To not go to my sisters wedding

[user1483804139]

It's not til next year but we rarely see or speak to each other.

Hazel I don't think that quite works. You don't go to funerals for the dead, you go for those left behind. I don't see my sister but would probably go to her funeral for my parents. I wouldn't go to her wedding though.

Having just read another 'sister' thread I have to say it's so shocking to me that sisters could feel like this about one another. I cannot imagine ever falling out with my sister - we've never even argued! I wonder if its because there is a 9 year age gap between us (so not as much competition)?
My dh doesn't really talk to his db and I find it so sad.

I wasn't invited to my dsis's wedding and my views of her have changed since then.

Sweary, quite the opposite, if I went to my sisters funeral I would be criticised for being a hypocrite, as it is well known we have been "distant" for the last 25 years.
A lot depends on whether it is about the" occasion" as opposed to the "relationship" and whether or not the OP feels that at some time in the future she feels that they can be reconciled

In which case I apologise Hazel

I find a lot of people on here look at their functional families and try to apply the behaviours/standards/values in those to the dysfunctional families many of us post about. I wish that like Bushy I couldn't imagine falling out with my sister but the family dynamic we grew up in pitted us against each other as adults and we can't have any kind of relationship. It's shit but that's how it is.

I'd find an invitation to a wedding where there has been a dodgy relationship/falling out without any other contact to suggest there's an olive branch or attempt at reconciliation much easier to refuse than one that came with the hope of a future relationship.

As someone who didn't have a single member of her family at my wedding despite inviting them all and no good reason why they didn't attend, think carefully about the message your decline sends out to your sister. Would it be such a huge issue to attend? She will remember this and may not understand why. Which might not be helpful in years to come.

You pick your friends ~ but you are "given" your relatives. Brilliant if you have a really great close family, everyone gets on and is there for one another. Sometimes though, families are not like that for what ever reason. It may well be an olive branch offereing, but it may well not, only the op will really know. People are saying life is too short to fall out with family, but what about: life is too short to try with family?
Op, I hope whatever you choose works and it doesn't cause you too much stress either way. Sorry I know that was really unhelpful in your case

My sister had managed to fall out with my whole family after the new man came into her life. I invited her to my wedding and didn't know if she'd come. She did and then all the fences were mended which meant the world to my mum.

Needs more info
Big wedding ?
Loads of family/ cousins you like and haven't seen for a while
Or big irreconcilable differences and 2 other people invited
I cannot stand one of my sisters and hell would freeze over before I went to her Wedding the fact that she is married to a complete arse is nothing to do with this thread

I don't see my sister that often nor do we communicate very often.

I'd still go to her wedding if invited.

I think we need the OP back to answer some of the questions.

Just go. Suck it up. The fact that you are posting on here tells me that you will regret it if you don't.
She's your sibling, your flesh and blood.

I think it depends, really, so hard to say without more information.

Are you not close because of a significant falling out or having a deep and genuine dislike of each other or is it just because you've drifted apart/are very different/big age gap etc? If it's the former, it would be entirely reasonable to decline the invite (or perhaps considering whether you would like to try and repair the relationship, if you feel it is a genuine olive branch). If it's the latter, I would consider going.

How far away is the wedding- would it be a real hassle/very expensive to get there? If so, could you afford it? Are there other reasons you wouldn't want to go- e.g. illness/disability/planning on being pregnant/are pregnant now and would have small child?

My sister sent me an invite to her wedding a few years ago and I declined. She has always been self absorbed, pushy and manipulative, treating me like a servant on lots of occasions. I was pretty skint at the time, knew I would know very few people and that I was really being asked because in her mind I would have the job of looking after a couple of elderly aunties for the entire day. As I could have predicted the soil hit the fan by me saying no and she has never forgotten or forgiven because I 'ruined' her wedding by not being in the family line-up. Don't think you can win with someone who wants to be like that. Me turning the invite down was my bid for freedom and I don't regret it since the relationship was so low grade anyway.