We are due a baby girl in the next few weeks and have been getting things ready for her. As we already have a DS we already have the big pieces of kit so have splashed out on a couple of bigger things we couldn't justify/afford first time around (like a cosleeping crib instead of the rocking crib that DS never went in).
My mother asked if she could buy something for the baby and I asked if she wouldn't mind helping us out with practical items like nappies and wipes.
MIL however is a bit different. I get that she is excited and we are lucky to have loving families who want to help out but we've been trying to tell her for a while, please don't buy any clothes because we already have a lot of lovely clothes left over from DS and also her taste is very different. She likes all pink, frilly things with logo's about princesses etc which I wouldn't buy personally. She also works in a shop and gets clothes in the clearance (nothing wrong with that) but tends to buy inappropriate things. She bought my son a t shirt with a logo about him being bad like grandad. My DF is dead and I got a bit upset because it was yet another reminder of the grandson he'd never see. She also buys things like a Santa/elf costume which would only fit DS if he were 6 months older/younger. I have tried hiding things in the back of the wardrobe or saying they don't fit but she asks us to dress DS in 'her' clothes when we visit (every week/fortnight) so I don't feel like I have many options.
MIL has now told us that she's coming to see us over the weekend and DH has just told me that she's bringing the clothes she has bought. I thought that because we've been telling her for such a long time that she may have listened and not bought things but it seems not.
What is the reasonable form of action here? Is it just politely accept and dress my baby up as a pink princess or WIBU to say that I would prefer to choose my own clothes for my children.