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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to find having a 3 year old and a 1 year old really hard!

37 replies

Angela0413 · 21/01/2017 12:03

Both are boys and are just so physical, constantly fighting/wrestling/cuddling (the 3 seem to merge together). I struggle to find activities they can both do - anything crafty is a nightmare as 1 year old eats everything, Lego (3 year old builds house, 1 year old knocks it down, 3 year old cries), 1 year old playing with toy 3 year decides he wants it, takes it off him (1 year old cries!). Its just constant. Is this normal?? Does it get easier? PS both boys on own are easy and both are super happy easy going - when they are together they just wind each other up!

OP posts:

MrsSthe3rd · 21/01/2017 14:22

YABNU!

It is hard, which is why you're finding it hard.

I felt like the worst Mum in the world for having these feelings, and because of that I never said anything to anyone.

Lots of and for us all.

MrsSthe3rd · 21/01/2017 14:23

YANBU!!

permanentlyfrazzled1 · 21/01/2017 14:42

Ya def NOT bu! I remember that stage so well, and it was one of the hardest times of my life so far. Two boys, exactly two years between them, both very physical and energetic, we'd just relocated across country, I'd got pnd and was finding playgroups very cliquey as a newcomer, and I seemed to spend all day, every day, shouting at them and ending up in tears. I've never had any family to support me, and with hubbyworking very long hours, there were times that I thought I'd never get through it. Eldest was nocturnal until after his 2nd birthday, and none of mine have ever slept during the day, so the only way I survived was to get as much fresh air as possible every day - walks, picnics, the beach,the woods, kiddie farms - to try to tire them out (and also limit the amount I was shouting at them!!) They're 13 and 11 now and although they do squabble, they are fiercely loyal towards each other. We've since had 2 girls, with just 23 months between them, who haven't been as difficult energy-wise, but who seem unable to speak at anything less than a million decibels and like to whine, whether they've got anything to whine about or not. Parenting is hard, fullstop, but you will get through it, and you will reap the rewards of all your hard work now. Keep smiling!

Pinkponiesrock · 21/01/2017 14:51

I now have 10,6,4 and the first few years at DC3 was born are a blur! The more you have at school/nursery the easier it gets, you just have to sit tight until then and try and hold onto your sanity! Mine all did 2 hours twice a week at a twos group as soon as possible after they turned 2 which helped enormously.

TorchesTorches · 21/01/2017 15:04

I found that stage awful. So hard, so relentless so exhausting. At my lowest, and looking for light at the end of the tunnel, I asked my MIL which stage of her kids life she had liked best. 'Oh, this age!' she said brightly. I went home and cried, thinking that it wouldn't get better. But it does! My youngest is now 4 and life has got better and better from that low point.

Talith · 21/01/2017 15:57

I had this gap and it was exhausting at that stage and there weren't many things they could do together but now they are 9 and 7 they are inseparable. So YANBU but it will get better.

Chrismino · 21/01/2017 17:23

Mine are 3 and 2 and it's bloody hard work, fighting screaming wanting each others toys I think next Christmas I'm gonna swap each other toys night before coz they've just fought over them. I'm hoping it will get easier once my oldest starts school full time in September.

Original poster

Angela0413 · 21/01/2017 18:23

Wow thanks everyone!! Was having a "am I just a complete wuss" moment to find it hard. Feeling much better now!! Not helped that OH been away all week with work. Thanks again!

OP posts:

MrsSthe3rd · 22/01/2017 16:50

It was even worse when my DH wasn't around, so can completely understand that too!

PeridotPassion · 22/01/2017 17:08

I have two ds's who are now 6 and 8. YANBU op!

It was hell on a stick at times when they were both babies/toddlers etc. It's more like herding sheep when you're out than anything and the constant fight/argue/love each other/jumping on each other is knackering!

It's a lovely gap as they get bigger though and mine are now both so so easy and play together. They do argue too, but they're also happy enough to play together without wanting attention all the time. Keep in mind that in the not too distant future (I can't remember exactly...maybe when 3 and 5?) they'll be old enough to play alone.

The first time you're able to say the words 'Right boys, I have some things to do, up to your room and play for a while' is amazing! Peace and quiet downstairs whilst they play!

Mammylamb · 22/01/2017 19:39

I'm knackered with a one year old so you must be horrendously tired

AllGone · 22/01/2017 20:02

I have two boys the same ages as yours. It is exhausting especially as ours aren't great sleepers, although DS2 seems to be getting better.

I just try and get them out of the house as much as possible. We're lucky as we have both sets of grandparents fairly close by so extra pairs of hands are always helpful!

They do really seem to love each other though and I've noticed that they do seem to enjoy spending time together now which is lovely. DS1 is getting much better at sharing so that has helped a lot. I have noticed an improvement in the last few weeks.

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