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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to do this?

46 replies

CodyAndTheCups · 13/01/2017 17:52

I am supposed to be in court on Monday as a witness. I was in yesterday aswell. We sat in the witness room from 9-12 then we were told that the case was adjourned. My parents watched my ds (22 months) yesterday (both dp and I were witnesses, he had to to take a days leave).
My parents aren't able to watch ds on Monday my dps mum is in hospital. I don't have any friends available to watch him, and I really don't want to put him with a childminder or daycare etc. He's never been in one before and to just dump him at one on Monday will upset him, I doubt I would even get a place anywhere at such short notice anyway. My ds doesn't speak at all and I really don't want to leave him with people he doesn't know, especially because he can't talk. Aibu?

OP posts:
Redglitter · 13/01/2017 23:31

You'd need to find a doctor willing to back you up then because you can't just call in sick to court. You need If the OP was an important witness the trial would probably be adjourned til she was better.

ilovesooty · 13/01/2017 23:32

Claiming to be ill isn't an option either.

ilovesooty · 13/01/2017 23:32

Sorry x post there.

AgentProvocateur · 13/01/2017 23:35

You'll be in contempt of court. When I was on jury duty recently, they got the police to go and get a witness who hadn't turned up. You'll need to find childcare or call in a favour.

Yesitsmeagain · 13/01/2017 23:40

I say take him too.

Take toys, books, food and drink and thank your lucky stars you and your DH are both witnesses!

smellyboot · 13/01/2017 23:55

Take him. You will all survive. Do not just not turn up

FurryLittleTwerp · 13/01/2017 23:56

Redglitter a doctor's note has no power in court at all. The most a doctor could do it write a statement stating you were ill & attended the appointment.

if this were me, I'd take the child with me, if I had no childminding available. The worst would be they dragged in the cleaner to dandle them on their knee for a bit.

Scrumptiousbears · 14/01/2017 00:00

So you were waiting to be called yesterday (Thursday) and it was adjourned and you were recalled on Monday and you are just thinking about this Friday evening? You really needed to take this more seriously.

I agree with PP if both you and DH are there you can attend with your DC and do a handover. Courts don't mess about and rarely wait for anyone who does. A warrant will be issued and you'll be getting a knock at the door and escorted to the court.

tierny · 14/01/2017 00:03

You can't just say "I don't want to leave my child with a babysitter/daycare so I'm not coming" it's not optional. There will likely be a whole courtroom full of people, from judges, to clerks, to solicitors, all turning up for the hearing, and you think you can just not go because you aren't happy to leave your child with anyone at all other than grandparents ? You will be in contempt of court and possibly punished.

Lucked · 14/01/2017 00:04

You self certify for short illnesses, even if you were genuinely ill it would be wrong to see a doctor if you don't need to and they would be within their rights to refuse to write a note.

MakeMyWineADouble · 14/01/2017 00:04

i agree with agent when I was on jury duty we also had the police sent out for a missing witness! They also went to retrieve a missing jury member one day!! They won't just let you not attend!! If you really can't find anything ring the court officer on Monday morning and see what they suggest but you need to keep talking to them.

Lucked · 14/01/2017 00:06

We she hasn't sorted it and I don't know if childcare that could be arranged before she has to be there Monday.

I would take him along and see how you get on.

MakeMyWineADouble · 14/01/2017 00:07

lucked I don't know how it works for witnesses but when I did jury duty we were told they would need proof even if you only missed a day.

TheWoodlander · 14/01/2017 00:14

Of course yabu. You can't just not turn up at court. (lol ??)

Once you have agreed to be a witness, you are compelled to attend court. I was a witness in a criminal case, and this was explained very clearly to me. There's no backing out.

Sybis · 14/01/2017 00:19

Have you actually been formally summoned? If so, you have to go, if not...

SparkleSoiree · 14/01/2017 00:38

Witnesses generally have to remain in a witness room in order to prevent discussions with other people involved in the case on the other side and those rooms are not always the biggest or most suitable for children to be in for long periods of time. There may be other witnesses in there for other trials too and discussions between witnesses and the CPS will be of an adult nature. It's not something we would encourage at all in our local crown court and if childcare elsewhere is an option it would be better to use that especially as delays can happen (as you know) so you won't necessarily have an end time which may cause stress with your child.

Like other posters have said, not attending court is not an option. It can delay trials which have taken a lot of preparation time and cost to get to that point. In our local court CPS are constantly trying to locate missing witnesses who are due to attend trials at particular times of the day and this can put that particular court room out of schedule for the whole day having a knock on effect to the rest of the week. This keeps other people waiting much longer than necessary, all of whom have their own personal circumstances to contend with too.

I hope you manage to get it sorted OP.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 14/01/2017 01:59

I spent years working at the Crown Court for the CPS - you need to go, take your child if unavoidable with lots of drinks, snacks, toys etc.

Don't just not turn up. It's not optional at this point - nobody finds it comfortable or convenient to attend court but it's how the system operates. If witnesses didn't attend because it wasn't convenient hardly anyone would be prosecuted for anything!

If the Judge sees fit to issue a bench warrant for your arrest - likely considering the case has already been adjourned once and it's a waste of court time/ public money - who do you think will look after your child while you're in custody?

The court where I worked had volunteer staff who formed the witness support service - they seemed to mostly be retired, professional women. The service exists to support witnesses and I'd imagine they'd stretch to cover emergency baby sitting if there was no other option.

MammaTJ · 14/01/2017 02:07

Tag team, you look after your DS while his Dad is in court and he looks after him while you are. You will not be in together, so this would work!

Not pleasant, not ideal, but it would save you from contempt of court!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/01/2017 02:16

You get a babysitter to come to the court with you and your DS. You stay with your DS as much as possible, and when you need to go into the court room, the babysitter (who will have been there with him and you the whole time) will mind him for that time. You will need to pay the fees for the whole day but you will have to do it - and you might make a useful acquaintance, with whom your DS might be willing to stay another time as well.

You can NOT just "not turn up" because it doesn't suit you.

WhisperingLoudly · 14/01/2017 14:05

sparklesoiree

Witnesses have to do no such thing. They have a option to use a witness room (which they may choose to do if they don't want to bump into a defendant or their family) and it may be that court officials find it convenient to have them corralled in a particular area but the OP will not be confined to the room against her wishes

SparkleSoiree · 14/01/2017 16:17

WhisperingLoudly not sure I deserved your rebuke but apologies if I have confused anyone. My comment is based upon my experience and as none of us know which court the OP is talking about then it would be useful for different scenarios to be offered, especially as it seems there are different procedures for different courts.

Of course a witness is not confined to a particular room against their wishes and that is not what I said. If you read my post again you will note I said "generally" because although it's not a hard and fast rule my experience is that it's the rule of thumb in our court. However we have not yet come across a witness who has expressed a wish to sit elsewhere, in-fact most witnesses ask us to ensure they don't bump into the defendant or their family. Even if the OP was to sit out in the public area with her DH and child it would still not be the most appropriate situation due to the length of time they may have to sit and wait (the chairs in the witness rooms are far more comfortable than the chairs in the public areas) and the lack of facilities for children generally.

OP if you are still in a predicament please ring your court on Monday morning first thing (try from 8.30am onwards) and ask to speak to the Witness Care Officer. They are different from the CPS, court security or ushers. They will discuss the situation with you and may be able to help you in some way or at least reassure you about bringing your child to court.

Feel free to PM me if I may be help in any way.

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