aggressive bully of a sister

[Rory786]

My sister is so aggressive and gruff. Its been noted by everyone, my parents, her husband, her inlaws, her friends, her kids. The problem is when people try to say anything she blows up.
I have to walk on egg shells and ignore some really mean comments. My dh can't stand her but luckily he loves her kids and feels sorry for them so he doesn't protest when she comes over but I can see him seething in the corner.
She is oblivious, at social gatherings she doesn't realise how she comes across. Any advice. I love her and want a better relationship.

You can't change someone - you can only change how you react to them. Is there something in your reactions you could change that would help?

I don't react. I listen, or ignore or try tactfully to change the subject. I really hate confrontation and fighting.
Its exhausting tiptoeing around her but trying to be upbeat and zippy for her little ones

Sorry, I meant how you react inside. She does something, it makes you upset - can you look at why it makes you upset and just sort of well, teach yourself to stop letting it upset you.

Has she always been like this? Or has it become like this more recently? Do you think it might be depression or something?

aww thanks milkandtwosugars, you are right. I think I need to realise that just because we have the same blood doesn't mean we are going to get along and that its fine to not be close to a sister.
I guess I just feel sad she is burning so many bridges...
Thanks for taking the time to reply

cora she has always been like this. Even as a child.

Of course it's sad - and it's OK to feel sad! I think we sometimes forget this and try to "fix" things instead.

Is it The Prayer of Serenity?

God* grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.

*other belief systems are available.