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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it bother you if school showed a movie with a rating above your child's age?

208 replies

Keremy · 10/01/2017 13:19

DC1 ended up in school in a mixed year group due to an event just before Christmas.

The children involved were year 8 to 10 so 12 to 15. The teacher was aware of the kids ages.

Dc1 had been asking to watch a film and as it was three years above their age range I refused. They have seen 12s at 11 and stuff so I'm not a total fuddy duddy but I think it is entirely dependent on the film.

Anyway dc came home saying they had watched this film and I have just checked with another parent and it is true.

OP posts:
CoughingForWeeks · 10/01/2017 16:09

I like Bad Santa and have an old man crush on Billy Bob Thornton, but I wouldn't let a 12 year old watch a movie in which an alcoholic, criminal Santa shags a woman up the arse in a store changing room. WTF were the teachers thinking? I'm hoping that whoever chose the movie did so in all innocence, having not seen it themselves.

LunaLoveg00d · 10/01/2017 16:11

Our primary school's policy is that only U rated films are shown to the children on the premises. They won't let them watch Frozen as it's a PG, not a U. Last year my daughter was studying a book of which there was a film adaptation which was a PG, we had to sign a consent form to let her see it.

Wouldn't be happy if school weren't adhering to the ratings to be honest, as a parent I can make that decision and allow my 10 year old to see a 12 or something, but that's my choice and not something school should be choosing.

Original poster
Keremy · 10/01/2017 16:18

On the subject of Woman in Black dc I refused to let dc watch that as I knew they would find it scary as rather sensitive. They watched that in school too without asking permission as it is a 12A but blimey that film terrifies me and did dc too.

Ok time for a word with school. I had read the description and thought it sounded inappropriate but hadn't seen it so it is interesting it is as bad as it sounds.

I'm wondering if a pupil had brought it in (sometimes they ask if kids want to do that and they pick one to watch at the end of term. ) and teacher didn't realise how bad it was.

After a similar incident with a close to retiring teacher, a year seven group and an inappropriate comedy.

OP posts:
happymumof4crazykids · 10/01/2017 16:18

I would not be happy with my 12 yo being shown bad santa it's totally inappropriate!
@Keremy did you complain to the school? If so what was there response?

ailPartout · 10/01/2017 16:22

NickyEds

And what would you expect to do once you'd been informed? Opt in or out of particular aspects of a curriculum?

I'm a believer in 'sticks and stones...' and think being armed with an understanding of "butt sex", "fuck", "cunt" or what have you means and the effect it can have on others is sensible and acceptable. Within context, the n-word (if you've noticed, the only one I censor) too.

Babied children are the ones who grow up expecting safe spaces at university.

The school has done something that some disagree with but nothing illegal, dangerous or worrying.*

*the film sounds like a waste of time but that's permissible on the last day of term.

Happilyinsane · 10/01/2017 16:22

Yes i would be pissed that film is inapporiate for any child to see mine have been bugging me t see it also and there no way i would allow them to luckily our school will only allow U ratings ... (would also like to add i let my kids watch quite a bit they shouldnt cant wrap em in cotton wool 😭😭😭😭)

incywincyspideragain · 10/01/2017 16:23

Yes it would bother me, unacceptable and not schools decision to make and I would complain - I have aspergers 10 year old and some PGs are not suitable for him and if someone else let him view them and left me with the fall out I'd be fuming. Books are different as he "can imagine as much as he wants to and exclude the rest" For example, he has no desire to watch Harry Potter as it will be "a bit full on" on screen and he's happy with how he sees the story, is strong to use "safeguarding" label but I would be viewing it in that terms for my son and going into school to complain and asking how they are ensuring it doesn't happen again, understand we are all human and teacher has possibly just made an error of judgement on trying to do something fun, I generally have a beef about DVDs in school though, save it for hometime and school for learning or play or sports or arts or something rather than a crap film

afromom · 10/01/2017 16:26

We are fairly lax in our house regarding age certificates, both ds12 and DSD 10 have seen several films above their age. However DP and I saw bad Santa before Christmas, we were planning on letting the DCs watch it with us but they didn't in the end. We both commented half way through that we were relieved they hadn't seen it and won't be for some time. It's completely inappropriate. The sex references are frequent throughout! I wouldn't be happy if ds had watched this in school at all.

LimitedSedition · 10/01/2017 16:28

BAD SANTA!!!!

Good grief!

FreshStartJanuary · 10/01/2017 16:34

Alipartout on the safe spaces point I call bullshit.

My kids don't need to have crap films with dubious sexual messages foisted on them in social time by teachers. The adult one is now quite robust thanks and laughs at snowflakes his own age. Naturally he thinks I am an idiot but then I thought the same of my" old fashioned " dad. I remember when he stopped getting the paper when it started to run topless pictures. I thought he was soo embarrassing. I don't now!

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 10/01/2017 16:36

Um no.

For starters I dont see the need to be watching a film anyway. I raise an eyebrow at 'educational' films as well given all the "children dont learn anything from watching tv...all screens are evil and will rot your brain and your morals no matter what is on them" rhetoric that DCs teachers will spout at any given opportunity.

Also I get an awful lot of emails and texts and newsletters from both schools about the danger of allowing children to have age inappropriate video games and films. (I wholeheartedly agree).

They can't have it all ways.

ALemonyPea · 10/01/2017 16:37

For me it would depend on the film and the content. I wouldn't be happy with Bad Santa.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/01/2017 16:43

According to Wiki, that film has 173 "f**ck's"

If they honestly think that's suitable for 12 year olds I'm afraid I'd be having words

NickyEds · 10/01/2017 16:44

Yes ali I would expect to have the choice to opt out of a part of the curriculum if it involved my 12 year old (my dc are much younger -this is still hypothetical)reading a book/watching a film containing butt fucking, 'cunts' and 'fucks'. Dp is a lecturer at a Uni and not watching enough 15 rated films at 12 has never been a problem with his students.

PollyPerky · 10/01/2017 16:45

People saying it wouldn't bother them.... The OP clearly states she had already told her DC they weren't to watch it

No she didn't actually. She said they had asked to watch 'a' film (3 years above their ages) - not THE same film as was shown in school.

Unless she's being inaccurate with her posts.

ailPartout · 10/01/2017 16:52

incywincyspideragain

How about viewing a PG when he's 15?

Film isn't the only graphic media and I find it a little strange that it sounds like you wouldn't have an issue with a 'scary' book like HP.

I couldn't agree with you less that " Books are different as he "can imagine as much as he wants to and exclude the rest"". My English and drama teachers would struggle not to laugh in the face of an opinion like this.

You're talking about your son who is an unusual and a specific instance and I'd like to think that his particular needs would be taken into account. Your opinions are fairly unrelated to the OP's NT child though.

puzzledAndPissedOff

I'm afraid I'd be having words

I know. I'd tell them to fuck off too!

FreshStartJanuary

on the safe spaces point I call bullshit.

Why?

My kids don't need to have crap films with dubious sexual messages

I've no doubt. Have you seen the film? What are the dubious sexual messages? I haven't seen it. If you're talking about the non-descript "butt sex" quote from earlier then, well, I don't judge. Whatever floats their boats.

Naturally he thinks I am an idiot

Naturally.

I remember when he stopped getting the paper when it started to run topless pictures.

Is this about page 3? Admittedly I'm exhausted and have nearly finished a bottle of red but I don't see the connection to any PP.

coloursThatWereMyJoy

I raise an eyebrow at 'educational' films as well

Are you being obtuse?

There's a huge difference between watching a TV programme, video or film for a specific benefit and the zombies I sometimes see being created by lazy parents who throw and iPad/youtube at their problem child.

ailPartout · 10/01/2017 16:54

Nicky

watching a film containing butt fucking, 'cunts' and 'fucks'

punctuation plays a massive role here...

ptangyangkipperbanguuh · 10/01/2017 16:56

I wonder if the teacher who showed it ahs 12 -1 4 yo children. I think when you are a teacher who has children growing up in your home you become so much more aware of the needs and differences in children. there are no 'typical' 13 year olds. Just because some watch violent stuff at home , both on video games and in films, doesn't mean there aren't others who still believe in Santa... for goodness sake, show Home Alone. Bit violent but has a warm message and is funny. And a 12A. I think (I am sure someone will check!). Or show A Christmas Carol. Educational. It's pretty easy. Woman In Black is a bigger problem but I now don't use it with year 9 since my own child had nightmares! I note with interest a PP's comment on War Horse. I have never had issues with that one other than some upset students who love horses. But it has a happy ending :)

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/01/2017 17:01

For me it totally depends on the film.

Of it was relevant for a topic or something used for discussion eg drugs or alcohol or bullying or racism etc then I'd be OK with all or part of said films being shown to my dd.

Just as class filler probably not unless the rating was inaccurate/exaggerated.

But our school always sends out emails

Original poster
Keremy · 10/01/2017 17:07

I have emailed the year head Happymum. No reply yet.

OP posts:
NickyEds · 10/01/2017 17:08

ali, eh? I was replying to your question. I would expect to be able to opt out of a part of the curriculum if it involved my 12 year old watching films/reading books containing 'fucks', 'cunts', 'butt fucks' and, potentially the n word. Fortunately I don't think the curriculum does involve that, which is why a school, letting a 12 year old watch Bad Santa is even more out of line.

NickyEds · 10/01/2017 17:11

Blush fully accept responsibility for the random comma in my last post.

bumsexatthebingo · 10/01/2017 17:13

We had to sign a form to say that our nearly 10 yo could watch a pg at school so I would raise an eyebrow at them watching anything rated over their age. I probably wouldn't say anything unless they were bothered by it though.

Procrastinationismybitch · 10/01/2017 17:13

Bad Santa is a complete No-No as far as I'm concerned! Tbh, I must be out of touch or incredibly naive but if I was a teen watching that with my teacher in the room I would be cringing in horro

cherrycrumblecustard · 10/01/2017 17:14

What's worrying is that bar a few children in year 10 born in September, October, November and the first part of December, ALL the children are too young. It's not like showing a 15 at the end of year 10 where just a few summer borns are too young.