Postnatal depression

[LouBlue1507]

Hi

I've been told by a University tutor who is trained in mental health that I need to see a GP because she thinks I have depression. My health visitor thinks I may have a mixture of depression and anxiety. I'm going to the GPs tomorrow. I never thought it would be me

None of us ever think it will be us. DS was much wanted, much prepared for, an amazing pregnancy followed by a bloody painful, but entirely reasonable, birth. PND still knocked me flying.

If you do need support, please take it. All of it that you want or need. The bits you don't want, think about if you need them- maybe you do.

Look after yourself and your baby. This is an illness that can be treated, there will be an end.

Thank you.

My DD is 6 months and we have an amazing bond but I'm struggling coping with trying to be a good mum and a good student. The guilt is overwhelming, I feel useless and rubbish. My DP is amazing but nothing he does/says makes me feel any better. I feel so awful for him

Bloody baby hormones can really knock you off kilter. Sorry you're not in a good place right now.

I've been taking medication for PND and it made everything much easier to deal with. You're definitely not alone in this!

Do you need to be studying now or can you take a break for a few months? Reducing what you are focussing on may help you cope- although definitely not a cure on its own.

Focus and you and DD, your DP and your relationship. They are the important things.

Firstly, congratulations on your baby and your studies. That's tough stuff and many people can't manage juggling both.

Secondly, this is nothing against you. It unfortunately happens to anyone, and it's a flaw in chemistry, not your character.

You're really lucky that you have people who are around willing to help and support you.

Being the best you can be- as a mother or anything else- means getting help where you need it. You'll be glad you did.

All the best

Congratulations on you dd op and wow at you already being back at uni.

My midwife told me not to think of PND as anything to feel bad about. She told me to think of it as a chemical imbalance in my body that needed correcting, just the same as anaemia is an imbalance that needs correcting. I know you didn't think it would be you, but remember that there is no shame in PND. If you asked all your friends with babies if they have had PND you'd probably be surprised how many people do get it and from every background.

I hope you get on well at your GP surgery tomorrow.

Also I don't know how your general diet / lifestyle is at the moment but for me personally being really tired (which is a given for you anyway ATM I'm sure with a young baby and uni) just exacerbated any anxiety I had.

Can you get your partner to do a few of the nights if he doesn't already so you can get some decent sleep?

Also when I'm not eating properly I always get anaemia, which is also more common in women and after giving birth and this always causes me to feel really anxious (apparently it's common according to NHS website and a few other webpages. But whether it's research proven or not I'm not sure. But I do know I always know when I'm anaemic again when I start getting anxious about things)

So again it's not going to cure PND but making sure you don't have anything underlying like anaemia might be a good idea too when you see the GP as anything like that will just make you feel even more run down.

As for uni, can you keep up with the workload or do you need a break? Because again there is no shame in not being able to manage it all.
Lots of women take a years maternity leave (I did) I can't imagine how tiring it must be to be at uni full time, with a young baby and doing assignments and having exams to study for etc.
If you can't manage it all right now then one extra year before you finish your course isn't going to be really bad in the grand scheme of things just weigh up your options.

If you can manage uni then carry on but if you can't then give yourself a break.

All the best

Lou well done for getting some help. It will be OK, I feel sure.

Good luck.