One round of ICSI. Worth it?

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

We can only get one go at ICSI on the NHS.

There is no question of us paying privately for any additional attempts - each round is £5k, and we have agreed we don't want to start a family massively in debt.

WIBU to put us through all the difficulties of ICSI and all it entails when our chances are currently less than 23% of it working?

If you've been through this, WIBU to ask what you did or would do if you had to go through it again?

Two rounds of ICSI at age 33 and 36 - both successful. They're now 6 and 3. So for us it was well worth it. DH issues with count, me with PCOS and endometriosis.

Go for it. My NHS trust only offered one cycle but if there were any spare embryos to freeze, the frozen embryo transfer is counted as part of the same cycle, not an extra cycle. Yours might be the same?

My first (NHS) cycle was not successful but gave really good info to my private clinic to get a BFP on the second cycle. You might be one of the lucky ones that are successful on the first cycle!

Where are you getting the 23% success from?
Is that just your clinic's success rate for your age group, or have they personalised it?

Tbh, that is on the low side for your age. It might be worth seeing if your funding can be transferred to other clinics with better success rates.

I got pregnant from my first round of ICSI, also with catastrophic male factor issues.

And it isn't so gruelling a process that I would let it put me off. The gruelling bit is the emotional side, and I think that would potentially be there if you got 5 years down the line and regretted not trying...

Go for it. You will always wonder "what if...?" if you don't.

JustHappy3 is spot on about percentages. Our consultant explained our percentage and also the success rates for the clinic, but was at pains to point out that although the stats are useful, it either works or it doesn't and there's always a chance. That's what you have to focus on.

FWIW, our odds were a lot less than 23%. Think it may even have been under 15%. Male factor here too, DH with a sperm count of zero. So I did the IVF drugs not knowing if there would be sperm and at the same time as my egg collection, DH was in another operating theatre having surgical sperm retrieval. They found a small amount of live sperm!

Our first NHS attempt didn't result in a birth, but I did get pregnant. Our second NHS attempt, no pregnancy. Then we had to pay, and it took every penny we had. Our private round felt like I imagine you might be feeling about your NHS round...It was going to be our last/only chance. It worked and DD is 4 now. You just never know, and where there's an embryo, there's always a chance. Hold onto that.

I found the physical side of IVF quite easy but the emotional side was tough.

Happy to talk to you more about our experience if you want. Also, if you decide to go ahead, join the Fertility Friends website if you haven't already. There's all kinds of support threads, including one for male factor issues.

Vivienne my son and DIL had ICSI and worked first time - wonderful daughter, now 16! They had to pay but think it was about 3 grand then. They had another cycle and DIL got pregnant but miscarried - and another frozen embryo resulted in pregnancy but another miscarriage.
BUT you have nothing to lose surely..............I'm struggling to understand why you aren't sure. Sorry I don't mean to be insensitive but it's a bit of a no brainer. Mind having said that I didn't want my son and DIL to go in for it as I just thought it would end in more heartache (always a bit pessimistic in these matters)

Hope you go for it and it brings you a baby!

Do it. It took my husband many years to persuade me to do ivf. I was very resistant because I was scared of the process, and scared it would fail. I was 39 when we tried, and had to loose 2 stone to be eligible. (We had to go private due to age) It worked first round and I'm now 29 weeks pregnant.

However even if it hadn't worked I wouldn't have regretted trying, wondering 'what if' was a difficult thing to live with.

DH and I had 5 ICSIs. (3 NHS funded 2 private funded). None worked. Nothing to freeze.Nothing to show for it. I would never regret trying. Just long gift a child bug I'm not too old to follow any more treatment and emotionally cannot handle more failures. Please take your 23% chance. That's a good probability for a miracle you could have come into your lives. My friend had her first IVF in March 2016 and is being induced today deliver her first child today. Grab your chance and go for it! My very best wishes to you.

The reason I'm not sure is because I know couples it has broken up. The endless rounds of hormones, failed attempts and debt drove them apart.

I had 2 miscarriages a decade ago and that was heartbreaking enough. How will I cope with this if it doesn't work? I had a termination in my 20s and have never forgiven myself. I panic that I've ruined my only chance at a child. And I feel sick thinking about that. Obviously DP knows all this.

The 23% is based on my current age and my DPs sperm quality. It drops off a cliff to 11% in the next 4 years.

I'd rather have my DP and no kids than kids and not have him. I'm afraid of losing him through this.

Felt very much like you did with our one shot ICSI (my infertility but he was below average). We were self funding having had IVF years before. Anyway, it was partly self preservation - I couldnt face it failing - and partly I worried about the cost, impact on us etc.

My husband persuaded me. We did everything to up the odds. I completely changed my diet, we both cut alcohol out, he stopped using a laptop. We increased our exercise, i had accupuncture (there is evidence it works even if just by relaxing you).

I went from having a much lower chance than average (to the extent they allowed us to have two blasts back in because our chances were low) to getting pregnant with twins (now 2 1/2).

But I dont know how i w

Massive congratulations to those who are pregnant! Wonderful news. :-D

And huge supportive non-MN hugs for those not getting the results they wanted.

Yes I've read it too that the stress can break couples up BUT for us, it has made us a thousand times stronger and has changed our relationship for the better. You see each other going through so much and when you both want the same thing so so badly it really brings you together.
We've not had success yet but I can honestly say that even if it never works I know things will be ok because i have seem a side to dh I didnt know existed and our relationship has never been stronger. You hear the horror stories about IVF and divorce but it's not always like that

17-18 years DD took to arrive.

She came in the umpteenth ICSI attempt.

No NHS for us at all, not a single go.

Best advice I was ever, ever given was ignore the stats....the odds are 50/50. It either works or it doesn't. You know what?
Its so true.

I don't blame you for avoiding debt. If you'll stress throughout the pregnancy about money, you may resent it.

I hope you have the joy you deserve x

I got pregnant with my now 8 yr old DD on my first round of icsi and on my second round I got pregnant with my now 6yr old DS

We weren't sure if we wanted to go through IVF but decided to give it one go on the NHS so that we didn't get to our mid-40's and wonder "What If". At our first clinic appointment we were told we needed ICSI due to DH's sperm count although by our egg collection day this changed to IVF as lifestyle changes increased the sperm count dramatically. We were lucky and I got pregnant and had 8 blastocysts to freeze. DD1 turned 4 last week.

We had a failed frozen cycle 2 years later followed by a natural miracle whilst trying to arrange the dates for our next frozen cycle... DD1 turned 1 last week.

You never know what will happen. If you don't try then IVF will definitely not help but if you do try... I had tremendous support for both my cycles on an IVF cycle thread on the Infertility section on Mumsnet so would highly recommend joining one if you decide to jump on the train.

Good Luck!!