Please educate me about ADHD

[Maryhadalittlelambstew]

Hello MN, posting for traffic!

I don't post often but I've just found out that my 8 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD. Im feeling overwhelmed and confused by the diagnosis. He's always been active, curious and at some times challenging but I know very little about ADHD. If it means he will get extra support at school then I'm thrilled but does this diagnosis mean medication? He sleeps 10 hours a night, eats well, sits through a church service (albeit unwillingly sometimes!) and can watch films and plays games or with playmobil for hours, he also loves monopoly! I hate the idea of medicating my son but that could be because I know so little about the condition. Please educate me! The diagnosis came about when his teacher flagged it up at school. We then saw various bodies including cahms and then a paediatrician in a clinic.

So as not to drip feed I'm a single mother of four children. A dd13, ds8,dd7 and ds5. My ex husband and I share parenting 50/50.

I'd be really grateful for any replies x

He definitely hyper focuses. He seems so happy in school and at home. Am I failing him? Am I missing something?

Mary I bet you are the most amazing mother.

Please feel free to contact me privately if I can be of any help. I have 3 sons on the autism spectrum, and the one with ADHD I have described earlier. I might not be able to help you with any questions but I will do my best to use my experiences to help you. Don't feel alone as I always have. Reach out to me if you need to, and as my son is now an adult I can ask him for his views on anything you might like to ask.

Thank you so much x

My eldest is happy but also blissfully unaware of social structures. He's popular because he's so confident and outgoing - he goes where angels fear to tread lol. He has struggled forming close friendships in the past from my own perspective but he's so confident and outgoing he doesnt give a hoot and has never mentioned it.

I medicate for him to get the education he needs everything else is just him. As for come down another person mentioned. We lower dose at weekends to stop the up and down effect. He takes it after breakfast so kicks in around 9pm and wears off 5pm ready for tea at 6.

Me and eldest call his adhd his super power - he can hyper focus, endless amounts of energy, always bursting to try something new. Sometime it can help to reframe in the positives.

Hello, a very good sensory diet can help a lot with his teacher both on board and in the know. Referral to an ot would be the starting point though there's a lot you can explore yourself. He would need an assessment and proper guidance really to do it properly. Most of the children I teach have ADHD, only a very few are medicated. The rest have access to sensory things and motivators that help, even if it's a run about with a ball after doing some work. (Or before!) weighted lap blankets can be very useful, vibrating cushions, fiddle toys, chewing jewellery etc.

Don't forget ADHD has a lot of positives too - often very fun kids to be around! Very imaginative too!

Visuals are very helpful, lists timetables.

I will say though that trialling meds can be a relief for some children as they find it really helps. Mostly the ones who get very angry or are so very bouncy life is too confusing. It's down to the individual.

Ultimately what it means first and foremost OP is that he's the exact same little boy he was before the diagnosis.

I remember hearing my kids' diagnoses and sometimes you lose sight of this.

As for meds that's your decision. In our case Ritalin kept our son alive between the age of 4 and 11. He stopped taking it last September as he's matured his impulse control has improved and whilst he still needs constant supervision he is a little more in control of his impulses nowadays.

Every individual with ADHD is different, you can't generalise.
I'd have hoped school would have put extra help in when your dc showed that he needed it, but yes a diagnosis can help with that somewhat.

What an amazing, encouraging thread!

We have these for our DD - seems to help reduce the stress in the mornings, she has medication but it does seem to take up to an hour for it to 'kick in 'www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_12?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=visual+timetable&sprefix=visual+timet%2Caps%2C160&crid=LKM3FS65W6YL

mary.
The fact that you are even questioning whether you are a good mother tells me you are. You are reaching out for advise to help your son. Shows that you are an amazing Mum.

When my DS1 15yrs was Dx I felt like I had let him down, I knew two years before that something was off but he was adament that nothing was 'wrong' & TBH his brother needed more of our attention... I still got so upset when we got the Dx. But only because you want things to be easy for them!
They are both the most loving gifted sons I could ask for and they are super talented.
Boy if you can get them focused on what they love we'll watch out they fly 💕

My youngest DS has ADHD, I have done parenting classes and am a member of a local parents of children with ADHD group. The best support often comes from other parents rather than professionals so I would recommend looking for local support groups. Some of the children I know are medicated some are not, tbh most of the children I have known with a history of ADHD end up on medication ( just my personal experience). In any case medication is not a magic cure, although my son's school thought it should be,
I don't want to be negative but my son only exhibited mild behaviour issues at your son's age but got a lot worse as he aged, my son has poor impulse control, can be extremely aggressive, and his ODD is off the scale. When he reached the age of 11 we had no option but to put him on medication, after he was temporarily excluded from school 5 times. So for some children going on medication is almost inevitable. Unfortunately he started refusing to take medication when he reached 15 which we can do nothing about and it's an issue many parents face.

Chewing jewellery is fantastic...
DD chews - mainly just in bed at night now. She still chews her pj top and the corners of her duvet cover -even the wooden rail on her bed has teeth marks ...
She used to chew all her clothes - especially the cuffs of her school cardigans - and I used to find bits of chewed up pencil/straws etc etc everywhere too. She chews the soft rubber bits off toothbrushes (I now get cheap value type ones that don't have any on). I have even found books with corners missing/teeth marks...
The only problem for DD the proper chewing jewellery isn't cheap (her last one was £15) and the anti choke catch means she can easily take it off ...which she does to fiddle with it ....and then loses it!!!!
(And although is quite upfront about her ADHD -in fact chose a red chewing pendant - she won't ask for them from in school lost property ...says they will be full of germs etc and she can't bear the thought -even if I sterilise them...)
Fiddle toys - you need silent ones really for school - things like stress balls and the bendy men and puffer balls. As well as things you can pick up out and about - like stones.

Things like tangles and linked blocks etc are good (I love playing with them too!) but make a low clicking noise - which can be irritating and distracting for the teacher /other pupils in a quiet classroom...
And having ADHD isn't all a bad thing -lots of successful people are said to have it. Hyperfocus can be useful it working on a difficult problem - or to get a lot done in a short amount of time. Also cos their brains work differently they can be really creative - and see problems from a different perspective so come up with imaginative solutions.

I tell DD that humans are actually evolved to live the way we do now - 9-5 in an office type of role - and no doubt having ADHD would be an advantage if we lived a less artificial lifestyle... she just needs to find a career that plays to her strengths and she will fly...

• not are - aren't - actually evolved....

Thank you all for your positive stories and a PP was completely right, he will always be my gorgeous sunny little boy no matter what happens

All this links, stories and words of comfort have been so encouraging and given me lots of ideas and resources that I wouldn't even know where to begin looking.

He's always loved the softness and textures of various things and loves watching his lava lamp or light show so I think exploring the sensory side of things is definitely a good idea. I'm ordering some of the fish oils as we speak. We have a very structured routine as it is (4 of them, 1 of me!) but I'll look into making it more visual with time tables etc so thank you for that idea.

Already feeling much more positive, thank you

He has tangle and rubix cube type toys that he loves! X

You are definitely not failing him OP

I don't know anything about ADHD but an IL was diagnosed last year, mid 40s.

Don't think of this diagnosis as a negative thing. You now know that there is something so if he needs support at school he will get it.

Place marking for the links and videos. DD is 12 and recently diagnosed with ADHD and ODD

My DS1 is having testing too this week. I'm pretty sure he has it. I share the same concerns regarding medication. Thanks to the posters for sharing their experiences.

With regards to preparing for the possibility of his impulses getting more difficult / moods when the teen years arrive, have a look at the 5 point scale.

See if you can find out if anyone like sp and Lang or an OT have access to the full info in the 5 point scale, or consider finding a training session or buying the book.

It's really really fantastic for emotional regulation and helping children to be in tune with their emotions, even if they're mostly calm and also what both they and the teacher/ adult can do to help them get back from red or orange to green. This can involve sensory things too so definitely try to get an OT and sensory diet.

www.5pointscale.com/

The book can be bought on amazon.

Only really any good if school uses too.

Glad your feeling better about it. He's still the same boy - my sons adhd makes him the hilarious, vibrant person he is.

I found this useful to explain adhd so my son.

m.additudemag.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.additudemag.com%2Fadhd%2Farticle%2F911.html&utm_referrer=#2839

Morning all,

I feel so much more positive this morning. I've ordered a couple of amazon books and have re-read all your posts and I feel a lot more well informed.

Xx

We have a younger sister here and I recently bought All dogs have ADHD from Amazon for her to read.

It's a really good book for explaining it to siblings and younger DC who are diagnosed.

I'm having trouble with the school giving DD (12) her medication, we've found 10am the right time to see her through to the end of school. They wanted the box for the tablets even though I copied her prescription and gave them the letter stating diagnosis and medication. They lost the box yesterday so wouldn't give her the tablet today, it was in a little sand which bag inside the box, they had the tablet but lost the box! 2 days in a row this week no meds, detentions and removals for fidgiting and lack of concentration!

My dd is only just being diagnosed at 13, she was 12 when we started.
Unless your child is really struggling they won't want to medicate.
I was the same as you, really worried about this, but there are so many strategies school use now that means medicating isn't the first or only option.
At Christmas we had a break through with dd with this stuff, it's available in all sizes so not always this expensive.

www.amazon.co.uk/Crazy-Aarons-Super-Illusions-Thinking-x/dp/B008BOMW26/ref=sr_1_4?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1484673543&sr=1-4&keywords=crazy+aaron%27s+thinking+putty

I really can't stress the huge improvement enough.

B

Bump