6 months

[BemoWax]

DP and I will have been "official" for 6 months come tomorrow.

I realise that's not very long or a big deal to most people but I was thinking of marking it in some way.

Is that totally stupid? I was thinking something jokey, like a wee cake with a cheesy note or something attached to it?

He's the least romantic person ever and I know 6 months isn't anything special so I don't want to do anything soppy or special.

Be careful. I had a boyfriend when I was 18-21 who did this on a regular basis. It's very controlling behaviour-don't stand for it. It was slow and clever.

For example seeing me every day from the day the relationship started for about 3-4 months. We didn't live near each other it was really full on. He would take me out for meals, sometimes up to twice per day, to the point I would only get a drink because I was not hungry! Then after a month sat down and said "oh I can't afford you" and I said "it's fine, we don't have to go out as much" (it had seemed a bit much anyway) and then he said "no I still want to go out but I just want you to pay for more." I was a bit shocked because I had offered to pay and he had declined saying he wanted to treat me....then came this? There were far more problems than that but these were right within the first month. I wish I'd had more self respect and left him sooner.

Thanks Mammy and sorry you went through that, it sounds horrible. I had an ex who would do things like that to me, demand to see me and then say I was being clingy if I showed up. I had four years of it and I'm still affected by it.

He apologised when he woke up and said nothing was really wrong he was just shattered and didnt want to talk etc. Which is fine, but he could've just said so.

That's it, it's awful! It's fine being tired but as you say, just say "I'm tired"!!

Oh I know, I look back and wonder why I was so desperate to stay with him? He was awful. He recently got back in touch to ask about a colleague of mine he was planning on meeting up with from a dating website. I felt quite smug TBH. I met my husband after I split with him and have a lovely family. And despite him saying I'd never have anything without him....it appears karma has well and truly come into play!

Haha, obviously karma has bitten him in the arse then, you're quite right to feel smug. It's funny how clearly you see the situation once you take yourself out of it!

Glad to hear you found someone worthwhile after being with such a knob for so long .

He's just got you to accept his behaviour. Its not fine.
Not bothering with valentines day is a bit odd as well. Did he suggest that? Because if you were planning to do something to celebrate 6 months, I'd find it odd if it were your idea.

Honestly, there are several red flags here.

Um this is a huge red flag.

Get out now.

Haha that's ok Navy, I hope your DS and his gf have a lovely time

He asked me "what are we doing for valentines day?" and I said, "probably nothing, I've never bothered with it". He agreed.

It was just a silly idea, he hasn't even mentioned it and I'm not fussed. I just thought 6 months was a nice amount of time to acknowledge things are going well/ I appreciate him. Makes more sense to me to do it that way than on Valentines day which is generic to everyone?

DJ what are the several red flags you see? I've a history of abusive relationships and now worried that I'm missing something major.