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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think your child doesn't need a snack in a 30-minute toddler class?

413 replies

Mummyreindeerlegz · 12/01/2017 12:10

Sorry for the long title.

Why is it some parents give their one year old snacks during really short classes (or at all during classes!)? A one year old wandering around with a soggy rice cake, dropping bits is grim. Wait half an hour or give them a snack before you come.

Please tell me why people think this is ok? Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:

brasty · 12/01/2017 15:05

Actually I would deny a 1 year old food and drink. I think it is fine for them to wait sometimes.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 12/01/2017 15:09

Over I don't think anybody is judging you, no.

I just think it's a shame that there are evidently so many people who have such strong opinions on the ability of others as parents. Isn't the implication (and outright assertion in some cases on this thread) that parents whose children are given snacks somehow failing by not implementing what they deem to be a proper routine? Or teaching their child the 'correct' message about food/waiting etc.?

And I'm afraid I don't think this is a particularly useful or healthy discussion, no. Just a lot of people pouring scorn on someone for her choice to feed her baby a bloody rice cracker.

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 15:09

Obviously not literally, gottagetmoving. But she will throw herself on the floor, scream really loudly, and throw things hard. She will cry until she vomits when not fed, which is more unpleasant imho than food mess. Her tantrums can go on for hours

Then take her out from wherever she is if she does that and only give her something to eat when she is NOT tantruming. If you know she is not starving because she had something not long ago then she is demanding something and making you give in!
Why would you give a child something to prevent a tantrum?

NickyEds · 12/01/2017 15:13

Gotta my ds woke up from his nap a while ago and has just asked for a snack, he's 'ungry! Ungry!' apparently. He's just turned three. He ate all of his lunch (which was appropriately sized I think) and will most likely eat his tea well too (he usually does). I feed him proper meals and he had a routine but he's hungry and wants a snack. Should I just tell him tea will be ready in two and a half hours so tough or just give him a snack?

Pocketsizedpixie · 12/01/2017 15:15

I couldn't care less whether parents give their toddlers snacks or not, but as a fellow mother with a child with allergies I really wish people wouldn't allow children to wander about classes etc with snacks.

I take appropriate snacks for DD to eat at any "snack time", but I hate having to follow her around like a shadow if other children have been eating all over the place, to make sure she doesn't get hold of anything that would make her very poorly. It feels very restrictive to her free play (she doesn't need this level of supervision) and would be easily avoided by other parents ensuring their children sit down and are supervised with food.

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 15:17

Why not give or offer him a drink NickyEds Many children say they are hungry when they are in fact thirsty. Apparently adults do this too..eat instead of having a drink,

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/01/2017 15:18

we still sing the songs my son learnt at music group when he was 2, he's now a hulking great teenager

I have visions of mum and teen son belting out "Wind The Bobbin On" at the dinner table.

Mrsmorton · 12/01/2017 15:19

If the snacking habit persists into 3yo+ then it can have dreadful effects on teeth.

It's understandable if it's an easy way to stop a tantrum but the mess, oh god the mess... especially on public transport. So unnecessary, not every child has a medical issue surely? And if they do then they will eat their food rather than gum it to death and leave it on the floor whilst observed by their doting parents?

NickyEds · 12/01/2017 15:20

He's got a drink. He's hungry. I think it's quite good to recognise hunger and respond to it.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/01/2017 15:21

Sometimes they're thirsty, not hungry.
Snacks are fine, in moderation (milk and a biscuit at 10.15 ish and squash and small piece of fruit or some raisins at 3pm was my norm for DD). But as others have said, some people ensure their children pretty much have something to graze on constantly and literally never go more than an hour without food.

NickyEds · 12/01/2017 15:24

Do small children really accept food if they're not hungry? If I tried to feed mine every half an hour they would refuse it. I won't let them go hungry if it's still hours until the next meal though!

user1477282676 · 12/01/2017 15:27

Nicky, I think they do if they're accustomed to having snacks shoved in their hands every five minutes, yes. That's why toddlers are sometimes overweight.

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 15:27

He's got a drink. He's hungry. I think it's quite good to recognise hunger and respond to it

Yes, if you are sure it is really hunger. My son used to say he was hungry when I knew he really couldn't be and would forget about it if he was distracted with something else.

OverTheGardenGate · 12/01/2017 15:29

And I'm afraid I don't think this is a particularly useful or healthy discussion, no. Just a lot of people pouring scorn on someone for her choice to feed her baby a bloody rice cracker

I think the discussion has progressed well beyond that, with a wealth of different viewpoints. That can only be useful and healthy in my book.
I've picked up a lot of helpful things myself on MN, and had my mind changed on some issues. If there is a lot of support for one viewpoint, and not much for another, that begins to make me think.
It's not really just about a rice cracker. (Yuk)

Servicesupportforall · 12/01/2017 15:31

If one of mine threw themselves on the floor tantrumming in a class I would remove them and go home.

Don't reward tantrums. Avoiding trigger points is sensible but I wouldn't reward one with a snack.

DJBaggySmalls · 12/01/2017 15:33

YANBU, and it can make the other kids want a snack as well.

NickyEds · 12/01/2017 15:34

I really don't know how you can tell if another human isn't genuinely hungry though. Just because you wouldn't be? Some days my dc eat very little, some days they eat quite a lot. I want them to learn what hunger is and eat to their appetite. I don't really want them distracting themselves from their body telling them they're hungry, I want them to eat when they're hungry and if that happens a couple of hours away from a meal then they get a snack. To do otherwise would seem like a lot of effort to avoid giving a kid a pear tbh!

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2017 15:34

Do small children really accept food if they're not hungry? If I tried to feed mine every half an hour they would refuse it

Judging by the amount of half eaten half squished bananas or the pulling apart of rice cakes and the basically mucking about with food I see then yes I would say they do take it when they aren't hungry. Then either throw it around or take a bite and squash the rest or just hold onto it til it resembles an soggy mess.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2017 15:35

Bit of course it doesn't matter if it's not you who has to clear it up

Rixera · 12/01/2017 15:37

I don't give in to resolve the tantrum, I give her food on demand because if she stops doing something she enjoys to find me and say she's hungry, I accept she's probably hungry.

I don't limit her to eating at arbitrary mealtimes, and accept she may well have inherited a similar metabolism to my partner, who eats approximately 4000 calories a day and has a BMI of 20.
I have spoken to the dr about her eating as she ate as much as a 3 year old at 18 months but she was on the 6th percentile for weight. She's fine. Just hungry.

If she was mid tantrum we would leave, if she can sit in the corner and eat some raisins before running off again why not?

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 15:40

I really don't know how you can tell if another human isn't genuinely hungry though

If you know a child has eaten a decent amount or finished their last meal, then they won't be that hungry that they can't wait. There is nothing wrong with feeling peckish whilst waiting for a meal, it won't harm them.
Again, try distraction. Someone genuinely hungry won't be easily distracted.

Chelazla · 12/01/2017 15:40

Yanbu it's half an hour this is imho why kids end up brats every need is immediately met and before anyone says hunger is an important need it's half an hour! No one will starve!!

OhhBetty · 12/01/2017 15:41

Gottagetmoving some of us have no choice other than to just get through the day sometimes. If my ds is not hungry before we go out I'll feed him when we're out when he is hungry. He is almost 2, very well behaved and no weight concerns. I'm not going to not feed him because he had his chance already as that may lead to poor behaviour. As a single working mother with various health conditions sometimes getting through the day is all I can manage. People judging me or anyone else for daring to feed their kids is the last thing anyone needs.

deadringer · 12/01/2017 15:41

Kids seem to snack non stop these days. I have observed it at toddler group as well as playgrounds. I do occasional child minding and it astonishes me how much snack food the parents send with their child. They seem to graze constantly.

Bibblewanda · 12/01/2017 15:41

People are happy to bf on demand, why not feed food on demand too?

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