Unable to cope with the way DH eats!

[Biscuits500]

I have never before understood people who claim that 'loud eaters are the worst', until one day I realised I was sat next to one; worse still I had MARRIED them! Perhaps they have always chewed this way, but I was previously blinded (deafened?) by love. Or perhaps this is all just a twisted test of my love. Either way, I cannot fathom why DH would decide to consume food in such an infuriating fashion. It is somewhat reminiscent of a washing machine, on steroids. It is more bearable when I turn the TV up, but I imagine it won't be long before my sudden interest in the dialogue of The Antiques Roadshow raises suspicions.

DH has suffered with self esteem issues in the past, so I'm worried that if I mention anything, no matter how light heartedly, DH will take offense and become self conscious when eating forevermore. I'm worried that if I don't, I will snap one day and throw out every scrap of food in the house just so I can have one peaceful, food-free evening. Now I've noticed it, I can't help but focus on it every time DH eats anything at all. Perhaps it is my issue and I'll just have to grit my teeth for the rest of my life???

is he chewing with his mouth open? (i'm asking as usually that's how it gets louder). if so, straightforward, tell him to chew with his mouth closed. i say this as i have a H that often chews with his mouth stuff and open. also if you have DC, you can use that in an PA way i suppose without directly saying to him. For example, i say to 3 year old DS, we don't chew with our mouth open at the table, we don't make rude noises, we put one thing in at a time (H has a nasty habit of stuffing so much in his mouth it either hangs out til he's chewed a bit, or hes a chipmunk), we don't throw food on the floor, etc etc. would that work?

I feel your pain. My husband, after 20 years of being a civilised human being, now eats like a pig. Sticking his tongue out to greet his food and literally wrapping it around the fork whilst he's doing it. It's so revolting that I'm mesmerised and horrified all at once. The only saving grace is that it'll end one day in the future when he puts the last gargantuan forkful into his gob and chokes on it!

I can't tell him. I think he'd cry!

This is the unfathomable thing, he eats fairly normal sized mouthfuls (as far as I can tell) and always eats with mouth closed. I think he must be swirling it around all over the place in there but still managing to do a rubbish job of actually breaking the food down because he swallows incredibly loudly too. There are no bad manners to subtly (or not so subtly) point out, and sadly no DC to make an example of. Now when we have guests over I'm starting to suffer second hand embarrassment, as I know loud chewing is an issue for a lot of people... Including me now!

Oh my goodness Iseesheep, that cracked me up - I fear that may be the way I feel in the not so distant future.

My dh eats so so loud even though he has his mouth shut it sounds lie a washing machine going round . It's awful. I tell him all the time . The first time I heard him eat I was really shocked at the noise tbh

is it possible you have that condition - misophonia? is it possible that he's not really eating that loudly but the misophonia is making you more sensitive to it? if that's the case, you may be able to look up some strategies to deal with it. but for meantime, perhaps ear plugs during meals and if he asks, tell him you think you've got misophonia. have you noticed it when you eat with other people? i mean, the noise from other people bothering you?

Emerdalefan I'm pleased I'm not the only person to be astonished by this ventriliquist-esque ability!

Expat I don't have a general issue, it is very much specific to my DH. I can't say I've noticed a single other person chewing before, unless it's something crunchy like crisps, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest. This is on a whole other level and I'm pretty certain it's not my imagination - I can hear it from across the room. Your reply has inspired me to perhaps approach it from a more general perspective, maybe just mentioning how loudly some people chew - it may inspire DH to consider his strange method

My DH sounds like he is slapping his chops around. Doesn't do it when we go out funnily enough, but at home jeeze it flaming well winds me up. I do tell him to eat with his mouth closed and eat quieter but he gets all stroppy about it.

Do you think his got a toothache? Might explain why his suddenly chewing loudly. I used to have trouble eating with toothache when I had braces.

Or a possible earache, that makes chewing uncomfortable and could cause the noisy eating.

Mine is the same. I can only surmise the noise is echoing around his cranium

I regularly remove myself from the situation lest I accident murder him.

(Mine also does the annoying 'putting food in his mouth far too hot and rolling it round whilst blowing in and out')

OMG you are not alone! My DP does it when he's particularly enjoying a meal. Still fucking irritating. I give him a look and he says "am I eating loud again?" It's quite sweet now really sometimes

We have a family friend who does this, he's an older man who's never had a wife to impress. He comes for dinners regularly and he's lovely but I can't watch him eat he just slurps everything and stuff is always on his chin it's bloody awful

Oh god. I could've posted this (and nearly have a few times.)

I have to leave the room.

Don't get me started on the morning phlegm hawking...

My husband slurps his drinks around his mouth sucking it back and forth between his teeth. It drives me insane.