during PE (the school even had skates, for those who did not have their own). We would do this when there was an inch of water on top of the ice (=beginning to melt) and when it was cracking at the bank. In addition you have to cut holes every 100 metres or so (so the fish can breathe). You are overthinking and overworrying this.

(Also if a child breaks through in the middle of a pond, they don't just slip under the ice and 10 metres away from the hole in a second.)

Spudlet · 22/01/2017 18:56

Someone I know went into a frozen pond once after his dog... big bloke, all dressed for a day's shooting (so lots of warm, waterproof layers).

He was in there for a matter of minutes but he was so cold he couldn't speak when he got out, had to be taken straight to the nearest place to warm up. (The dog got out too, lived to a ripe old age, in case anyone is worried!).

A child? In normal park walk clothing? Not good.

Not clever of the parents, not at all.

corythatwas · 22/01/2017 18:59

I am not necessarily sure that the OP is overthinking this: it very much depends on the actual local conditions.

Certainly we always had it drummed into us at school how dangerous nature is- as well as being a natural and necessary part of our lives- and how essential it is to know what you're doing.

corythatwas · 22/01/2017 19:02

And I have done ice-bathing at New Year. Did me no harm- but you do have to be careful about how long you stay in.

IonaNE · 22/01/2017 19:02

Someone I know went into a frozen pond once after his dog... big bloke, all dressed for a day's shooting (so lots of warm, waterproof layers)(...)A child? In normal park walk clothing? Not good
Aaaaarrrrrgh! If you have to rescue someone from icy water, you undress (unless you have a wetsuit on), your "warm, waterproof layers" won't help in icy water, they will be a disadvantage.