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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be offended by these comments about the area I live in?

46 replies

TaliDiNozzo · 18/01/2017 18:28

I live in an area that is thought to be a bit rough. The reputation was perhaps warranted at one stage (15 years ago it was a bit dodgy) and some areas of the estate are not desirable although speaking as someone who lives here there aren't any parts that are particularly no-go after dark etc.

Someone I know has gone on Facebook to make a joke that the estate is going to be destroyed by fire and another person has commented on the post to say they really hoped so. Both these people like to think of themselves as comedians so they probably think they are being hilarious but quite frankly I've had enough of the comments.

This is the place I have chosen to live in and raise my children in because it's a nice community with lovely neighbours (they both know I live here through choice) and I am sick of the comments about it. I don't think I'm being precious.

Tbh I don't know what I want people to say to this, I clearly just know some moronic people.

OP posts:

WaitrosePigeon · 19/01/2017 10:26

Why would they say that then, if it's clearly not the case?

Original poster

TaliDiNozzo · 19/01/2017 12:14

I addressed that in the OP, Waitrose. I think other people have said similar things wrt their home areas.

Difficult for an area to shake off a reputation even if it hasn't been warranted for 15+ years.

But tbh that's not so much the issue, it's the fact that these people make flippant offensive comments knowing I may see them, which I did.

OP posts:

dollydaydream114 · 19/01/2017 12:33

They're being rude and snobby and it's not unreasonable to be offended by their comments.

A couple of people I worked with used to make similar remarks about somewhere I lived because parts of that area had previously been very poor and rundown.

I would quite like to track them down and point out that we just made a substantial profit from selling our property there and that the area is now full of young professionals and being targeted by trendy developers as a prime city centre location.

Strongmummy · 19/01/2017 12:37

I wouldn't sit on your hands I'd reply to them. Mainly to remind them that you live there, you're happy there and they should may be keep their comments to themselves

scaredoffallout · 19/01/2017 13:00

YANBU

Makes me think about the time there was an attempted burglary in my house. The thief got in but then scarpered as he heard me get up. It was very frightening as it was only me and ds at home. I was pregnant and ds was 2 at the time.

Anyway, when I told my snobbish friend about it, she asked why anyone would break into a house on my road .

She used to aspire to living in Hampstead in London but couldn't afford it. Then moved to Bristol and told everyone that she had moved to the equivalent of Hampstead there. Just why.

Stonewash · 19/01/2017 13:07

YANBU. I would have to answer back. "I'd rather keep my house and neighbours if that's OK with you!"

EineKleine · 19/01/2017 13:45

I think you should reply somehow, not in a way that shows you're taking it to heart but something like "how ruuuuude!!" or take their "hilarious" tone and say it's a myth perpetuated by your PR company to keep twats out of the neighbourhood. Or something else funnier than that, someone else will have a better comeback.

i get comments about the brand of my car sometimes. Yes there are some idiots about, don't let them get to you.

Fruitcocktail6 · 19/01/2017 13:51

I'm currently reading a police detective novel based in my area, I didn't even realise until I started it. I'm actually quite offended by the way it describes it! It's odd really as the average three bed semi detached would cost over 700k to buy, so can't be that rough.

Dashper · 19/01/2017 16:26

Fruit did the author actually visit your area before writing? My town has a crime novel set in it and it's really derogatory. The author admitted to my book group that she'd not been to the town before.

PollytheDolly · 19/01/2017 16:28

Postcode snobs eh?

We live in a place like you. It's lovely and no longer warrants its reputation but mud sticks I guess.

user1484317265 · 19/01/2017 16:36

But if that is their opinion of the place, they are entitled to think so.

The estate I grew up on was rough back then, and its no better now. I wouldn't live their if you paid me, I loathe the place. I'm sure some of the people who live there find it a nice place to live and have a very different opinion of it than I do. That's valid, and fine, but it doesn't change my opinion or make it any less valid than theirs.

The way they said it might be the rude bit, but they are entitled to the opinions on the area same as you are. If you are offended by the jokes that is one thing, but if you are offended by people thoughts that is your own tough luck.

DJBaggySmalls · 19/01/2017 16:43

I wouldnt reply, its only rising to the bait. We get the same about our area.

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 19/01/2017 17:02

YANBU they are rude to tell you that

I am a bit uptight sometimes and I guess I would qualify many areas as rough, but not when talking to someone living there!
You say your neighborhood is not rough, no "no go" zones, but would you feel safe wearing say a luxury handbag or jewelery? That is my criteria to define rough (not that i wear many luxurious items on a daily basis though)

Fruitcocktail6 · 19/01/2017 17:13

Dashper it doesn't seem like she did. During the drive from the police station to murder scene they suddenly switch the direction they're coming from.

I admit there are some unsavoury places in the borough, but not to the extent she writes!

DailyFaily · 19/01/2017 17:23

I think people forget who they have on their friends list when they post on Facebook sometimes, I imagine if they had thought about it, and registered that you would read it, they might not have posted (unless they're truly socially unaware). I would have to reply, probably something PA along the lines of 'well let's hope I'm out when it happens or are you hoping all the residents will also be destroyed?'

HalfwayMe · 19/01/2017 17:33

You say your neighborhood is not rough, no "no go" zones, but would you feel safe wearing say a luxury handbag or jewelery?

I live in an area that has a notorious reputation (mostly based on stuff that happened decades ago) and I'd happily do either.

I like to think of it as a fun secret. The notorious no - go zone... With tons of kids groups, a library with reading and knitting clubs, park-runs and a pub with excellent pub quiz. And you get to avoid the Hyacinths of the world. Win win.

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 19/01/2017 17:50

Halfway I guess I deserve it... at least I am aware of it

Kr1stina · 19/01/2017 19:41

I'm delighted to see that parkrun is now an indicator of poshness instead of delis and coffee shops

alltouchedout · 19/01/2017 19:52

would you feel safe wearing say a luxury handbag or jewelery? That is my criteria to define rough

bibbitybobbityyhat · 19/01/2017 20:03

Yanbu.

We have whole threads about what a shit hole London is on Mumsnet .

Yeah, right, nearly 10 million of us choose to live somewhere "dodgy".

Original poster

TaliDiNozzo · 19/01/2017 21:11

Yes I absolutely would feel safe wearing jewellery or an expensive handbag in my local area, and we have a park run very nearby!

In all honesty, even 15+ years ago the reputation wasn't warranted. It just happens to be an estate that has a lot of local authority housing and that seems to be enough for these people to judge without knowing anything. One of them has never even lived in the county let alone the town so it's ridiculous.

OP posts:

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