To not let my son go to a football match on the train

[Redbookworm]

My son, just turned 13, wants to go to a football match about 17 miles away on the train with his friends. AIBU to say no? I'm not really happy about him going there on the train with no adults. It's not somewhere any of them have been before. I've said I will take him ( and his friends if they want) by car and pick him up after.
I can't decide if I am being unreasonable.. as he thinks I am!!

YANBU I live near a football stadium and it can get really busy at the station.

If he can normally be trusted and is sensible then YABU.

I think it depends how far the ground is from the station and also where it is?

If London or a big city, YANBU, if a smaller city/town, I'd say as long as there is a few of them, it should be fine? I used to go on the train from 13/14 with friends

What are you concerned about? People on the train? Walking round an unfamiliar town? Hooligans outside the stadium?

I wouldn't let him go on the train just because of the louts who will also be on it effing and blinding. I've travelled on the train with a carriage full of football fans and I hated every second. A lot of drunk foul mouthed yobs (not all of them obviously)

Let him go. The other fans are likely to keep an eye out in a paternal way and he will love the atmosphere.

I was off to concerts on my own / with friends at that age.

id be more concerned about the football match than the train to be honest!!
Trains are pretty safe, they are pretty well policed. I was travelling from London to Leeds on a fairly regular basis by myself at that age and the worst trouble i ever encountered was a few drunk lads once or twice and all you need to do is move carrriages and wait for the BT police to sort it out when they get on at the next station which they always did.
So i think if you are happy to let him go to the match then really the train should be fine as well.

I think in the situation I'd be worried - drunks at the station etc, however I normally have a problem. DS took himself 50 miles each way on a train last year aged 12.5

Yanbu, I wouldn't let him.

Normally don't have a problem

How about you travel with them on the train and find somewhere for a nice coffee while they're at the match? They can learn the route and routine so that they go on their own after a couple of trips.

Thank you for all your replies. He regularly goes to our local team games as the ground is only a five minute walk away.
Looks like maybe I should let him go!!

If,there's a group of them, and he is used to,going to football matches (with all the banter etc), then he should be fine. what are you nervous about? The train? crowds? Football fans? Etc

Provided they are a sensible group I would be inclined to let them go, but if this is their first trip, I'd perhaps suggest accompanying them on the train, doing something else for the game then meeting them somewhere after the game to get the train home. That way you have peace of mind that they are okay, they will have an adult presence if they do run into trouble. Also, if you stand back and let them organize themselves, so let them get their train tickets, work out their route to the stadium etc and just observe unless they ask for help, then you can know that they can do it and in future they can be allowed to go alone, as you are safe in the knowledge that you've seen them manage everything.

Having said all that, I do think there are a few key things to consider:

Is it a Premier League club or a lower league team? If it's EPL then there will probably be more people around the stadium and it will generally be busier and there may be stricter security than lower league. (I am a Man Utd fan and security/access to the stadium is much more strictly controlled than my local team in the National League) but then that also means there will be a mlot more hustle and bustle around the stadium, fans in nearby pubs etc and it can be a little overwhelming if you're not used to it.

What time of day is the game? If it's a lunchtime or early afternoon kickoff then it won't be too bad, but if it's a late afternoon/early evening kickoff then by the time the game finishes it may be getting dark/already dark, so would they be confident getting back to the station in the dark?

How far is the stadium from the station and do they know the route? If it's a five minute walk along a main road, then no problem, if they'd have to get a bus, it's a long way or there isn't a direct route to the stadium then there's more chance of them getting lost/possibly split up and I'd want to make sure they knew exactly what they were doing (esp if they have to do the return journey in the dark, as I said above)

Are there regular trains back from the game? If a lot of people are travelling, then the trains might be busy/delayed or if it's a late finish, then they may only have a couple of trains they need to get.