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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to get rid of dummy now?

12 replies

sillygoof · 20/01/2017 09:16

DD is nearly 3 and has had a dummy since she was tiny. Since around 2 years old she only has it at bedtime.

Over the last few weeks she's been asking for it more during the day, and waking for it more at night. I don't think it's coincidence that my second daughter was born 9 weeks ago! She's been generally whingey for a couple of weeks too, and had a horrible bug last week that has left her with a cough at night too.

It feels cruel to do it now after a big life change and illness, but she's driving me insane with the whinging and asking for the dummy - I want it gone. My theory is that it is making her worse. But I don't want to scar her for life by doing it in the wrong way!

So my AIBU is.... AIBU to get rid of the dummy now, considering that she's had to come to terms with having a baby sister and has been ill too? I'm worried that it's the wrong time, but also that if I keep waiting for the perfect time I will be waiting forever!

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 20/01/2017 09:17

Get rid
Cold turkey
Go for it

NomChanged · 20/01/2017 09:20

Leave it a while given that her world has been turned upside down by the new arrival. Sounds like she's reverting to a babyish source of comfort. Not unreasonable though to continued to keep it strictly to bedtimes though

Good luck

Ilovecaindingle · 20/01/2017 09:21

Make a big deal of her being a big sister. . And big sisters don't have dummies!!
She has likely realised the baby is here to stay now! - and feeling a bit miffed!! Give her some big sis jobs and explain how much babies miss out on!

user1483387154 · 20/01/2017 09:23

Wait until she is no longer ill then get rid of it.

PegEgg · 20/01/2017 09:23

It is her comfort. Something that makes her feel safe when her world has been shaken upside down. I would leave it awhile until she settles.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 20/01/2017 09:25

She's probably just regressing a bit because of life changes and illness. As soon as she's better, tell her now she's a big girl the dummy fairies need the dummy. Then give her a new teddy that she can use as a comforter. Smile

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 20/01/2017 10:01

I'd get rid.

We tricked our youngest around the same age by making the dummy taste not nice...lemon juice worked well for us.

We told her it didn't taste nice anymore because she was a big girl. After two days of sour dummies and the same message she stopped asking.

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 20/01/2017 10:03

Posted too soon.

She was fine with it, no extra tears and slept fine at night. Just being offered a source tasting dummy each time was enough of a deterrent.

honeylulu · 20/01/2017 10:11

Does the baby have a dummy? If so this could complicate things!
My friend tried to get her daughter off dummy when her son was born but daughter just used to take baby's out of his mouth and suck it.

sillygoof · 20/01/2017 10:50

Baby does have a dummy, the big girl has never tried to suck it or anything - they're very clearly baby's, she will pick it up and give it to her when she's crying but never tried it herself. But that might be different when they're the only dummies in the house!

OP posts:
LTBforGin · 20/01/2017 11:05

I'd let her have the dummy. It's comfort for her in an unsettling time.

Two of mine had dummies. One until 4.one until 5. Judge away if you wish but it gave them huge comfort along with their teddy. They were only allowed it at bedtime/ill from about 3/4.

Their teeth and speech are fine.

confusedandemployed · 20/01/2017 11:09

I don't think this is the time. Be strict about bedtime only use but don't take it away. DD gave hers up voluntarily aged just over 3. She'd dropped the bottle quickly and most other babyish comforts, I let that she could keep that one until she was ready to let it go.

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