6 figure incomes and can't afford a load of bread?

[LemonyFresh]

Is it just me or has there been a influx of posts about household incomes of over 100k or similar and complaining or wondering how they're skint at the end of the month and struggling? Is it a stealth boast or do these people actually struggle?

Am I really in the minority with a household income of less than half of this?!

I know we tend to spend to our means but even when DP and I are having a flush month I don't see the point in over spending for the sake of it.

Tomorrow you are doing very well then. I take it you are no where near London!

I still cant compute this - my kids afterschool activities alone are £70 pw .

I don't think the £100K+ families are rich (we certainly aren't) but I can not imagine trying to live on so little. School lunches lone are £2 a day - how the hell do these families manage (I know they get benefits but still)

That poster with the £4900 left over at the end of the month did annoy me a bit

I only earn just over £5000 in a year, and while DD2 works full time her board money goes towards rent, so at the end of the month I have absolutely nothing left, after paying bills and buying food there isn't enough to buy a slice of bread

My house is freezing because I can't afford to put anything on the gas, and the electric heater is expensive to have on more than a couple of times a week

I don't have enough food to last for the two weeks til next payday. DD helps where she can but she has her own expenses

This is not me begging before anyone says, just that when people say they have nearly £5000 left at the end of the month, I do struggle a bit with that

Sanity Assassin I'm in the midlands. Couldn't do it in south east if I will be truthful.

We get no benefits but child benefit but we just budget

The £4900 a month poster did acknowledge that she spent frivalously - she wasn't saying she was struggling/skint - she wanted help working out what she did with her money.

Sanity - you have illustrated the mixing up of luxuries and necessaties that has been mentioned. Your £70 pw of after school activities are not necessaties (OK there may be a childcare element that needs to be replaced) but families on lower incomes simply won't do these - they will do many fewer activities that will be much cheaper or free.

Similarly, school lunches - £2 per day for lunch is optional - a home made sandwich and piece of fruit or whatever will cost well under half that amount - £2 per child per day is not the lowest amount it is possible to provide lunch for, by a long shot.

Likewise, food shopping. Many people on these sorts of incomes will be of the thinking that a normal basic family grocery shop does cost around £200 pw, without acknowledging that their version of grocery shopping, as per EssentialHummuss example is 'time-poor/convenience food/Charlie bloody Bigham' is far from what a lot of families have to feed their families with and manage it perfectly satisfactorily from cheaper supermarkets and just thinking about what they buy rather than going round filling their trolley with 'that looks nices' and organic everything without looking at prices.

It doesn't surprise me as some are just not very good with money, some have very expensive lifestyles, might have a lot of debt to deal with and you're probably right that a percentage will be stealth boasting.

I get stealth boasting on a daily basis! I live in a city where many Londoners have moved to so you hear a lot of out of touch comments along the lines of 'oh we sold our London flat and managed to buy a really lovely house here for 500k, isn't that a bargain?', yes maybe for you but not for most normal people! My sister lives at home so has no bills of any sort to pay, she has a commute to London but that's her only necessary spend, she earns a good wage but is always broke somehow.

sanityassasin Families like us on £38,000 with 2 kids, get no benefits, simply child benefit. You have to be a lot poorer than us to get free school meals.

unless you're in scotland where you get free school meals for P1-P3 and also free prescriptions for all.

Yes true.
But I have been surprised at times on here to come across people on large incomes who assume everyone who earns quite a bit less than them. get benefits. If they have children, they will get child benefit, and some will get help with childcare costs, but £38,000 is not a low household income. And £100k is a high household income. How you spend it is up to you.

Dh earns £110k per year. After insurance (loads, he's a surgeon), cps courses (has to do), tax, accountant, petrol to work, he is left with £45k per year.
So, it is plenty to live on, but no where near the £110k starting point.

I'm amused by a few posters saying no benefits apart from child benefit. That's not a completely tiny amount, is it? Why do you all treat that as a nonbenefit? Is it being put aside for your children in the future like a College fund?

I am not part of a six figure salaried household, but I have noticed that over time our household income has crept up but we don't necessarily feel rich, even though our early 20-something selves absolutely would have thought we should be.

I think it's a mixture of your expenses going up - so you earn £100k and then get a nice house with a huge mortgage, and two nice cars, and private school fees and suddenly that's your income all tied up and any hiccup can be painful then - and also wealthier people changing their mind about what constitutes 'poor'. I mean, this isn't always the case, but I've definitely noticed recently that I might say "god, I'm skint" at the end of the month but what I mean is "we can't afford take out/cinema/new shoes/to shop at Waitrose" whereas there was a time in my life when 'skint' very much meant "I have no idea how we'll eat next week".

I don't think the £100K+ families are rich (we certainly aren't) but I can not imagine trying to live on so little. School lunches lone are £2 a day - how the hell do these families manage (I know they get benefits but still)

They just manage, what other choice is there?

I earn 13k working in a government department. I don't claim any tax credits or any benefits. I pay for school lunches. No maintenance. No help for anyone, including family.

I've worked hard all my life, have loads of qualifications and a degree, 20 years work experience. I can't see a way to increase my earnings.

The way I manage on so little is to have budgeting down to a fine art, pay the least possible for everything, go without nearly everything for myself, have no car, no social life etc. As a result of this I can still afford music and drama lessons for dd and the odd holiday.

Why do you all treat that as a nonbenefit

Well for me it's isn't really. I claim it, but am only eligible for about £10 a month of it, so pay most of it back the following year in tax. I don't have a mortgage anymore so I might actually stop claiming it now so that I don't have to do self-assessment forms.

you have to watch out for your reference points changing, I agree, habituation is the enemy of feeling well off but conversely is the same thing that helps you accept setbacks.

Yes child benefit is a benefit, but until recently everyone got it. So I still think of it that way. Even though I know its not.
And to poster up above, we all pay tax. Our £38000 income is before tax is taken off, or pension contributions, or travel to work. So that is not what we have to spend.

I'm constantly baffled by why DH and I don't have a nicer lifestyle. He earns six figures, yet we drive a bashed and battered third-hand car, live in a small 3 bed terrace that badly needs work we can't afford, won't be having a holiday this year as now DD is at school it's too expensive (and our last one was an off-season week in the Algarve - perfectly nice but hardly luxurious), and never mind private schools, we can't afford a nursery place for our youngest, he's having to wait till he's eligible for his 15 hours.

We live within our means, albeit in a very expensive area, have no debt other than the mortgage, and save as much as we can, so maybe that's why. Plus I'm a SAHM, which is undoubtedly a luxury. I certainly don't feel poor - and I grew up poor, so I know how that feels - but neither do I feel wealthy. We are well aware of how fortunate we are compared to most though. We may not be able to be flash with our cash, but neither do we have to worry about paying the mortgage, or clothing or feeding the kids.

So having said all that I really have no grounds for complaint!

But why do you 'save as much as you can' when you need to spend it on house repairs

What's the point?

I earn 14,000 a year. I own my own house. It's tight, but I don't struggle.

I think half of mumsnet believe being on 50k+ a year is 'normal'. It's really, really not.

We earn an income which is well into the 6 figures and as others have mentioned, expenses often go up when you earn more (one parent travelling for work is a killer) and work longer hours (flights leaving at 5am, working 18 hour days to get contracts finalized etc).

What I have done to keep DH's feet on the ground is to only give us access to $80k a year (we live in the US) which is about GBP55k a year. We spend $36k a year on childcare, about $30k on housing leaving us with about $1100 a month for everything else including utilities, clothes, commuting, kids activities and food. I am lucky that my employer put me on a client in the NW so I can go back to my Dad as necessary and go work in the UK for a couple of days. DH's employer reimburses 100% of our medical bills. Our car is attached to DH's contract and is fully paid for. We don't have a second car but pay more in rent to live in a walkable town with excellent transport links to NYC.

What is lost on so many people is that when you are lower income you quite often get assistance with the big ticket items such as housing and childcare. This means so many lower income people end up with a disposable income comparable to someone earning much more than them. Its called income distribution. It's not a bad thing that this happens but those on lower incomes need to realize that higher income doesn't always mean a higher disposable income and those on higher incomes need to get bloody real about their expenses. If you are struggling on GBP100k just reading through posts on here helps with how you can save money. Starting a thread about it and stating your high income is offensive. Just say - I am spending a fortune, please help me out with some ideas to save money.

You should start a "how to" thread parma.

Whatever the household income, many will budget to that effect and have little left over. We were struggling despite both being in full time work and decided to make a little extra on the side. I use matchedbets.com to make around £500 risk free per month while my OH does online surveys and we're much better for it

@WorldsSmallestPotato: none of them are "essential", everything just about works, it's just old and crap. We don't want wipe out our savings on home repairs unless we absolutely have to, so we're saving to hopefully have enough to do the work and still have a "financial disaster" float. Obviously if the heating packed up completely or the roof fell in we'd suck it up and get it repaired!

Ffs. To the poster basically saying high earners don't have enough time to sit down and sort a financial plan, what bollocks.

My husband works his bloody arse off for 30k. Just because you earn a lot doesn't always mean you work harder.

If people are struggling on a six figure sum stop spending! You don't have to send your children to private school etc. You don't need a ridiculously massive house with a stupidly high mortgage but of course it's all about the status and ooh look at me, look how rich we are.

I do though agree that people on very low income get a lot of assistance, when we had an income of 19k and 30k now the difference we pull in is tiny. My sister and her dh don't work and pull in almost as much as us.