To feel so embarrassed.

[Gem90]

Last night dh and I met my parents for dinner with our toddler ds. I drank more than usual and feel ashamed at how drunk I was. Dh wasn't drinking so I knew he was watching ds.
Today I felt so mortified at my family seeing me drunk but they all just keep saying I deserved a night off, I'm more than just a mum I'm allowed to let my hair down etc.
Why do I feel so embarrassed about something I wouldn't have thought twice about doing a few years ago!

You have The Fear.
Plagues me too unfortunately. You'll have forgotten in a couple of days, trust me. ♡

They're right, why not let your hair down from time to time. Nothing terrible happened. I don't drink (due to meds, but back in the day was a different story), you had a good time, your DH was watching your DS and your parent agreed that you should let your hair down from time to time. We've all done it at some point (several points in my case and I understand the cringe factor), but don't beat yourself up.

I just babble so much shit when I am drunk. I think the fact that dh doesn't really drink means I am more embarrassed because he was completely sober while I was a drunken wreck. I hardly ever go out and drink now, I think I have lost my immunity to it lol. I woke up this morning full of the fear! dh says I was with people who I am safe with etc so no harm done but I just feel worried that people judge mums for doing things like this.

I think its also about gaining a maturity. There is no real reason to get drunk (a wreck as the OP put it). Enjoying the taste of alcohol is fine (I love cocktails) but waking up embarrassed (or hungover and ill) doesn't really serve a purpose and being a wee bit older I wonder if you recognise this more now.

Certainly my twenties can only really view remembered via the bottom of a wine bottle but hitting 40 a couple of weeks ago I only had a few very nice, very expensive drinks.

We have all been there
Your DH is right tho, no harm done. Forgive yourself and forget about it

I've always hated being drunk. I almost always manage to get to my limit and then stop, meaning I am
Never more than a bit tipsy. I hate that feeling when your head spins and you feel sick.

A lot of Mum's find their old opportunities to drink (glass of wine after work, girls night out etc.) really do disappear once you've had children. Add in any sleep deprivation and the fact that most of us would have given up alcohol for c.a year, then it's not surprising alcohol affected you more. Also it's not unusual to sort of go a little 'woo hoo' at a rare night off. You'll soon learn again what your limits are, or may decide you don't really want to drink any more because it's not as enjoyable as it once was. Don't worry. Sounds normal to me.

Oh, god, I hate the Fear, or the Shame as i call it. It sounds like you were fine to me and that absolutely no one is judging you. I totally get how you feel right now though.

dh says I was with people who I am safe with etc so no harm done

Thats a lovely thing to say to someone with the morning after the night before remorse.
If it bothers you that much dont do it again, but its a pity that you feel so shamed. You didnt do anything wrong.

I did secretly enjoy myself lol, I felt like young single me again. I wouldn't swap my two boys for anything but it was quite nice to be a bit crazy for a night lol

You were on a night out, your dc were safe as were you. So you got a bit giggly or loud, not the end of the world. If you were getting wasted whilst in charge of your dc then you'd be judged but you weren't.
Forgive yourself no one else seems to even be slightly bothered.

If your DH and family aren't offended or upset I don't think you need to worry about anything. I always have that sinking feeling of doom when I have a hangover, hopefully it will pass.