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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dp isn't a 'hero' or that I'm 'lucky he will help'

7 replies

HighwayDragon1 · 10/01/2017 20:31

DD has chicken pox, I'm a teacher and not really able to take time off at the moment. DP has been working from home and looking after her in her pox-y state.

Women at work were gushing over him earlier saying how lucky I am and that it was great he could help... I'm sure that if I were at home no-one would bay an eyelid but because he's a man it's hailed. Honestly they were all but planning a parade in his honour!

For context DD is technically DPS DSD but her bio dad doesn't see her much, or give two shits she's poorly. He has also been there since her birth and refers to himself as her dad.

So wibu to raise an eyebrow? Or should I be fawning over him too?

OP posts:
SheldonCRules · 10/01/2017 20:35

I think it's very different when the adult doing the care is not a parent, that's likely what people are reacting too.

I'd expect the actual parents to split the time needed off between them to do the care as standard.

If a stepmum posted her DP wanted her to work from home for days to look after a sick child she would be told it's not her responsibility.

HighwayDragon1 · 10/01/2017 20:38

He is her dad, just not by blood.

Also the women at work don't all know this, I just said she was at home with DP.

OP posts:
user1471517900 · 10/01/2017 20:39

As always on these threads, any parent who does this should receive gratitude and praise. Let's bring everyone up, rather than knock everyone down to no praise. So enjoy the fawning. Why shouldn't someone get something nice for doing something nice?

MollyRedskirts · 10/01/2017 20:40

I think it's sad. Definitely more a reflection on their low expectations, rather than a genuine assessment of your DP's parenting.

MapMyMum · 10/01/2017 20:42

I dont think you should be fawning over him no, but you are lucky to have someone at home so you dont have to take time off, the same as any man/woman is lucky if they have a DP at home able and willing! If they are really gushing then an eyebrow raise is not U!

DailyFail1 · 10/01/2017 20:43

I get similar reactions as a stepmum Just ignore the comments.

user1471517900 · 10/01/2017 20:56

Again - why not encourage the praise, why create less praise and bring everyone down to no gratitude or thanks or praise. The issue should be around a lack of praise, thanks or gratitude for women than taking away something that's nice

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