For DH to suggest if I've got a female stalker?

[BadgerBox]

I need a reality check here because I'm starting to think I'm going crazy or in some sort of psychological thriller.

I started working at my job about 3 years ago on one department. The day I started I got shown around and introduced to everyone. When introduced to this one girl she said she already knew who I was as her son was born at the same time as my daughter (I had no idea who she was and couldn't remember her from the maternity ward)

Over the next 3 years she's tried hard to strike up a friendship with me of which I was grateful. I took a year out on maternity leave with my second child and when I returned I found I had been moved to the same department as her which I was happy about as she was always very friendly.

Her behaviour towards me since I've moved onto the department has become quite odd. She will ask me incredibly personal questions about my personal life including my sex life with my husband and even go as far to ask how I shave my pubic hair The other women on the department take the piss constantly saying she's a secret lesbian and fancies me. Her behaviour is very flirty towards me and she will stand very close when she speaks and looks at my lips.

The odd part has come in the last couple of weeks. She knows where I live and I've noticed whenever I leave on certain days for nursery pick ups she's ALWAYS outside my house where she will stop and talk to me for a while. If I mention in passing that I am going somewhere, she will be there. When we went to the works Xmas party she insisted on sitting next to me and seemed annoyed with anyone that tried to speak to me.

The weirdest bit came yesterday when we were discussing our children's births. She announced that we went to antenatal classes together (I can't remember her being there, I didn't take much notice of anyone but the teacher) and she said that she remembers me saying to the teacher that my baby was breech and that I was having her turned. She said she remembers I always used to wear a green coat and she even described what my mum looked like who attended the classes with me. She said she remembers my husband brought flowers and balloons into hospital for me (he did) and that my dad came to pick me up from hospital. This all happened 4 years ago.

I can't remember anything about anyone I went to antenatal classes with or who I was in my maternity ward with so was impressed with her memory. When I told DH about it he was alarmed and said with everything else that's been happening with her he's concerned for me. He wants me to speak to my line manager about it and make her aware?! AIBU to think he's over reacting here?

I also agree with others about the memory thing. I've not got a photographic memory, but do have a massive memory for details and I know I've freaked people out in the past by saying things like "oh, yes, I remember you, we met at x and were talking about y and you were saying you thought z about it" when it was months or even years ago. To the point that I've stopped doing this now rather than make people feel uncomfortable.

Also agree with PPs, to the sex talk/shaving your bits etc, you can just say "that's personal" or else just give her a smile. Or else something like "I need to get this work done now" to close down the conversation.

I would also agree with the incident log.

However, I don't think it's got anything to do with your line manager. It might be something you report to the police, but I don't think it's a work issue.

Totally inappropriate behaviour. Try distancing yourself from her as much as possible. If she asks anything inappropriate tell her.
If she doesn't back off, speak to the line manager.
No-one should have to put up with this.
It isn't in the least bit hilarious.

Jesus, OP! This is far from normal or acceptable behaviour. From what you have said, she is freaking me out and I don't even know her! I was stalked years ago now, but it's something I'll never forget. And tell your colleagues it is far from fucking hilarious. And loitering outside your home?? So wrong!! She is scary and so is being stalked. Very scary. Tell everyone about this freakish, unwanted attention. IT IS ABNORMAL BEHAVIOUR!!

That's really weird. Shut it down before it gets any worse.

I would mention it to your line manager . If this woman is as weird as she sounds , she might get a bit nasty if you pull her up on her inappropriate behaviour . If you get in first , so to speak, then at least your manager is in the know , in case weird woman complains about you.

I don't know why you're being so dismissive of your dh's concerns.

I also don't think you should be laughing off these wildly inappropriate things she's saying. If she was a man you'd have had him hauled over the coals by now. And rightly so.