Biscuit police -AIBU?

[Supermagicsmile]

There is no rule on buying biscuits, if the team are gifted any we put them out in the staff room and all enjoy them.

One woman at work had taken it upon herself to monitor and ration the biscuits/sweets as she sees fit.

Yesterday we were given a box of chocolates. I was looking forward to having one but they were not in the staffroom. I was told X had put them away because we already had some biscuits out (they were the dregs of a Christmas box that no-one wanted to eat.)

She will often appear at random times with a new box of sweets/chocolates that were donated and she was keeping 'safe.'

I also noticed that at the end of our break last week she took the whole box of biscuits with her to stop anyone eating them when it wasn't our collective break time (we don't all have breaks together everyday so feel this is unfair as when we are in the staffroom there is often nothing to eat at all.) she has not bought any of these herself so has no more 'claim' on them than anyone else.

Aibu to think it should not be up to her what we eat and when?

You're all much calmer than me by now I'd have erupted and shouted something along the lines of "put the fucking biscuits back you sociopath".
I really don't like it when people restrict my access to food 😂

I'd have to now go and buy at least 15 boxes of biscuits, open them all and place them on random communal desk areas throughout the office with notes saying "help yourself, not to be removed by anyone"

She's bonkers.

I really like Goosey's idea.

I had a control freak office manager who used to withold all finance paperwork meant for me until she was ready to have a 10 minute meeting with me to explain what each thing was. She'd take a high lighter to each document and highlight the words 'invoice' 'statement' or 'remittance advice' and the total at the bottom. Then she'd hand each individual piece to me and say "this is an invoice" "this is a statement"

I'd been working in accounts for years, she had absolutely no finance experience whatsoever.

Thankfully she left when we got a new boss who figured out she did fuck all but keep copies of all documents in piles on her desk and highlight them in an attempt to look busy.

I don't hate easily, but that woman made my life fucking miserable.

This thread is fabulous!

You could create some forms and leave them on the table where the biscuits go..

BISCUIT REQUEST FORM

Name Department _

No of hours worked per week Days worked per week __

I would like to claim _ of my pro-rata allocated biscuit allowance,

for consumption on __ [date] tea break /lunch time (delete as appropriate)

Please submit request to PITA biscuit monitor with two days notice of intent to eat.

Request agreed/denied (delete as appropriate) by PITA biscuit monitor

but I guess it would be a bit unkind

We have a biscuit monitor.

We have a tuck shop where you can buy biscuits and crisps for 20p, so she gets multipack kitkats, rockys, timeouts etc. (I much appreciate her efforts going to buy them)
One man was having a team meeting and wanted to buy some for his team. he choose to buy 5 Yorkie biscuits.
She refused to sell them to him, because some biscuits cost more than 20p each and the cheaper ones make up the difference so therefore he had to buy a variety of biscuits.
He declined to buy any.

I will never understand why taking 20p for 5 biscuits from one man and taking 20p for 5 biscuits of 5 people makes anything other that £1!

Yes do what balloon Slayer says!!

Obviously each form needs line manager approval and signature prior to submission to biscuit monitor.

Ohh do a biscuit requisition form!!! DOOOO ITTTT!

You need it to be signed off & witnessed in triplicate - applicant, biscuit monitor and management.

It's probably her life's dream to be in charge of the stationery cupboard

brilliant.

Buy some really posh biscuits and 'save them for you and the team members' because I'm petty like that it will teach her to not be tight with them next time.

BalloonSlayer are you said biscuitzilla? 😂

I really want a biscuit now!

Mee too.

You and your colleague club together and get some of these OP.

Then don't share with biscuitzilla tell them they've got to fill out the biscuit request form.

www.biscuiteers.com/

She has also made a laminated poster with a picture of a Forever Friends hedgehog on it which she's put in the ladies loo with a reminder to change the toilet roll on the holder if you finish the last piece.

Why a hedgehog? What's a hedgehog got to do with changing the loo roll?

You have to steal the biscuits!

Absolutely!
Force the issue. Bring things to a head. Flush her OUT!
It's the only way. She will go into meltdown

In my workplace (not Local Government but yes to public sector for those who asked) no-one would bat an eyelid at the biscuit requisition form.

We have forms for everything, some of which no-one has any idea what the purpose actually is. I once looked after a service I had worked in while the usual team leader was on sick leave and one of my duties was to sign a particular form for each batch of work in three places and I asked what I was signing for.

No-one could tell me why the form had to be signed or give me examples of when the form should and shouln't be signed, just that I had to sign the form three times or the work couldn't happen and that was the way that we had always done it.

I tried suggesting that they could consider the form automatically signed seeing as there appeared to be no identifiable reason not to sign it, but that didn't wash. So I pointlessly signed my pile of forms each day and the world kept on turning.

You have to say something and report back. Or just smash up the cupboard she keeps them in and get them all out on the table.

Preferably today so I can avoid doing my tax return for a bit longer.

This is nearly as fun as a parking thread - is your colleague possibly employed by a New Zealand consulate?

Hahaha, I love Flight of the Conchords.

Ahh, Jermaine, rejected....lol.

goosey that's brilliant, OP please do this!

We have someone at work who has asked us all to give him a bollocking if seen eating office biscuits or chocolates.

I thought this thread was about that as I had to give such a bollocking this week and confiscated chocolate until home time

"lol @ Big Davey."

"I'm picturing Big Keith from The Office"

Or Big Willy, from packaging (he can play the theme tune from Cagney and Lacey on his ocarina, don't you know ).

If I were the OP, I'd be going to Poundland and buying as many packets of biscuits as I could, for as little money, and then I'd leave them on the side, one pack at a time, for people to share, and watch as she squirrelled each pack away for later - then I'd put out another pack - wait until it was put away - and put out another one - and I'd keep doing this until she either ran out of space for all the biscuits, or freaked out as yet another one appeared.

I do like the biscuit requisition form, though!

This will never bring out the best in people. You know that you have a duty to subvert her efforts OP don't you?

Wrapping chocolate biscuit foil around non biscuit items would be a start.

Can I also recommend that find your own FF picture and produce a suitable laminated poster - preferably with a poem - demanding the return of the biscuits?

Wrapping chocolate biscuit foil around non biscuit items would be a start.

You are all evil geniuses.

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