to go back to work?

[Bibblewanda]

MIL thinks I should be staying at home with ds (9 months) as we can afford it. DH is a high earner and I'm not. But I really need to go back to work - I miss my job. I love my son but being at home all the time is driving me mad. MIL is very disapproving of this and thinks if I can't bring myself to not work I should be looking for a new job which only requires one day a week.

I will be going back to my role part time, 4 days a week with one of those days from home and slightly condensed hours of 9-4, plus an hours commute door to door including childminder drop off and pick up. I like my job and my boss is great - very very flexible. I know for instance she won't mind at all if I need to take time off if ds is sick. But MIL says this is too much and I won't be able to cope and nor will ds.

I now feel shit. AIBU to be going back to work?

i've worked in kids development research for years - the worst thing for children is a Sahm who does not want to be one, but does so for other reasons (like cultural expectations). Not much (if any) difference between dedicated sahm who love to be sahm, and working parents + nursery or childminde etc setup. Children in relatively early childcare tend do develop slightly (!) different strengths/weaknesses than children staying at home, but nothing that can be measured reliably. so, no need to feel guilty!

You'll be fine, so will your little one! I too am in the fortunate position I could choose not to work, but instead I work full time, and both mine have been in Nursery since 9 months. I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM, I love my job, using my brain, the adult conversation, being able to pop for coffee/lunch or round the shops in my lunch break etc. Whilst I work 8-4, work are very flexible, so I can do longer or shorter days if needed, work from home, fit in kids appointments at Drs, etc. Both mine love Nursery which I guess helps and I am 100% confident in my choice of childcare provider and trust them explicitly (they've been great with my daughter's health conditions). We have a cleaner for a couple of hours during the week, and I make sure our weekends and evenings are all family time. You've got to do what's right for you and your family, ignore your MIL!

It really is none of your MIL's business.
If you're fortune enough to have a flexible job you enjoy, for the love of god don't give it up!

fortunately for us all what the MIL thinks is none of our business good for you wanting your independence and finding a job that's so appealing. have it all!!

My mother was like this but I ignored her and went back to work full time! And we don't need the money.
My kids are happy and healthy and well-adjusted.
You will be fine. Far better to have a happy working mum than a stay at home one who misses working.
Glad your DH is supportive

If you want to work, do it. None of MIL's business unless you are telling her she has to help/babysit/cook/clean or be in any way inconvenienced by it. She needs to butt out.
I went back when Ds1 was 6 weeks, and he's just fine. He's an adult, he's not scared for life or anything.

That sounds like you have a lovely, understanding employer and 9-4 - not to mention WFH opportunities - is not to be sniffed at. Three years will go by all too quickly and your current arrangement will (almost) fit in eith school hours.

That, coupled with the fact you like your job and want to do it, make it a no brainer imho.

I am a SAHM by choice but I don't think it's something to do lightly, or half-heartedly.

MIL has no right to comment on your career/parenting choices. Do whatever works for you and ignore the snide remarks.

I work full time with two kids, have always worked full time apart from maternity leave - it's tough sometimes but I wouldn't be willing to give up my career & independence even if I could afford not to. Staying at home full time would be my idea of hell and I certainly wouldn't do it because someone else thinks I should!!?!