To refuse to babysit

[Papaya90]

My sister (with her DS) and I live in different countries. Recently she bought tickets to a concert in the UK and asked me to look after her DS while she's at it. The problem is it requires me and my DH (no way I would do this on my own) to take 2 days off work and spend about £500 for flights and hotel to travel to another part of the country. AIBU to refuse? I didn't give her an answer yet and she seems annoyed that I am not very keen to do it but I think the request is a bit excessive. I am struggling to say no as I love her DS very much and she has no one else to look after him really but I honestly don't think I can afford it.

International Babysitting New MN phrase!

Just say you can't get the time off work. Nice and simple. White lie but the alternatives are all ridiculous.

Are you sure she intends you to travel to them, rather than them travelling to you? If she is then she is bonkers. ?If she actually intends to bring him to you, it is still a big ask, but not an outrageous one.

I would laugh.
Good one sis. You had me for a moment. No one would really expect someone to shell out over £500 in travel and accommodation, plus food and other costs. And miss 2 days work to babysit.

But maybe she hasn't looked at flight costs, and instead looked at coach/train fares which would be cheaper.

She can employ a team of 5 babysitters for the whole night for £500. Tell her you don't have £500, she brings the child or gives you the money, otherwise she'll have to pay for a babysitter.

Why cant she fnd a local friend or babysitter like the recast of the world.
SHe has lost her marbles clearly

i double checked and theres no way im going to be able to afford the travel and thats without the unpaid time off work. Do you have any other solutions, as im not going to be able to do what youve suggested

I'd try and find a compromise to help out my sister. Not sure what it would be though. Why do you have to have your husband with you? He is obviously bumping up the cost.

Has she ever lived in the UK? Maybe she doesn't know how far away the venue is from you? If you're happy with the time off work I'd reply to her something along the lines of 'happy to babysit if you can fly into papaya-adjacent airport, you can get trains to concert-venue every hour from here - I'm sure DN and I will have great fun!' - you are not her hired help - she is asking a favor she needs to come to you.

Just tell her it isn't practical, no need to go into all the details. She knows already, but is hoping to guilt you into doing it.

Surely this is just miscommunication. Why does everyone on mumsnet assume and ask strangers on the internet instead of just asking the person involved! You are ASSUMING and then finding excuses. Why not, shock horror just ask your bloody sister?

Seriously? Does she really expect you to shell out £500 to do her a favour?

Update OP?

Sorry for the lack of updates. It's been a busy week. Haven't spoken to my sister yet and I must say I'm nervous about her reaction. I do think it's a bit unreasonable for her to ask me to fork out to do her a favour but I'm also worried she might take it as me not wanting to "help her out" or spend time with the nephew. I would do it if she could drop him off where I live for a night (not for 4, I am not comfortable with that) but a) I don't know where would he sleep? b) I only get 20 days of annual leave (+ PH) so I am a bit considered about using 2 of them to look after him...

I have only posted that to ask for your opinion - sorry if anyone took it a different way. I wasn't sure whether I am being unreasonable or whether it makes me a horrible person to refuse. Don't have much experience in that matter.

Tell her you can't get the time off. She is ding massively U if she expects you to pay £500 and give up two days of annual leave so she can go to a concert.

Why can't you do it on your own? (Totally think she's unreasonable mind you!) Just wondering the reason for you not being able to do it alone.

Not much experience with children so I need moral support!

LOL at your sis, OP. I've flown in mymother to babysit my DD when I had a course or overnight plans. But she's retired and I paid for everything.

Fair enough then! How old is your nephew? Does he know you very well? I would just be honest and say I'm sorry but I can't afford the travel costs involved. I don't have nieces and nephews yet but when I do I will do anything to spend time with them.... but I don't have £500 floating about!

I would tell her ok, can you pay for flights and hotel please, its only fair! Or if not, no sorry I cannot!

I don't think asking you to take leave is unreasonable - we all have to take leave for family things once in a while, you can't use it all for exotic holidays. Presumably this concert is a fairly once in a lifetime opportunity.

But she should bring dn to you (can't he sleep on the floor/airbed), or pay for your travel/accommodation to where she is.

If your sister can afford a flight from her home country and concert tickets, she can afford a babysitter for the night.

Is she usually this fricking insane?

I guess she's considering it that "we will all spend nice time together" so I think in her mind I wouldn't pay for "going to babysit" but rather to "meet with the family". And the concert just "happens" to be in that time... Semantics.