To wish Martina Cole was right in front of me...

[PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel]

So I could ask "What the actual fuck?"?

I was SO into her books at the beginning. I don't do chick-lit etc, but she was different.

Am I the only one thinking that the past few books are gnat-shite?

Does she just change the name of characters, change some of the time events around, and churn out a new book?

And the next time I read the line "belly full of arms and legs", I will boil my own head and eat it!

Aaaargh!!

(Ps, the book has gone to the charity shop)

Has she taken some sort of "writer's laxative" which makes her churn out this shite?

From what I remember yes in parts it was... She killed her abusive husband.

Ah, I'm thinking of another one. In the one in thinking of, the woman found out she was innocent, but she was too drugged up to remember.

I'm glad I read "broken" before "the ladykiller", or I would have been bitterly disappointed at the sequal- I quite enjoyed "The Ladykiller".

However, the third book in that series was dire!

Her stories are a bit "grubby", if that makes sense and she's past her sell by date too.

HA! This thread has already been done!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1923635-Martina-Cole

It's even got "bingo" in there!

Pop but our bingo was better ;)

Just seen I am actually on that thread

YANBU

They are so repetitive that I now can't remember which of her recent ones I have read, they all blend into one.

I've had "a stunning moment of clarity" & stopped reading them.

More bingo:

'She loved the bones of him'

'She drew the smoke deep down into her lungs'

'She was a right sort'

I've read two Martina Cole books, I thought meh they're alright, they'll kill a few hours. But then someone lent me a third, I started it and it was so similar to the two I'd read that I thought the cover had just changed. I was convinced I'd read it before. I haven't bothered since and tbh I read some shite.

limitedperiodonly I noticed the Other Side of Midnight nod in The Night of. I thought it was because the book was racy (to use my Nanas favourite phrase), it would give the prisoners a helping hand so to speak but not erotic enough to be put on a banned list. Sort of a prison in joke.

Is Martina Cole the one with the very shady past?

I've only read one of her books and I wish I hadn't. It involved child abuse and in the end there was no justice for the children and it just made me feel sick.

I liked 'two women' and a couple more of the early ones-the last 5 or so are absolute dirge though!

'The full sp' is another classic cole-ism.

You've all missed the classic "he was like the spit out of her mouth". Ugh.

But yes belly full of arms and legs is the other one that made me cringe.

And I'm sure there was a character called Lisette in 2 or 3 books? I used to like them then just felt like I'd read them all before.

My sister is disgusted I don't like her anymore as I don't buy the books and pass them on. They are shockingly bad. I've read them all in order, stopped reading them about 4 or 5 books ago though. It's the same rehashed shite.

Nobody understands what it's like 'in their world', another phrase that makes me want to fling the book out the window!

Boatrace =face

You've all missed the glaringly bad '50 sobs' as in 'he owes me 50 sobs'... it's SOV's you daft cow!

And no she hasn't got a shady past, she's a bloody plastic molly. I remember her when she lived in West Thurrock and played darts for The Rabbits!

I think you must be right about it being a self help book wigglerock.