feeling bullied by wretched music teacher ( long sorry)

[cremolaDave]

dd has been having one to one instrument tuition for about a year with this teacher. i drive for about 3/4 an hour to the 30 minute lesson and home again.To be honest i could do without the hassle, but dd really loves it and this teacher is the only one in our area.I have not really got on with this woman from the start. She has a way of implying that i am not committed to the lessons( i am for dd's sake- it's the drive i hate) ,and never misses an opportunity to spend my money( dd 'needs ' new strings/ that shoulder rest is not what i would have chosen haha/ maybe you could buy her the new cd of such and such) all in front of dd.It makes me feel quite intimidated actually.And a bit cross, as it goes. Now, the teacher IS young(23) and on many occasions i have just inwardly sighed and put her attitude down to youth and bitten my lip.
today she handed me a letter with all the times and dates of lessons up to June. I folded it and took it home. I have just looked at it and ( for the second time ) she has written. "All students will join blahdeblah Music Organisation.This will be invoiced on your next bill." ( more than cheeky)
Last year she told us she could not teach dd if we didn't join this organisation.I was a bit annoyed and phoned the organistion concerned and they said that it was only suggested that we join, not mandatory.I spoke to the teacher about it and she back tracked, but insisted that we had to join this year.
I am fuming now.I absolutely do not want to join(£80 per year) on top of which joining has no foreseeable benefit for dd because of where we live.Dh has also said no way on financial grounds.
I feel bullied.And really sad.I do not want to stop dd having lessons as in truth this woman is a good teacher( just because i don't like her doesn't mean she can't teach )
what am i to do.hate stuff like this.
anybody got any suggestions that won;t involve tears?

Ok, I teach the cello, and I try to avoid spending pupil's money wherever possible (obvioulsy smetimes it's unavoidable)

She sounds like a cheeky cow tbh. Her attitude stinks. (and I hate slagging off other mus teachers)

As for gettung you to join a music association, wtf? I'd ditch her if you can.

Where do you live btw(if that's not too cheeky)

I agree, this all sounds very odd, and you should stand up to it. I have dealt with at least 12 music teachers with my children and never come across anything like this. There must be some alternative teachers somewhere, surely?

I'm a musician, and although I don't teach privately, have many friends that do.

This sounds like a load of utter rubbish to me.

Tell her that you've spoken to the said music organisation and that they have said joining isn't compulsory. So therefore you're not doing it.

There must be other teachers in the area surely (violin?)

How old is DD? If she is nearly secondary school age, she will probably be able to get lessons at school. They have to be paid for,
but they are very good.

We have one who does slightly similar things and I just usually refuse. It's not got so bad I'd change teachers but I'd have huge choice if we did change. I bet you could find someone local who could teach if you put up an ad.

Well have decided what to do.
Have decided to let dd have lessons up til Easter and then leave.Reasons are:

1. cheeky B£$t%^ asking for money when not necessary 2)don't like her and am spending too much time justifying taking dd to a bloody music lesson which is nearly an hours drive away.
2. as Fizz says dd will be going to big school in September and can arrange lessons there ( although of a different type) I am really glad I posted and have had such a supportive response. This has really been eating away at me.

I have already phoned the organisation and confirmed that that joining is suggested BUT voluntary.( also it is only £22 NOT £80!!!!)And not one of the membership benefits listed applies to dd.

For those who asked which organisation i am talking about, well as this teacher is the only one in our area i cannot name and shame.Not yet anyway.
I am sadly not in touch with any og the other parents as they all live a good distance away too.

Now all I have to do is break it to dd.

Is this some "system" for learning an instrument, like Suzuki or Kodaly? Or is the instrument something really outlandish like Euphonium or harp? That's the only way I can think of that you could not have loads of other potential instrumental teachers knocking around. Unless you live on a remote Scottish island, of course.

Seriously, violin teachers are ten a penny. Good violin teachers are rarer, but still shouldn't require KGB-like spying skills to track one down.

SHe's charging £80 for a £22 membership?

Is there some kind of music teacher's association she could be complained to about?!

yes caligula- i'm raging
yes to first guess frogs

Can you join for 22 pounds and then pay the invoice minus the 80 pounds and write your membership number on the form and say "already a member". You could even provide a copy of your receipt for $22 so she can see that you have sussed her.

How much does this woman charge for lessons?

Systems are overrated, imo. Would your dd consider a 'normal' music teacher? You should be able to find someone nice to come to you, or at least someone nearer to travel to yourselves. Our local music shop has a board with loads of ads including S teachers, but non-S ones as well. Unless you're in the middle of nowhere I'd put good money on you being able to find someone happy to take your dd on, and nicer to deal with as well.

If she's about to go to secondary school she'll have to get used to non-S methods anyway if she wants to be in school orchestra etc.

I think you need to be a bit careful with "systems' My neice learnt the piano with the yamaha system and she could play beautifully - the peices she had leasrnt at the classes. The trouble was she hadn't learnt to read music, so she had to start again when she outgrew the system. Very demoralizing for all concerned.

What you could do is submit an exorbitant bill to her for having to drive dd, on account of you being a learner. "My driving lessons aren't free, you know!"

Zombie!