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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want more kids one day?

44 replies

Busybeesbum · 12/01/2017 08:35

Hello.
I have four children aged from 10 to 2. I love kids and have enjoyed every part of motherhood up to now. I love the closeness breastfeeding gave us and love spending time with my children. Everyone in my life knows this. Yesterday I was out with my mum and we started talking about how many kids is reasonable. I told her I would quite like more children and she was horrified. She told me 4 is quite enough and I shouldn't even consider having more. I'm single anyway so it's unlikely at present but aibu by being annoyed by her attitude?

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 15/01/2017 20:17

I never understand people having more and more children because they just love being a mum!. You're a mum already, why spend time day dreaming about possible future children who may or may not happen?

Oysterbabe · 15/01/2017 20:20

Yabu. The planet is full enough.

Babbitywabbit · 15/01/2017 20:58

I agree floggingmolly.

And it also implies that people with fewer children don't love being a mum quite as much, which is of course daft.

I love being a mum; I don't think having more kids would mean i enjoyed it any more

SallyInSweden · 15/01/2017 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillSykesDog · 15/01/2017 21:08

I'm guessing if your youngest is two then you're probably fairly recently divorced and your kids will have been through an unsettled time recently so your Mum would probably recoil at the idea of adding more children/a serious relationship to the mix at the moment.

I wouldn't read too much into it. If you do get into another serious relationship you'll have plenty of time to ease your kids into it gently and for your Mum to get to know whoever it is and see he's a good guy and get used to the idea of more grandchildren.

You've just put the cart before the horse a bit, your kids are probably just getting used to not being in the same family unit anymore so to jump straight from that to 'I want more kids' is probably a bit of a surprise. You should maybe get people used to the idea of you dating again before you bring up things like more kids.

Underthemoonlight · 15/01/2017 21:10

After your other thread and recent confession of tricking your two eldest dcs fathers into get pregnant I would suggest you don't have anymore dc

Wallywobbles · 15/01/2017 21:16

If you met someone like my DH he'd say bring them on. He adores kids. We have 2 each. Met in our 40s and he'd have loved more. Me not so much.

Lunar1 · 15/01/2017 21:21

There really aren't enough hours in the day for more than 4! We get home from school, play, eat, do homework, music practice, whatever activity they have that day, shower and bed. I really don't think I'd be able to give my children enough of my time if I had more than two.

BillSykesDog · 15/01/2017 21:25

Ah. So your children have multiple fathers? Yeah, if you are repeatedly failing to sustain relationships and your children have seen a lot of men come into your life and then leave again you really should think about concentrating on your children and keeping any relationships non-commital and certainly not to the level of getting pregnant for quite some time if ever.

Floggingmolly · 15/01/2017 21:47

Jesus, really, underthemoonlight? . You need some sort of help, op, not yet more children from yet another failed (or non existent) relationship.

Underthemoonlight · 16/01/2017 13:06

Yeah I was that shocked I thought it couldn't be real until I searched OPs username and saw multiple posts.

CripsSandwiches · 16/01/2017 13:11

I think she sounds like she said it in quite a rude way but I admit I am somewhat opposed to people having huge numbers of kids, just for environmental reasons. I do feel like if you've had four children you've probably had your fair share and there will always be an end to the baby stage, toddler stage etc. That said I would hope I'd always be respectful if this came up in conversation with someone considering another child.

Sallystyle · 16/01/2017 13:24

People should probably read her other thread before replying to this one.

It puts a massively different spin on things. Her mum has valid reasons for her comments.

ghostspirit · 16/01/2017 13:37

I'm not sure if ops other thread matters. From this thread it does not seem like op is thinking about having another child now. I think it was a more of she would like more maybe one day. That could be 8-10 years time for all we know.b

JessicaEccles · 16/01/2017 13:51

No, the OP split with her partner when their child was 4 months old as she wanted another baby and he would not agree. So this thread is disingenuous in the extreme...

PatriciaHolm · 16/01/2017 13:57

You seem a bit..obsessed. Given you admitted on another thread that you had the first two without the consent of their fathers, and you are financially dependent on your most recent ex continuing to pay maintenance for 2 children who aren't his, it's pretty obvious why your mother might be reticent to encourage you to procreate further.

Sallystyle · 16/01/2017 14:25

I'm not sure if ops other thread matters

It really does matter.

handslikecowstits · 16/01/2017 14:28

U2HasTheEdge It really does matter

Seconded. Yes, it does. All 17 pages of it.

Underthemoonlight · 16/01/2017 15:32

I also agree that the previous threads do matter and are very much relevant..

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