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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's quite concerning how 19 year olds have such easy access of 11 year olds in a school setting?

213 replies

Zootopials · 12/01/2017 03:52

Most schools in this area have a sixth form and there is no separate building. These sixth formers often do 1-1 reading etc with the Year 7s. AIBU to think it's a bit concerning??

OP posts:
Natsku · 12/01/2017 08:28

You'd hate my local school OP it has children from 6-16yrs old all in the same building (the entire span of comprehensive school in my country).

There's also another school in town which has the upper-comprehensive (roughly 13-16yrs) and 6th form equivalent in the same building which is up to 19/20yrs.

Sparklingbrook · 12/01/2017 08:31

14 year old 'just a baby'? Blimey.

ilovegin112 · 12/01/2017 08:31

My ds had paired reading (due to his dyslexia) in the school Library, this helped him more than being in a class of 30 pupils all wanting teachers input

Brokenbiscuit · 12/01/2017 08:32

YABU.

And for what it's worth, research has shown that middle schools have worse outcomes than secondary schools that cater for wider age groups. Until very recently, my area used to have separate schools for 11-14 year olds, but these have now been phased out as the weight of evidence was against them.

RockNRollNerd · 12/01/2017 08:37

Don't move to Germany then, they start secondary school a year earlier there (so turn 11 during 5.Kl. which is the first year of secondary there) and do an extra year if they're doing Abitur and so are 19 when they leave school. Given the number of kids (especially in Gymnasia) who do a full academic year abroad it's perfectly common to have 20 year olds in the equivalent of Upper 6. An old U6 can therefore be 20 for most of the academic year and a young one in the first year of secondary school might be 10 for the year.

When I was working over there it was a bit of a shock, and needed a big range of teaching styles (I was an English assistant). I could be doing things like 'heads shoulders knees and toes' at 7.50 with the littlest kids and having to show them on a map where people spoke English and then by 9 be chairing an extremely sophisticated debate on things like terrorism, war etc with adults.

Bobochic · 12/01/2017 08:40

School systems with separate middle schools have not proven their worth. Better teachers gravitate to high schools, leaving 11-14 year olds with the less able teachers.

wannabestressfree · 12/01/2017 08:40

The school I teach in goes from 3-19 (very occasionally) across two sites. The 6th form help with pe and extra curricular activities to help with uni applications etc. They are really good with the more difficult children and encourage reading where staff may struggle.
It's very rare for a child to stay on until 19. My son did as he had spent two years in a psychiatric hospital and was behind academically. He is now at university :) I will never forget the time and patience my school has shown with him when others shunned him and isolated him because of his mental health issues.....
Anyway off topic.... ask some questions if unsure. We always do peer mentoring within eyeshot :) and earshot

blueskyinmarch · 12/01/2017 08:42

I think a lot of people on here seem to think a DBS type check has some magical way of flushing out potential paedophiles and rapists. It will only show offences already committed. It won't show anything that may have gone undetected.

The school would be informed of any schoolchild who had committed a sexual type offence so the education department could assess the situation and ensure a safety plan was in place.

We need to have faith in our young people not see them all as potential suspects. That is so damaging to our society to think this way.

Tartyflette · 12/01/2017 08:53

I do feel that the original post had a distinctly pearl-clutching note to it -- deliberately saying 19 year-olds (vanishingly rare in schools anyway) for maximum shock effect and using a phrase like 'easy access to' with its loaded subtext.
And as PPs have pointed out, schools are very aware - it's part of their remit.

timeisnotaline · 12/01/2017 08:57

This is depressing! The peer mentoring in my school was a valuable part of the interaction. As senior students we led small groups of yr7s in activities , taught the reception class swimming, went as leaders on yr 7 camp, ran the house musical and theatre productions ... I agree with the pp who said op should dbs check every family member first as the most likely abusers.
I'm another Aussie (Victoria) who has never heard of a middle school also she posted hysterically

PixieMiss · 12/01/2017 08:58

Yanbu hun!!! Paedos on every corner. I saw it in daily mail too xx

GrinGrinGrin

hellsbells99 · 12/01/2017 08:59

DBS checks can be done from the age of 16 .....should all 6th formers be checked?! And yes, my DD's 6th form does have at least 3 19 year olds that I know.

PinkBunnyOnesieOnOrder · 12/01/2017 09:01

Reported, along with what I suspect is your other thread. Just stop it.

CocktailQueen · 12/01/2017 09:05

YABU.

The school would surely know if a pupil had a criminal record and would not select them to read 1-2-1 with a younger pupil.

I think it's nice - means the younger pupils get to meet/be mentored by older school members.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/01/2017 09:11

We need to be changing attitudes, not worrying about rules and regulations. I was at school in the eighties and the younger kids were definitely seen as East meat by the sixth form. At age 13 my very beautiful best friend was in a relationship with the sixth former son of one of the senior teachers and no one blinked an eye.

I remember he whisked her off to some secluded corner every break and lunchtime and continued with the controlling shit (helped by his Dad keeping an eye on her) long after he'd gone to Uni. She waited until he had graduated to break up with him because she didn't want to upset him. Of course she was 18 herself by then and had spent her teenage years under his thumb.

I really hope this kind of thing doesn't happen now. I would hope that peer pressure would keep 17 year old lads away from little girls (and boys).

ricepolo · 12/01/2017 09:13

So every older teenager is just desperate for a chance to abuse your precious little flowers...!?! How offensive and insulting to them and their parents.

Absolutely ridiculous paranoia. Grow up and worry about something worth worrying about.

VintagePerfumista · 12/01/2017 09:16

Odfod- sorry, I didn't intend at all to trivialise- actually when I hold the safeguarding courses in my school- I get far more of a shock reaction when I talk about "Uncles" and "fumbles" rather than "relative" and "sexual abuse" iyswim? When we ourselves were trained that's how they initially shocked us, because abstract/general terms, whilst literally correct, seem out of a lot of people's understanding- you would get a "none of my relatives would do that" and when you say "sexual abuse" they would automatically think of actual penetration and therefore that would reinforce the "wouldn't happen in my family". Bringing it closer to home by naming "Grandad" and saying something "minor" like "fumble/grope" and of course pointing out that that's a) harder to spot from an adult b) harder for a child to realise is wrong c) seems less important, brings it home to adults how insidious (and sadly widespread) abuse within families is.

Sorry, that's a bit waffley- just wanted to clarify. Smile

LouBlue1507 · 12/01/2017 09:16

I think that if an 18/19 year old had been caught doing anything untoward then the school would know about it as the police would want to speak to them and his teachers to see what his behaviour is like in school.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/01/2017 09:19

A school local to me had a deputy head convicted of voyerism and possessing indecent images if children.
Maybe we should ban 47 year old men from the classroom just in case
Hmm
Or maybe we should use sensible safeguarding measures and get on with our lives
Oh and his DBS was clean as a whistle....till he was sent to prison
Hmm

PabloEscobarReallyLovesHisKids · 12/01/2017 09:20

If I was a 18/19 year old at school and I hadn't done anything wrong. Just minding my own business and doing my school work I wouldn't like to be told I couldn't mix with younger children because I could be a sex offender. Hmm

GinIsIn · 12/01/2017 09:21

You know there isn't a switch that suddenly flicks and makes all teens over 17 a sexual predator, right? Hmm

There are a few things about your post I want to address - firstly, this is peer mentoring. It will be done as part of a structured setting, and would take place most likely in the library or a common room or a similar room in full view of others. It's not a candlelit room for two!

Secondly, there are plenty of opportunities for older kids to be on their own with younger kids in any school setting - how would you intend to police that? Each year group is only allowed in the loos at assigned times?!

Thirdly, you, like many, put far too much stock in DBS checks. A DBS check simply means that someone has not been convicted of a crime, not that they don't have the capacity to commit one. Fred West, Ian Brady and Mark Bridger would all have passed a DBS check at 17....

noeffingidea · 12/01/2017 09:23

This doesn't happen in my town. There are no sixth forms, school ends at 16 (year 11) and the children go to college to do their A-levels. Personally I prefer this system.
That doesn't answer the OP's question though. Unfortunately there will be a small number of abusive /predator types within the student population, but that type of behaviour doesn't magically start at any particular age. It can begin at 12 or 13, or even younger. Yes children can be at risk from other children, but the answer isn't to segregate by age but to be more aware of safety and child protection generally.

LittleIda · 12/01/2017 09:27

Probably already been said as not read whole thread, but normally when doing 1:1 they'd be in an area with other people doing 1:1. Maybe with staff there too.

NewNNfor2017 · 12/01/2017 09:28

Why on earth don't people bother to read school policies and the law in order to reassure themselves that their DC's are not at risk?

Students are not like staff- a staff member has and initial DBS check, and it does not have to be redone, UNLESS they have had a 3 month or more break from their employer. The theory being that any criminal prosecution would come to the attention of their employers.

A student who has been in an education setting prior to the age of 18 has a confidential file transferred between Education provisions - which would include details of any convictions.

So unless an 18 or 19 year old joined a new school sixth form where they had not previously studied, the school would be aware of any risk and mitigate accordingly.

Who on earth worries about these things? I wish there was as much concern about the risks online as there was about the perceived "pedophile around every corner" - parents are worrying about the wrong things and many are negligent when it comes to protecting their DCs from the REAL risks faced.

Otherpeoplesteens · 12/01/2017 09:28

I agree the hysteria prevalent in some of these comments is depressing.

I went to a boarding school, it's a 5-18 school which takes boarders from 9 upwards. 13-18 year olds were in the same boarding houses, and there was the odd 19 or 12 year old knocking around too. No CCTV, very few windows, no locks on the bedroom doors either. No adult supervision in the changing rooms.

The older kids were then, and still are in 2016, a vital part of the pastoral care structure amongst the boarders. Younger kids learn about young adulthood from being immersed in a community of actual young adults; older ones learn responsibility, compassion, and how to pass on their experiences. And they can't leave all that at the door at 5pm so it's in everybody's interest to make it work for everyone. Learning from sixth form role models and then being one myself was the most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. I would never question the value of it, and would defend that system with my life.

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