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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I want to quit my PhD because it's making me miserable

32 replies

coralpig · 12/01/2017 11:26

My PhD funding runs out in October I've been here coming on 3 years.

I've managed to scrape through my progression points but I am deeply unhappy- have been on anti depressants almost a year and had a breakdown about 6 months ago where the terms of my studentship meant I couldn't take sick leave. My supervisors have been pretty absent and I have no direction. I've had lots of counselling and can see this is the source of a lot of unhappiness for me.I desperately want to quit and apply for a more fulfilling job. AIBU?

I'm concerned that I would be quitting late in the program and I have already collected my data. I would be letting down my supervisors and I can't imagine my funders would be happy. However I have been thinking about this for months so it's not a rash decision. I've found a few job opportunities that sound appealing and which I would like to apply for.

OP posts:
dorothymichaels · 12/01/2017 13:33

Good luck!!

Surreyblah · 12/01/2017 13:42

Look into any costs to you of not completing it.

And think about how to explain to potential enployers whether / when you plan to finish it.

ByGaslight · 12/01/2017 13:50

I supervise PhDs and I'm sorry you're so unhappy doing yours.

I would urge you not give up your place without a period of reflection and consultation. There are (and certainly used to be) some shockers of supervisors and I had one back in the day but most UK HEIs now have far more monitoring of the process. In my institution candidates only have supervision teams of two (occasionally three) supervisors and we are required to report to our graduate school at all points.

If you've passed your progression points and these reports or presentations were overseen by people who aren't your supervisors (they should have been) then you can have confidence - it shouldn't be possible to 'scrape' through, you're either up to standard or not - might your under-confidence be colouring this?

Thinking you don't have either the considered attention of your supervisors or good direction is obviously a problem and I would address that. You have put time and work into your PhD, you have collected your data, you will normally have up to four years to complete on a three-year funded project so you lose nothing by going to the body which supervises your supervisors (research school or similar), via your supervisors if you have a decent relationship, and ask to work in a different way.

You are not letting anyone down, they are not doing you a favour, it is their job to take you as far as they are able and if you don't complete, your work doesn't count for that institution, which is a black mark for them, so it is in their interests to help you as far as possible. I am very surprised you were unable to defer your studentship and take time out when you were ill, this in my experience has always been possible and I'd be bewildered by any rules which say you can't.

If you want permission to walk away then have no fears of doing that. It's a study project, nothing more or less, and unless you have your heart set on being an academic, it's an accessory to a career not an essential (and I work with plenty of academics who don't have 'study' PhDs. There are other routes to take such as PhD by publication of original work, Professional Doctorates and also you may be able to convert the work you have already done into an MPhil.

Supervisors should support you, they should have the relevant professional experience to do that, they should have PhDs themselves, but you will become more expert than them in your topic and there are normally a range of people in a given subject-area who could supervise you - in my experience it's very important that they are the right supervisors for you, there has to be a fit between you. Arts and Humanities PhDs are usually the worst for isolating students who think they must carry a huge 'life's work' burden themselves. It's just a research project, and your supervisors should be able to help you find the most pragmatic and time-efficient way of getting it done and off.

I think you should make your mind up to act, one way or another, because stewing away like this can only be harmful. It's an institution, it's impersonal, if you assert yourself to e.g. change your way of working (including supervision) or if you quit, the institution will go on the same tomorrow as today. Good luck!

ObviousChild · 12/01/2017 13:50

I really feel for you. Doing a PhD is so mentally draining. I was lucky enough that I really enjoyed mine and found it very fulfilling, being even so I found the last 6 months of writing up to be absolutely hellish and really taxing emotionally.

I think you have done incredibly well for getting this far, and you should give yourself some credit for that. I don't know what your subject is or how the system works at your university, but have you considered converting to an MPhil if this is possible? I know that would be an option at my institution, and if you do decide not to complete the PhD, converting to an MPhil might allow you to tie up what you have done so far so that you can walk away with something.

Just a thought. I really hope this works out for you and you can get yourself in a better place. And you should definitely not think about whether you are 'letting your supervisors down'. This is your decision and you need to do what is best for you, not other people.

coralpig · 12/01/2017 14:48

To clarify, I could have stopped when I was ill but I could not afford to. there was no entitlement to sick leave the time taken out would have come out my time.

OP posts:
GilMartin · 12/01/2017 18:20

I can empathise, having been in the self same position 2 years ago. I cannot emphasise enough how vital an active and interested supervisor is in keeping you in track and offering a sounding board is. My first port of call would be to someone senior in your department who may be able to arrange additional/different supervision arrangements.

The department will be reluctant to let you take a leave of absence, for some funding schemes they have to get a certain proportion of their students through the PhD process on four years to be eligible for future applications.

Ultimately, the only thing that broke my cycle of feeling down/hopeless/depressed about my PhD was completing it. I went through the ringer emotionally, adamant that I was going to quit. But in the final analysis, I couldn't stand the idea of three years' work being for nothing. Likewise an incomplete PhD that far in is something employers aren't going to look favourably on someone bailing on a PhD within spitting distance of the finishing line

Carrados · 12/01/2017 18:39

Surreyblah

Look into any costs to you of not completing it.

And think about how to explain to potential enployers whether / when you plan to finish it.

With a good exit strategy, this can all be handled well.

OP I'm not trying to encourage you to quit BTW, just offering my experience so that you know you can do whatever you choose to do.

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